School’s Out for Summer so Eat Some Funky Tuna Casserole

[00:00:00] There are so many delicious pasta sauces like marinara, alfredo, and even spicy fra diavolo. Which pasta sauce is your favorite, Carrie? I hands down love the pesto. Ooh, well today we will be making a pasta sauce. It's called Pasta al tono, 1970s Northwest Ohio style. Oh my, so it's going to be white and bland.

[00:00:30] One can hope, Carrie. One can hope. Oh dear. Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts. You can say that again. I hardly believe that today is the last episode of season four.

[00:00:58] I really can't believe it. I know, right? When we started this, I thought one or two seasons maybe, and then that would be it. You'd be sick of each other. Oh yeah. And moving on. And here we are four, and I don't know about you, and maybe this is not the appropriate time to mention it, but I would like to do a season five. Can you say yes? Heck yes! Okay, I have that down in my notes, Carrie, so it has to happen. Oh good! Yeah, as long as it's in your notes.

[00:01:22] It is, it is. I said, after this we'll be going on our summer hiatus, but don't worry listeners, we will be coming back. That was very hopeful of you that I would say yes. It was. I mean, we have 200 listeners, Carrie, we can't let them down. No, I don't even know 200 people. I don't either. I mean, that's amazing. Can you imagine 200 people actually liking us? Okay, so just because we have 200 listeners does not mean they don't like us. Oh, that's true. They might listen to just laugh.

[00:01:52] Mock. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. I don't care, I'll take it. Yeah, absolutely. Well, today's recipe is a little bit of a dare to Carrie. I specifically chose this because basically I knew she'd hate it. It's known as pasta al tono in Italy, but ours is from the June 21st, 1973 Mary's Memo.

[00:02:16] And I must admit that the Italian version of this sounds very much better than what we will be making today. So much better. Yeah, so pasta al tono means pasta with tuna. Yes. And a recipe from Mary is actually called spaghetti with tuna onion sauce. So in my research. Yes. Pasta, well, al tono. I'm talking about tuna e bello. So it's probably a little bit different. Yeah.

[00:02:41] But they use tuna packed in olive oil, butter, pepper, and then your pasta. Very simple, very typical Italian. Yes. And somebody said that it is surprisingly complex, a little rich, a little briny, and super satisfying. Okay. And would I like that? No, not likely. Probably not. Does it make my stomach churn and make me think that you are evil incarnate? No. No, no, it does not. I have said repeatedly. Yes.

[00:03:11] That Mary pleasantly surprises us with her choices over and over. And the times that we have thought they were going to be utter shite. And we are pleasantly surprised that they are not heinous. I take all of that back. Oh, do you? I have zero faith in this recipe. Oh, no. I am prepared to gag as hardcore as I did on that stupid legal apple pie. Oh, I think you might, Kiri.

[00:03:40] And I think the pièce de résistance, the thing that's going to make you gag the most, is the addition. Not only is there tuna, and there's butter and there's flour. We're going to make a white sauce. There's weird nutmeg in it. Salt and pepper. Fine, right? Pearl onions. It called for a can of whole onions. And so I looked up what that meant in the 70s. That was pearl onions. Super excited to get one giant onion. Oh, yeah. But the delightful part is that it includes. Oh, yeah, it does.

[00:04:09] Stuffed olives. I mean, really? Yeah. We have learned repeatedly. I really dislike olives. You really do. Every time I get one, I think, oh, this is an incredibly unpleasant flavor. Yeah. I mean, there are meals that I think, this is nice. This is nice. This is fine. This is good. The olive ruins it. The potato log.

[00:04:38] I was just going to say the potato salad log. I think you probably would have enjoyed it if it didn't have olives. 100%. Yeah. It is the olive that brought it back. So here we're going to warm up tuna and throw in a giant mouthful of flavorless onion, which is generally the pearl. Yeah. And a nice chunk of olive. Delicious. Now, Carrie, did you even ever like tuna noodle casserole?

[00:05:06] No, I despise tuna noodle. Oh, okay. I would say heated up canned tuna. Is not your favorite, huh? It's just disgusting. Wow. I would eat a tuna fish salad sandwich. Really? I enjoy a tuna fish salad sandwich. Wow. I, on occasion, will get a tuna fish salad from Subway. No. Uh-uh. Not at work. Because if you don't know the rule, no fish at work. No fish at work. I don't do it at work. Yeah.

[00:05:34] But yes, I am not opposed to too cold tuna. Fine. You're fine, but it's the heated up. So when grandma just put the open can of tuna in front of us and said, here, you need more protein, that was absolutely fine. Dig on in. It wasn't warmed up. I didn't know how pungent a can of tuna without mayonnaise and other things mixed in was going to be. I was quite taken aback. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I knew hot tuna was awful.

[00:06:04] Yeah. My husband said, he's like, no, I think people ate this all the time, Carrie. I'm like, no, no, they didn't. He's like, no, I went to my friend Ed's house and they had tuna surprise. Yeah. Yes. It was tuna noodle casserole. People ate that. Oh yeah. People didn't eat this. This is weird. Oh, this tuna spaghetti. Oh, absolutely. As a matter of fact, they've been eating tuna noodle casserole since 1930.

[00:06:28] The first recipe was published in Sunset Magazine and they called it not tuna noodle casserole. I mean, that's pedestrian. They called it noodles and tuna fish casserole. Oh, how wrong. Yes. And along with Sunset Magazine makes it sound like it's for like seniors. Sunset Magazine was a travel magazine for people who lived in California. Huh. Sunset Magazine. Oh. Makes sense, right? It's pretty and crap over there. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:06:56] So anyway, it had tuna and egg noodles. It also had a white sauce, which is much like what we're going to make in our tuna dish. Or the cream of mushroom Campbell's soup mix. Right. Right. It had mushrooms and a cheese topping. And then when Campbell's soup came along, they're just like, heck, I'm not tossing in the fresh mushrooms and making a cream sauce. No. I'm just using this soup, right? And why wouldn't you? Exactly. It makes it so much easier to ruin a horrifyingly awful dinner.

[00:07:23] Well, this is hilarious because I found a cookbook from 1972. It was a scholastic cookbook called Cool Cooking, Recipes of Your Favorite Rock Stars. So it was obviously aimed at kids because it was scholastic. Absolutely. And in it, Alice Cooper. Shut up. Yep. Had a recipe called Funky Tuna Casserole. Now, let's see if you would like this. No. Well, it had cream of mushroom soup, but no egg noodles.

[00:07:50] Instead, it had crushed cashews and chow mein noodles in it. Yeah. It's not the egg noodles that make me dislike this meal. Oh. It's the tuna. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then maybe you would have liked in that same cookbook, Elton John had a recipe for shrimp curry. Nope. Okay. How about David Cassidy? This is funny. David Cassidy had a recipe called On The Set Salad, which was such a very difficult recipe.

[00:08:18] It was just a bunch of veggies and hard-boiled egg with any low-cal store-bought French or blue cheese dressing. Oh, David, that's just sad. It was lame. That's really kind of funny, though. So you have Alice Cooper, obviously American. Yeah. Tuna noodle casserole. Yep. Elton John, not American. Shrimp curry. Indian, of course, because he's British. Yep. They love their Indian food. Yep. And seafood. Yes. And then David Cassidy clearly watched his weight. Clearly.

[00:08:46] I am sad for David Cassidy's poor little wife. You know daggone well David Cassidy did not submit that recipe. This Scholastic Cookbook, they just made up recipes, I'm sure. Because Blood, Sweat, and Tears, an American band, had borscht as the recipe. Were they from like the Minnesota area? No, I think they were Southern. I'll have to look it up. But do you remember some of their songs? There was one called Spinning Wheel Likes to Go Round.

[00:09:15] Yes, I do remember. You probably know this one. You make me so very happy. Yes, I do. That's Blood, Sweat, and Tears. Huh. Yeah. I have learned something about myself. What? I love listening to old love songs and ballads. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So when I'm in the car and my husband is in the car, he puts on retro music from the 70s and 80s. Yeah. And he sings all of them.

[00:09:44] And he's like, why aren't you singing along? And I'm like, I know the song. I don't know any of the words. Oh. But I've heard the song. I put on The Blend. Ooh, Carrie. The Blend. It's all 80s love songs. Oh, yeah. I sing to every last one. I know all of them. My angsty, unloving teenage girl knew the love songs that I wanted some boy somewhere to sing to me. Yes. It never happened. I know all the words to those. I do, too.

[00:10:12] I must admit to you that my workout playlist is actually 80s ballads. Yes. So my husband will listen to the station with me for a good 10 minutes and then go, I cannot tolerate another love song. He'll be like, nope. I am all done. Let's put it on a bunch of music that you don't know the words to and I can sing along with. Oh, nice. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot, husband. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to insist on love songs from now on. I think you should. I hadn't thought of that until now. Now I'm angry. Now I am. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:41] By the way, while you were getting so angry, I looked up blood, sweat, and tears. I was wrong. They weren't a Southern band. They were from New York City. Oh, a home of the borscht. There you go. Absolutely.

[00:11:20] All right. Called for canned whole onions. I had to Google that. Pearl onions used to be canned. I think I recall that. Yeah. Yeah. And I found them frozen. So enjoy that delightfulness. They won't be as mushy, I guess. And then we are going to basically stir in the tuna and what else? All the olives. So, yeah. Kristen, before we start. Yes. Had very kindly.

[00:11:49] She's like, these olives are huge, Carrie. No worries. We can quarter them when we put them in there. Yeah. No. Uh-uh. Have them. Because I can avoid those suckers like the plague. That is so true. If they're giant, I don't ever have to get one in my mouth. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. So, I guess I ought to start cutting the olives.

[00:12:12] But I did want to tell you, as I was looking up traditional Italian dishes that had tuna. Mm-hmm. Really, any traditional Italian pasta dishes. I was coming up with some names of Italian pasta dishes for our pre-intro for this episode. And I came up with bolognese. Bolognese, we say in American. Bolognese. They say in Italy.

[00:12:37] And as I did a little research about it, Carrie, the real traditional spaghetti bolognese is actually spaghetti with tuna and tomato. Ha. Yeah. I'm so glad they made that change.

[00:12:51] And in 2018, after years of controversy, the Italian Academy of Cuisine officially declared that spaghetti a bolognese is the dish with tuna, olive oil, and tomatoes, and not the one with the meat ragu that we think of when we think of spaghetti bolognese. Well, way to force crap on us that we didn't want. Thanks a lot, Italian Academy of Cuisine. Yeah.

[00:13:20] I would not be going there. I know, right? Sheesh. I can cut the olives if you want to. You want to start making the... Okay. And I need to fill this pot with water. Okay. So because I have a love of all things heated tuna, I decided I would look into other tuna monstrosities of recipes and share some. I like monstrosities. Yeah. So we start hardcore. Yeah. Tuna jello salad. Seriously.

[00:13:50] Come on. There is a man. I am sure he's on Instagram. Yeah. I know he's on Instagram. I'm sure he's also on TikTok. TikTok. He loves to make older vintage recipes. Yes. He is a hoot and a half. I know who you're talking about. He's so cute. He wears cute little aprons. He does. Yes. Personality larger than life. Yes, yes, yes. He laughs his way through these recipes. He made this. He gagged. Oh my gosh.

[00:14:20] He spit it out. He may have wiped his tongue off. I think I saw that one. The tuna in jello recipe. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And Carrie, while you're telling me about this, I have to tell you, I'm getting the water ready to boil for the spaghetti. Good job. Yeah. It says to put oil in the water. That is so sacrilege. It is, but it's so 70s. It is so 70s. Keep all that, those pastas from sticking together, Kristen. Oh my gosh. Yeah. You need that. Wow.

[00:14:50] Okay. Do you have any other? Oh gosh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Microwaved tuna melt. What? Yeah. A mayonnaise heavy, undrained tuna on bread, heated in the micro till rubbery. Oh, that sounds terrible. And it sounds like something our grandma would have made. Oh, totally does. Yeah. She moved her micro. That little sucker would be so protein packed. It would be. Yeah. Those are big pieces.

[00:15:18] Carrie's taking giant olives and simply cutting them in half. Yeah. You'll miss those, won't you? Yes, I will. Oh, that's a good idea. I'm very pleased with this turn of events. Yeah, that's probably a good idea, Carrie. Okay. Another one. Hoy. Tuna and waffles. Oh my gosh. Can of tuna in cream of mushroom soup served over waffles. Yeah, I think I've seen that on my head. Why would you do that to a good waffle? Why? I don't get it. No, chicken with waffles. No. Delightful. Yeah. No. Okay, here we go.

[00:15:48] There's two more. Okay. Tuna pasta salad with fruit. Fruit. Uh-huh. And so AI, again, really nailed the write-up. Some recipes involved combining tuna with mayo, pasta, and unexpected fruits like apples, which, while some enjoy it, is considered a worst food nightmare by others. Yeah, no kidding. Absolutely. Okay. Okay, and then the last one is a tuna upside down bake. Oh, no. I actually watched a video about this. Oh.

[00:16:17] There was a website, Mid-Century Menu, who made the tuna upside down bake. And it is exactly as described. It involves canned tuna mixed with canned vegetables in a creamy base, then baked upside down, creating a mushy, discolored mess. Oh, God. Yeah. So the canned vegetables that they use are Veg-All. Oh, my gosh. Yes. We've talked about our mom using veg-al before.

[00:16:44] We've never really delved into the world, the art that is veg-al. Oh, there's an art. Well, I don't know, but that's what we're going to call it. Okay. Because it sounds better that way. Yeah. Okay, so the Mid-Century Menu wrote a lovely little bit about veg-al. Oh, to the Veg-All? It was so good that I felt like I just needed to steal his words. Oh, please do. The year was 1926. Oh. The Delta Queen was paddling up and down the Mississippi. Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too ambled out of the hundred-acre wood. Wow.

[00:17:14] And names like Stalin, Mussolini, and Hirohito were being uttered for the very first time. Oh, my. Busy households were embracing electric toasters, zippers, and the world's first convenience food, veg-al. Oh, my. Mm-hmm. Okay, so that was the fun part. Yeah. Veg-al, when you first got it, was 10 extra fancy quality vegetables in one can. My goodness. Mm-hmm.

[00:17:40] It was endearing housewives with its promise of no scrubbing, no peeling, no work. I mean, that is kind of nice. It really, you know, as we have done this and we've learned about how sliced bread and simple little things just had such life-altering events for housewives at the time, you can see how veg-al would have absolutely been one of those things. Oh, my gosh. Yes. Okay. So, the original veg-al, as I mentioned, had 10 vegetables in it. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[00:18:09] Celery, string beans, peas, corn, lima beans, potatoes, carrots, okra, onion, and, of course, pimentos. Of course. Wow. Yeah. So, obviously, they marketed themselves to the busy housewives so much that they put a coupon for a free can in the Ladies Home Journal magazine. Oh, that was smart. Oh, heck yeah. Yeah. So, then in the 50s, veg-al changed its recipe to what is used today. Yes.

[00:18:39] We do not have 10 vegetables anymore. Now, we only have seven. They still have okra. I was surprised. Oh, no, no. Okra, pimento, and onion were removed. Yes. They were out. Yes. They were eating carrots, potatoes, celery peas, beans, corn, and lima beans, and they added a light onion broth for flavor. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Yeah. You can stop with the Alice, Kerr. Well, I haven't filled the quarter of the cup. Okay, you go for it then, Kerr. Nope.

[00:19:09] Back in it goes. And she's been given permission, and she's done. A scant quarter of a cup is good for me. Wow. Well, now, are you done with your veg-al story? I mean, did you want me to be? Pretty much, yeah. Ok. No, do you have more? No, that was, I mean, I, no. That was plenty of veg-al. That's so funny. I ended up looking up what pasta crimes did your family commit back in the day? Okay, so overcooking the pasta until it was a mushy mess. Absolutely.

[00:19:36] One person said, my Oma boiled spaghetti to mush with too much salt, served it with ketchup instead of sauce. I heard that that was a big thing. Oh, yeah, yeah. I cannot imagine. No. Ooh. Yucko blucko. Yeah, you know, there's probably a whole generation of people that think they hate spaghetti. Spaghetti. Yes. And then one person said, not only did my mom break the spaghetti in half, which I promise I won't do even though I put oil in the water.

[00:20:04] Apparently this mom did not put oil in the water because she didn't stir it. It would get clumps that stuck together on one end and were only partially cooked so they looked like albino squids. Someone online commented, are we related? Let's see. And there was one other that I thought you would love. No one can boil the absolute crap out of some broken in half spaghetti like my mom. Also, she added stuff like peas and corn to the sauce. Why? Why? That sounds like our mom. Oh, yeah.

[00:20:34] Extra veggies. I will tell you, there are times that I go to boil spaghetti. Yeah. And I get some in the pan and I get it all, you know, squished down into the pan and then I have to add more and I'm looking at it and I'm like, ah, screw it. And I crack that stuff in half and I throw it in there. Because it all just fits and I can move on my unhappy cooking way. Yes, you can. Yes. Oh, man. All right. Say something I dare you. I'm not going to say a word. I'll tell you one more horror story and then I'll go over and start making the white sauce.

[00:21:04] One poster's roommate once told her that she hated spaghetti and tomato sauce as a kid and never got why other kids liked it so much until she learned how to cook herself and realized that her mom used to use pure tomato paste as a sauce. Not thinned down, no spices, nothing. Just pure tomato paste. I mean, that would be as equally as heinous as ketchup. Almost worse because it has that tinny flavor and it's not sweet at all. It's almost bitter. Uh-uh.

[00:21:33] Ooh, ooh, ooh. Did you have more of those? No, that's it. Okay, because I looked up Kraft Spaghetti Classics Tangy Italian Box. Oh, did it come with a little thing of like Parmesan cheese? It did, yeah. Each box had spaghetti, a packet of Kraft Parmesan cheese. Okay, yeah. And the piste resistance. Ooh. The seasoning packet. Oh, and what'd you do? Add it to tomato sauce, not tomato paste? Tomato paste, I believe. What? Yes.

[00:22:01] An eight ounce can of tomato paste and two cans of water using the piste can. At least thin down, right? Yeah. And so what they say about this seasoning packet, people apparently who grew up with it crave it fortnightly. You're kidding me! No, it apparently was just absolutely amazing and they have tried to recreate it themselves. Yeah. But if you look on the ingredients of the seasoning packet, it just says a lot of spices and then spices. No.

[00:22:29] Yeah, so it doesn't actually tell you what's in it so you can't really make it yourself. So somebody wrote, it's the seasoning that makes the sauce tangy and unique. Oh. It has a kick to it. Likely from celery salt. That's hilarious. That is immediately memorable. Oh. There's a fair amount of industrial chemistry going on as well to make that tasty seasoning. So anyway, it goes back to the fifties that this box of delight comes out and... Wow. Yeah.

[00:22:58] I always wanted us to get that. Again, I was shot down. I mean, we had the pizza kit, right? Remember? Uh-huh. Mom would make the pizza and instead of putting it on a round pizza pan, she'd spread it out over an entire cookie sheet. It was paper thin. It was paper thin. The sauce was watery. You could not pick up the pizza because it was floppy. You know, cross. That's right. And American cheese on the top. Absolutely. Slices of American cheese, right?

[00:23:27] So we could have that. How come not the spaghetti? I am sure we got canned spaghetti sauce. Yeah. And it was probably easier. Probably. She didn't have to take the paste and two cans of water and stir in the seasoning packet. Come on. Yeah, that's true. And I'll tell you what, I have a memory of taking plates of spaghetti to the table. Oh, I remember this. And serving it to dad. And the spaghetti was too wet. Yep. And it slid off the plate into our dad's lap.

[00:23:57] And you just stood there crying. Oh, I felt so terrible. Sobbing. And dad, of course, jumps up swearing because he just got a plate full of hot spaghetti. Hot spaghetti in his crotch. That's a whole crap ton of water, which is why it slid off in the first plate. That's right. Oh, I'm sorry. This is sizzling so loud. I'm sorry. That's all right. I don't think it's the sizzle. I think it's the metal on metal. This is the most fun podcast ever.

[00:24:37] Oh, goodness gracious. We are so much fun. And I can see why 200 people want to stop listening to us. Oh, would stop listening to us. Absolutely. Okay. So the spaghetti box. Yeah. Was made to make life easier. Okay. Right. So also made to make life easier was Hamburger Helper. Right. Followed by Tuna Helper. Oh, my.

[00:25:05] Very apropos to today's nightmare of a recipe. Oh, yes and maybe. Tuna Helper introduced in 1972. Oh, my. It was a follow-up to 1971's hit Hamburger Helper. Hamburger. And obviously, it was designed for an easy one-pan meal using tuna. And some of the original flavors you could get were noodles and cheese. Ooh. Mm-hmm. Noodles and cream. Potatoes and flavor.

[00:25:36] Potatoes and flavor. Are you kidding me? Yeah. Yep. Oh, wow. So that sounds pretty exciting. And then, Kristen, did you know, because those two were such a huge hit, in 1973, the year of this Mary's Memo. Yeah. They came out with another helper. What? Fruit helper. What? Yeah. I have no memory of this. Sorry. I remember Fruit Fresh. Do you remember Fruit Fresh? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was tasted like chemicals on your fruit. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:26:05] So it was a dessert version. Oh. Was it like a cobbler? You would take canned fruit and syrup and milk and add it to the mixture that came in the fruit helper and create a pudding-like dish with a crunchy topping. Okay. That doesn't sound too bad. Hard to imagine that people didn't do that. I mean, there's nothing in it. Uh-uh. You had to provide all your own stuff, your fruit and your milk. You had to provide the fruit and the milk and all it came with was like the crunchy topping

[00:26:35] and the whatever powder made the pudding. You could have just bought some freaking vanilla instant pudding. Yeah. Yeah. And get some crunchy topping or get some biscuit. I'm going to love some graham crackers. Yeah, man. Yeah. That's crazy. So obviously that one didn't make it. Huh. Yeah. I thought that was pretty interesting. That is pretty interesting. When we first started looking at this recipe, the horror, I thought we were going to do tuna in a red sauce.

[00:27:03] I did not know that it was going to be a white kind of Alfredo type sauce. Yeah. There are a million and a half famous people that own pasta sauce lines. Really? Is Alice Cooper one of them? He is not. Oh. There's a whole bunch of people who were on The Sopranos. Oh, well, that makes sense. Yeah. Can you guess anyone else and not Paul Newman? I mean, he does, but he's an easy one. Okay. Stanley Tucci.

[00:27:33] Not that I found. Oh. No, but that's a great guess. He totally should. Yeah. Yeah, he should. He might have a booze of some kind. Oh, probably. Yeah. That would make sense. Yeah. Because that's the other thing famous people own are boozes. Booze. Yeah. Nope. Not Stanley Tucci, but Harry Hamlin. You are kidding me. I'm pretty sure he's married to Lisa Rinna. Yes, he is. And he had, why? Why does he have pasta sauce? I haven't heard of it.

[00:28:02] Do I know of it? No, I don't know of it. I don't even know the name of it. Oh, it's called Harry's Famous Sauce. Oh. Yeah, so famous, I did not know. That's right. It existed. Another one, Eminem. You're kidding me. Yeah, but it makes sense. Because in his rap, you know, that made him so famous. Yeah. He puked out mom's spaghetti. Oh. That's one of the lines is, you know, shirt's covered in mom's spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti.

[00:28:27] So he has a spaghetti sauce, and it's tied to, he owns a restaurant called Mom's Spaghetti. You're kidding. Yeah. And so that one is a good one. Wow. Christy Teigen. What? Why? Why does Christy Teigen have a spaghetti sauce? This makes no sense whatsoever. None of these make sense. I mean, anybody who was on The Sopranos. Yes. That makes complete and total sense. Eminem. This kind of makes sense. Yeah. Harry Hamlin? No. No. Christy Teigen? Uh-uh. The reviews I read were...

[00:28:57] I mean, doesn't she diet all the time? She's a model. Maybe she just eats scoops of her sauce. Does her sauce have tuna in it? That would make sense. There's a lot of protein. That would be good. Yeah. Okay. And here's the one that I thought you were going to be the most excited about. Oh, boy. John Bon Jovi. What? Yes. Apparently, he has brothers or cousins or I don't know. Yeah. Pictures of four guys, including John. And they have Bon Jovi pasta sauces.

[00:29:26] Now, that would make sense. I mean, Bon Jovi. And it's spelled not like the band Bon Jovi. Yeah. Like his real spelling. Well, Carrie, speaking of pasta sauces, I think you need to come take a peek at this. This sauce is so thick. This would not be sliding off the plate into our dad's lap. It would be if you overcooked the pasta. That's true. I have not cooked the pasta yet, but I'm going to cook it and then add it directly to the sauce. It looks like cream chip beef on toast. Oh, gosh. We have to eat that. Without olives.

[00:29:56] I mean, with olives. Cream chip beef on toast. Giant, nasty olive right in the middle. You left them so big. I mean, it's going to be nasty whether it's big or little. Oh, my gosh. Okay. So, I wanted to talk to you about the year that this recipe came out. The year of my birth. I mean, there's lots of special, special things that happen. No. Just my birth. Okay. There's lots of weird things that happen. How about that? Also my birth. Oh, that's true. This recipe was super weird.

[00:30:23] Well, March 4th, 1973 saw the weirdest trade in baseball history. Okay. Okay. How did you come across this and did it even make sense to you? Oh, it did. Oh, okay. Oh, it did because they were not traded to other teams. Two New York Yankees pitchers, Mike Kietich and Fritz Peterson, held separate news conferences during spring training announcing that they had traded lives.

[00:30:52] They traded wives, children, houses, and even dogs. Well, I mean, you better leave the dog if you left the kids and the wife. They flibbity-flopped it all. What? I know, right? Apparently, Mike Kietich started campaigning for Peterson's wife in 1972. He told his own wife, Susan, and he told Peterson that he loved Peterson's wife, Marilyn, more. What? What? Yeah.

[00:31:21] And so Kietich's relationship, though, with Marilyn was over very quickly. And Fritz, who married Susan, they stayed together until Fritz's death. Just out of spite. I had done it out of spite. In 2023, he died. They stayed together the whole time. And both Mike Kietich and Fritz Peterson were then traded to the Cleveland Indians by the New York Yankees following their wife swap. Holy moly. Yeah.

[00:31:50] So they just sent them on to be Cleveland's problem, which sounds typical. Oh, wow. That's a story. Isn't that wild? Yeah. But I'll tell you what. This sauce is thick. It is. It's like me, baby. You're thick. It's like wallpaper paste, really. It looks like a chunky, chunky wallpaper paste with olives. Absolutely. So I'll tell you what.

[00:32:19] The oil floating on the top of this water has really kept this spaghetti from being sticky. They're like albino squids. Let me tell you one more thing that happened in 1973 that's not weird, but is wonderful. Oh, okay. I was born. You were born. And Schoolhouse Rock debuted. Oh, you love Schoolhouse. Oh, my gosh. Do you remember any of them? Do you have a favorite? No. Okay. Do you remember I'm Just a Boo?

[00:32:49] It's the only one I know. Okay. Maybe you remember conjunction, junction. What's your function? I do. I do. Yes. How about lolly, lolly, lolly? Get your adverbs here. Nope. How about we the people? Nope. In order to form a more perfect union. I can sing the entire preamble of the... I've never heard it. Oh, wow. That's pathetic, Carrie. How about announce a special kind of word? It's any name you've ever heard.

[00:33:17] I find it quite interesting. Announce a person, place, or thing. Oh, I took a train, took a train to another stand. Causing! All right. Fine. Are you done? No, there's more. Are you kidding me? No. Huh. Nope. You didn't love every minute of that? This is so thick. I'm not even going to strain the pasta. No, because the pasta water makes everything. Yeah. I'm going to take it directly and put it in the pot. Okay. You do that. And while she does that, I'll tell you something interesting.

[00:33:46] And I won't sing either. You're rude. I know. I looked up on Kawora. Kawora? Uh-huh. They're akin to Reddit. It is. What's the worst tasting meal you've ever made? Oh. This sounds fun. Yes. Because you're about to try this, Carrie. I know. This might be the worst tasting meal you've ever had. I found two that I thought were appropriate. So many years ago, my mom gave me a crock pot for Christmas. I was a single mom of two, living with number two's father.

[00:34:14] Still pretty new to the cooking world, I read the recipe book that came with it and decided to make crock pot spaghetti. Okay. Invited the father's sister and brother-in-law to join us for dinner. And I am 100% positive that nobody who ate that meal will ever try crock pot spaghetti again. Oh, what? What? I learned a valuable lesson that night. If the recipe says ground beef, make notice if it includes the word browned. No.

[00:34:40] Uncooked ground beef, spaghetti sauce and spaghetti noodles mixed together and cooked on low for four hours makes gourmet canned dog food or so it tastes. Oh, no kidding. Carrie, speaking of dog food, why don't you come over and take a peek at this? I was, I, as thick as that sauce is, I was wondering if you want to include a little pasta. I am going to add a little pasta. That is bland on bland, baby. It is thick on bland. Holy crap. It is thick. Holy moly. Okay. So the second one. Yes.

[00:35:10] My soon-to-be wife was spending the weekend with me. She made a tune of something that was just dreadful. Oh, no. She asked me how it was and I mumbled, but her daughter, age three, spit it back out and then with her fingers, scraped her tongue and made a noise and said, ugh. Oh, no. He was kind at that moment and then the article goes on to say they're no longer married. Happiest years of his life since then. That's funny and terrible. So I think the worst thing she did was not that meal.

[00:35:40] Not that meal. Okay. And one more as you plate this up. Okay, this one not related to what we're cooking at all, but flippin' hilarious. Oh, let's hear. Okay. Well, back when I was married, my husband shows up with some stock-like produce with a few leaves on top. I asked him what it was. He said rhubarb. Oh. So I looked up a recipe and made him a strawberry rhubarb pie. Oh, I do love a strawberry rhubarb pie.

[00:36:05] I have never tasted rhubarb before, but this pie tasted just like dirt. What? Turns out it was Swiss chard. I made. No. Strawberry. Swiss chard pie. Swiss chard is so bitter and so nasty. I do not love Swiss chard. I tried to make the family rainbow chard one time that I bought at the farmer's market. I'm like, this is so pretty. We tasted it. We're like, eh. Nope.

[00:36:34] Apparently, he should have made it. Oh. The strawberry chard pie. Oh. Oh. Oh, that would make me laugh so hard. That is hilarious. And the fun stops here. Oh, yeah. And we're not laughing anymore, Kristen. I left a big, beautiful olive for you. We better eat this crap fast. The battery on the computer's dying.

[00:36:57] So, the computer was dying as we're recording. So, I ran upstairs, got the charging cord. And in the meantime, Carrie's pouring herself a big old glass of water and has something tasty to eat to shove in her mouth afterwards. You're really anticipating this will be horrible. Y'all, you can't smell this. I can smell it. It does not smell terrible to me.

[00:37:26] It smells like tuna. Hot tuna. It does. I want to make sure that we have enough pearl onions on here so we can get one of those in each bite. That's so thoughtful of you. Yeah. To be quite honest, yeah, I think I said this before. To me, it looks like chipped beef on toast, but chipped beef on sketti. With olives. With olives. I think the olives are probably going to be my least favorite part as well. The cream sauce came together beautifully. This was super, super easy. Okay. So, please stop the torture.

[00:37:56] Eat this crap. Oh, it's so thick. Maybe for the leftovers that Carrie's going to take home. I should put pasta water in it. I mean, y'all, I have. I'm getting a big bite. I have eaten lots of various things on this podcast. Yeah. And I have willingly done it. Yes. I've been into that legal apple pie with less trepidation than I am going to take a bite of this. Oh, no. Oh, Kristen's making pukey face. What am I going to do?

[00:38:26] Oh, gosh. That tuna. I got the cheapest tuna they had because I knew we were going to throw this away. That tuna is rank. I'm used to the expensive, you know, tuna. Oh, I don't know. Okay. I'm going to try one more bite before we get into it. I'll tell you the best part of the whole thing. The pearl onions. You're done? No. You're done. Oh, God. The pearl onion was crunchy and good. Oh, gosh. I'm going to do it again. I'm going to get a big old olive.

[00:38:56] I cannot tell you the nerves I have. I am eyeing one little spot. There doesn't seem to be a lot of tuna. Okay. Is it that right there? Okay. I'm going to pop this in my mouth with a big old curi cut those monster olives in half, and I'm going to pop one in my mouth. That pearl onion was quite tasty. I didn't even know what a pearl onion was. I wondered if it was a variety of onion. Apparently, it's just they're actually immature baby onions of each of the different varieties of onions. Oh, gosh, we're infants.

[00:39:26] Yeah, you are. Oh. Infants and a little fishy. Okay. I'm going to take another bite. You do that, and I'm going to try and scoop the tuna out of this little spot here. And I can hear chewing. Oh, the horror, y'all. Yeah, the olive is not good. Skip that. Huh. And here I thought it was going to be delicious. The capers might be really good on this, though. Nothing is going to be good on this. And you know what? I can't get the ding on it. This is horrible. She can't.

[00:39:56] Okay, guys, I wish we had a video podcast. I would love to be recording Carrie's face for you. Now, I'm not going to say anything, because if there's gagging and slurping of water and shoving of delicious food in her mouth, I want you to hear it all. I'm going to get real close so my microphone also picks it up. Are we ready? I will share with you that this is the smallest bite. I mean, there's no flipping tuna. It's a spaghetti noodle wrapped around the fork with a pearl onion in it. Wait, I'm getting a picture of that.

[00:40:25] This is what Carrie's eating. This does not quite seem fair. And you'll see the little sandwich bite in the background in her water. There we go. This doesn't seem fair. No. That's what you're going with? I took two bites, Carrie. You could do the same. But you don't hate all of the ingredients. Oh, that's true. Yeah. Okay, here we go. I'm going to stand real close. Hoosah. Deep breath. Hoosah. Hoosah. I can do this. I can do this. I mean, I might as well be bungee jumping here.

[00:40:55] Like, it's all I can do to get myself to put it in my mouth. Let's be honest. There is no tuna on that skeddy. There's tuna bits. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It was tuna adjacent. Oh. Oh, God. She's slurping down her water. Oh, my gosh. Oh, she's taking a bite of the little sandwich bin that she had. Her aftertaste.

[00:41:23] What was the worst part of the aftertaste for you? It was still there. Is it tuna? The tuna flavor? I'm going to go in for another bite. I kind of like the pearl onions in that. Yeah. Yeah. The pearl onion. Ah. You know how when you eat a food, I'm going to go like a dark red kidney bean. Okay. You bite into it, and it's got that crispy outer shell. Yeah, yeah. These are definitely crispy.

[00:41:50] The goosh on the inside, that's what the onion is. Flavorless, crispy, and cushy. For as much as she was mocking me. No. I like tuna. What is that brand of tuna I got? It's rank. It is rank. A little chunk like tuna in water. Dolphins. It's even dolphin safe. This is the rankest.

[00:42:19] It's because it didn't come out of the ocean. I swear to you, that tuna flavor, I've said it before and I'll say it again, is rank. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I thought for sure it would be edible. Did you? Uh-huh. I did. Fool. I was a fool. Fool. Well, I am very, very sorry, Carrie. You are not even a little sorry. You are sorry that you hated it.

[00:42:47] And now I have tuna onion breath. Oh, I can smell my own breath. Me too. And it is horrible. That's bad. I cannot go near anyone I even remotely care about. I know. Until I, do you have an extra toothbrush here? Mouthwash. I have some mouthwash. So, y'all, we're going to post this on our website. You're going to definitely want to run right over there and download this and make some for yourself because-

[00:43:15] Oh, Mary, I'm sorry, but this was not my favorite. And if you're going to do it for crying out loud, don't buy chunk light tuna on sale at Kroger for 98 cents. Oh, jeez. Oh, man. I mean, splurging by the albacore for crying out loud. I would encourage you also to just not put it in the recipe. I would skip out on the olives and the onions. Yeah. And just put chipped beef. Chipped beef and a cream sauce on Sketti.

[00:43:44] What could be better than that? Anything could be better than this. I am sick to my stomach. Oh, well, thank goodness that's it for this episode, Carrie. That's it for this season. Oh, no. That's the last piece of crap you're making me do this season. I'm so sorry. I'm going out for ice cream after this. You better. I think I need to come with you. Thank you so much for joining us for the episode known as Carrie's Torture Session.

[00:44:13] We are super, super excited about planning season five of the podcast. More Carrie Torture Sessions to come. Now, be sure to follow our social media for notices about when our next season will be coming out. In the meantime, check out our website for any of the recipes you found interesting this season, including this one. Oh, tuna in season five. Maybe. No.

[00:44:44] No. Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode, go to our website, momswoodenspoon.com. If you'd rather, check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. There's an interjections one. So when you're happy, hooray! Or sad. Aw. Or frightened. No. Eek! Or mad. Rats. Or excited.

[00:45:14] Wow. Oh my gosh. And glad. Hey! An interjection starts the sentence right. Are you kidding me? No. No.