The Big White Poo and a Picnic Loaf Too

[00:00:00] Kristen, how would you explain the shape of mashed potatoes? He he he, a big blob. Okay, and would you say that that's the correct answer? Like what, 99% of the time? Well, absolutely. Prepare to be wrong. Ooh. Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts. You can say that again.

[00:00:35] Hello, and we have a fun recipe prepared for you today. Oh boy, is it going to be fun? Okay, it comes from our golden box of recipes. Yes. That brought the tasty treat that was carrot souffle. Oh, Lord. Yep. Also nut loaf that actually was tasty. It was good. Yes. Yeah. Our choice for you today, my inner preteen boy is very excited to announce, is the potato salad log.

[00:01:05] Oh boy, oh boy. Yeah. Okay, so I will tell you that I did a Google search and I quote, did people in the 70s realize their log-shaped foods looked phallic? Is that what you searched for? That is what I searched for and AI answered. Oh, I love it when AI answers.

[00:01:25] So AI said, based on the cultural, culinary, and marketing trends of the era, the answer is a mix of mostly no regarding intentionality. Intentionality. And absolutely yes, regarding the subconscious or overt playful nature of the decade. Oh, it was a playful nature of the decade. So apparently the decade was so chock full of phallic symbolism that they didn't realize that they had just morphed it into their food as well.

[00:01:54] Wow. Well, that makes total sense. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Wow. So then I am not going to do an entire episode on phallic symbols. Thank you, Carrie. Thank you. But I did find one worth mentioning. Oh, okay. And then we'll get to this recipe. All right. Okay. It is a cereal called Prince of Thieves. Really? Yeah. It was released as a tie-in with the 91 movie Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Oh, yeah. Starring Kevin Costner.

[00:02:20] It was described on the box as a naturally fruit-flavored cereal with multicolored sprinkles. Ooh. Oh, that sounds fine. Yes, it does. But the issue is the cereal pieces were all in the shape of arrows. Oh, no. And when you bake an arrow shape, it spreads. There were pictures of people's boxes that they kept from 91 with the cereal. Oh, no. Goodness. So I guess it turns out that it's not just people in the 70s. That's right. 90s as well. Yes.

[00:02:50] Because who looked at that cereal and thought, oh, yes, let's serve this to children? I mean, we couldn't make it in the shape of like the... The thing that you shoot the arrow at. Oh, a target. Yes, a target. Or coins. A bag of coins. Right. Yes. Yeah. A feather. Yes. None of those things. No, no. Because you wore a feather in his face. Yeah. No. Had to be the arrow. Unbelievable. Okay. So this potato salad log. Oh, it is weird.

[00:03:19] I have to say is one of the most ingredient heavy recipes we have ever done. And we cheated. Yep. We bought pre-made potato salad. Well, we didn't. We bought pre-made mashed potatoes. Jim and the crickets. Of course we did. And people are saying mashed potatoes. Wait a minute. This is a potato salad log. Yeah. Yeah. Because it's mashed potatoes rolled around. Yeah. The fixings that you would normally put in a potato salad. Yes.

[00:03:48] So we are going to end up spreading mashed potatoes on a piece of foil. The other choice was a wet towel. Yum. Good luck cleaning that sucker off. So we're trying the aluminum foil, which is going to make a lot of noise. You spread the mashed potatoes out in a rectangle. And then you make the innards that would normally go in a potato salad. So sour cream, mayonnaise, pickle relish, celery, onion. Boiled egg. Hard boiled egg. Yeah.

[00:04:17] And even olives. Carrie's favorite. Yeah, I'm not excited about that. And you spread that oogie-googie stuff over the mashed potatoes. Roll it into a log shape. Jelly roll style. Yeah. And then chill it. Yep. And then delish. Slice and eat. Slice and eat. Oh, boy. I searched the interwebs. Yeah. For another potato salad log. Yeah. And I found exactly one. Uh-huh. I did too. Did you? Oh, yeah. And do I have a story about it?

[00:04:46] Oh, I just have a description of it. Okay. So, okay. So it seemed to me to be kind of a high-end potato salad. Oh. Yeah. So you have the potato salad. You have corned beef. Oh, that is not the one I found. Okay. Oh, wow. Caraway seed, lemon, mayo. What? Mm-hmm. And then after you get the whole thing in a log, you cover it with just plain mayonnaise. Oh, no. This one did have a dressing on the outside of it. I have to tell you this story. It's not a dressing.

[00:05:16] It's just plain mayonnaise. Oh, my gosh. This one may have had just plain mayonnaise. This one was so funny. Okay. That I have to share it with you and the listeners. It's from a blog that was about the potato salad roll that's similar to this log. But, yeah, it had a dressing on the outside of it that looked like mayonnaise. Okay. But I think they mixed other things in the mayonnaise. And here's what the blogger said. I think this recipe is awesome. Sadly, I'm currently alone in this. But I have a dream.

[00:05:44] And that dream is to bring the potato salad roll to the world. It's kind of a Swiss roll of potato salad. Basically, it's just potato salad rolled into a log with the dressing on the outside, which in no way explains the absolute spontaneous hatred my family felt for it when I brought it out for Christmas. The comments range from, what the F is that? Yeah. To, who laid the big white poo in the middle of the table? Thank you.

[00:06:12] I tried to explain that it was potato salad. But the comments ranged from, not in my world, to, no, it's not. Potato salad looks and is delicious. And again, that looks like a big white poo. And then there was, why can't you make normal potato salad? Are you on drugs? I saw a documentary on people taking ice. Do you have a problem with methamphetamines? Now, I saw the exact same documentary.

[00:06:39] And there was a man injecting himself in his no-no square with drugs. Oh, yay, yay. I made a slightly offbeat potato salad. I'm struggling to find the connection. I was the only person who ate the potato salad roll on Christmas Day, which was a real shame because despite its rather unconventional appearance, it was darn good. Oh, B, that is fantastic. Fantastic. So kudos to the blogger. Yes. Because, I mean, A, she had the guts to make it. Yes.

[00:07:09] And B, she stood by what she made. She did. She enjoyed the heck out of it. People were missing out not trying some of that big white poo on the table. I mean, yeah. So I feel like we, too, are going to create a big white poo. I think we are. Except our dressing is going to be on the inside. On the inside. Instead of the outside. Oh, my gosh. I will say that when I looked at my log with the corned beef and stuff, they used saran wrap to roll it.

[00:07:37] You know, I was thinking about pulling out saran wrap. It would have been less noisy. Yeah. It might have been, I just didn't know. It seemed to be better to me, the saran wrap. But we're going to try the foil because it was recommended and it's way better than the towel. Yeah. Well, louder, but less to launder. Yeah, absolutely. And now what we have to do is we have to take these mashed potatoes, which we cheated and bought the generic Bob Evans potatoes.

[00:08:03] And we have to put some mustard and some pepper in them. And then we're going to spread them. Right. Because, you know, the potato salad probably doesn't taste very good. No, dang nabbit. The mashed potatoes are plain. Probably do not taste very good. Yeah. So let's just put it up with some mustard. Did I say mayonnaise? You might have said mayonnaise. You know, I will not make fun of anybody. And just in case you are wondering, we are taking a quart of mashed potatoes. Yeah.

[00:08:32] And to make sure that it is flavorful and delightful, we are adding one teaspoon of mustard. And salt and pepper to taste. But I'm not going to add the salt because they are pre-made mashed potatoes and they probably have enough salt in them. Perfectly salted. We don't need that. Okay. Well, Carrie, I'm not sure if you're aware, but I found the 100% true origin story of potato salad online. Okay. 100% true. 100% no falsehoods here. Nope.

[00:09:01] And it says many of us don't know the history of potato salad, but it was actually first concocted by Ezra Bovine in 1899. Was Ezra Irish? No, but he was an Idaho potato farmer and irrigator for hire. Okay. He first served potato salad at the grand opening of the Twin Falls Bar and Grill. My mother's mother was there and recorded the event in her diary. Now, this is what I found. Not our mother's mother, but this person online. Yeah.

[00:09:28] Our mother's mother, I don't think ever went to middle of nowhere Idaho. That's right. Twin Falls Bar and Grill. Right. Okay. June 3rd, 1899. The diary entry. That drunk brother of mine showed up at the gala grand opening of the TFBG with a large bowl of mush. He called it potato salad. Of course, everyone there knew he just boiled some spuds, tossed in mayo and onions. He stole from his neighbor's garden and brang it so he could take advantage of the free beer potluck.

[00:09:56] It wasn't bad, but it could have used a dollop of mustard and relish. I like that Idaho has a distinct Southern accent. She said brang. And so I felt like I needed to brang the Southern accent. Yeah. Yeah. Did you like that? The new Idaho and Southern accent. Yeah. Did you enjoy that, Karen? I think that that's good. I mean, and lucky for us, we are in fact going to add mustard and relish. I mean, perfect. So our log is going to be better than old Ezra's. Thank you.

[00:10:25] Thank goodness. Right? No doubt. Okay. So mustard in the tater salad. Okay. There you go. I mean, in the mustard. I did it too. I know. Mustard in the mashed potatoes. The mashed potatoes. I think that's perfect. Okay. Well, I went down a whole world of Saran Wrap after I saw that log. Oh, wrapped in Saran Wrap. Oh, Carrie, there's got to be such interesting things about Saran Wrap. Not. You'd be surprised. Really? Yeah. Just so you know. Yeah.

[00:10:53] Saran Wrap first appeared in stores in 1953. Really? It was at the time the only material for storing food that could keep it fresh, black odors and withstand extreme temperature changes. Okay, I am going to now start putting the mashed potatoes on the foil. Okay. And if it interrupts what Carrie is saying, I'll just have to cut out her story. Right. Yeah. As we do. Yeah. And the other fascinating thing about 1953 Saran Wrap is green. Oh! All right.

[00:11:22] So, in 2004, Saran Wrap has been clearer, far less sticky, and less effective. It's very frustrating to use. Yes. The whole reason I got started on this is because, like, something happened to Saran Wrap. It doesn't stick to stuff. It sticks exclusively to itself. And oh boy, does it? Yes. Stick to itself. Okay, so there's a reason, actually. What?

[00:11:49] Yeah, the original formula contained something which was found to release toxic chemicals when it was burned. And because so much of our trash is incinerated, huge quantities of Saran Wrap was being burned, hazardous to the environment. Wow. And so the company decided on its own, knowing that this chemical was causing environmental issues, and knowing that it would make their Saran Wrap less effective and therefore they

[00:12:17] would lose sales, they decided to put the environment first. Wow! And just went ahead and changed their formula. And it turns out that S.E. Johnson, the company that makes Saran Wrap, has done this before. Really? They updated their Windex bottle. They made it thinner, saving a million pounds of waste per year. The plastic. They made the plastic thinner in their Windex bottles.

[00:12:42] They changed their pledge to an aerosol, which took out the chemicals. I am really shocked. I know. Eliminating six million pounds of toxic compounds from the atmosphere. That's really huge. They just did this on their own. So I started off, and I'm like, I got to find some good cheap old Saran Wrap that I can use because I'm not happy with what I have. Yeah. Now I'm in. I'm in. That's really neat. Companies just don't do that.

[00:13:13] No. No. So I found some Saran Wrap hacks. Oh. So if you too want to continue with the Saran Wrap brand. Yes. And you are also frustrated. Yes. Here are some things that you can do to try and make it work better. I'm so glad to hear this. Okay. So the first thing is, is if you use glass or ceramic versus plastic, it sticks far better. Oh, that is so true. Yeah. Plastic, it's terrible.

[00:13:40] Then if you run a damp cloth or paper towel around the edge of your bowl or container before you apply Saran Wrap. Oh. It sticks far better. I would not have thought of that. I know. Oh. And then, as you had mentioned, it sticks to itself. Yeah. If you store your Saran Wrap in the freezer, it reduces the static. So it makes it stick to itself far less. No. Uh-huh. I thought that was interesting. Fun ideas, Carrie. And like I said, the last thing is, is there's a proper technique to Saran Wrap. Oh, there is?

[00:14:10] So, yes, you make it wet, secure the side, pull it taut across the container. Yeah. And then make sure that there's enough overlap for a solid sink. Okay. So if you're not doing Saran Wrap right, you might want to. That's interesting. That's interesting. All on their own. Decided they wanted to help the environment and took out the stuff that made it the best. That's really cool. Well, this spread really easily. Then we have to get out another bowl and mix together our dressing.

[00:14:37] Yeah, we have to mix all together all the dressing stuff. And this recipe, the amounts, the quantities are just surprising. Yeah, they're weird. They are weird. Three ounces of cream cheese. Yeah. So now what are you going to do with the rest? Right? So the mayonnaise and the sour cream, that's fine. Yeah. Four hard-boiled eggs. No problem. Two tablespoons chopped onion. Two tablespoons celery and green pepper.

[00:15:05] The heck do you do with the rest of your celery? I know, Red. It's so wasteful. It's such a teeny, tiny amount. It is. Oh! I have the perfect idea. That scares the bejeebies out of me. Because your husband did not buy just onion, celery, and green pepper. He bought us a little box of what's called Trinity Mix. He did. And if you know anything about anything, and I'm sorry if you don't know this, I just made

[00:15:35] you feel bad. Yeah. They call onion, celery, and green pepper the holy trinity in Cajun cooking. That's why it's called the Trinity Mix. And I just read the weirdest thing about Louisiana and potato salad. Okay. Okay. Did you know that in Louisiana, some people put potato salad directly in their gumbo? Oh, that's appalling to me.

[00:16:01] Oh, they say that it's possible that this tradition came out of the need to stretch a pot of gumbo to feed as many people as possible. But people love this. There's one Louisiana chef that says if you're a true Cajun, it goes in. So while purists insist that it's culinary blasphemy, other Cajuns argue that a large scoop of cold mustard-based potato salad belongs directly in the hot spicy gumbo to provide a creamy cooling contrast.

[00:16:31] They also say that the mustard cuts through the richness of the gumbo. Ha. Some people just eat it on the side. You know, they'll order a side of potato salad with their gumbo. And some people, there are pictures online of a big scoop. And then there's a great debate. Do you put the rice in too? Is it rice and gumbo and potato salad? And some people say yes. And some people say they put the potato salad instead of the rice. Wow. Isn't that wild?

[00:16:56] So you could use all the leftovers from this potato salad log to make your gumbo. And then instead of having a blob of potato salad, you can have a slice. Oh my gosh. I mean, it comes full circle, doesn't it? I kind of feel like. Yeah. We now need to open a Cajun restaurant so that we can make this potato salad log in gumbo. How visually appealing is that going to be? How beautiful.

[00:17:25] I mean, watch out important chefs. Heck yeah. None of whom I can think of. None of whom. All you've needed is a potato salad log all this time. All this time. Wow. Isn't that a cool thing? That's weird. I'm so glad that your husband bought the Trinity mix because it made me think of this. You know, we could put it in the gumbo. He just didn't want to buy a full onion. Yeah. It feels so wasteful. It does. It does.

[00:17:54] And then it is really nice to have it pre-chopped. Oh my gosh. That's going to be great because I am going to be chopping the fresh parsley. We need two tablespoons. And then I have to chop the four eggs to go in. Yes. Kristen, put the cream cheese in there. We're going to do mayonnaise and sour cream. And I feel like that that is within my wheelhouse. It really is. Okay. So how much relish do we need, Carrie? Some. I need some. It doesn't say some. A tablespoon. A sweet pickle relish.

[00:18:23] That's what I got right here. Okay. Okay. You putting it in this little thing here? Sure. And you got all those eggs? The eggs are ready, but I was going to kind of hold off on the eggs a little bit because they're going to get all smashed up and stuff. So I thought we'd wait until I'm going to fold in the eggs. Okay. Okay. So now we have to do the Trinity mix. Do you want to do the Trinity mix? And I will start cutting the olives? Sure. But let me open the Trinity mix. Well, I was just going to totally lazy it up. Oh, yeah. And if it's two tablespoons of each, I was just going to do six tablespoons of that crap. Absolutely. Okay.

[00:18:53] We're used to that. Lazy mix. I can't open it up. My fingers are wet. There we go. Okay. That's for you. And then I am going to slice up the olives. Oh, some of Carrie's favorite foods are in here. Yeah. I was fine until we got to the olives. Yeah. How many olives do we need? These are giant olives. Should I kind of cut them in half then? Yes. So you don't get a big old bite? Goodness gracious. We need to cut them into like a little.

[00:19:21] Maybe I'll chop the olives instead of sliced. I love the fact that it is sliced stuffed olives. Oh. Stuffed Spanish queen olives with minced pimento. They're Spanish. Perfect. Perfect. One teaspoon of salt in that seems like a very much a lot. It does. Let's stick our finger in and taste it and see how salty it tastes. Okay. Go ahead. Okay. Get a gumdrops. By let's. I'll say Kristen.

[00:19:51] That seems salty enough. How much did you put? Just a half? I put a half a teaspoon. Oh, yeah. The half seemed like a lot. Yeah. But it says one teaspoon of salt in the mixture. I have flashbacks to the carrot souffle. I figure with the olives up in there. Yeah. That is plenty of salt. I agree. Okay. Agreed. We'll probably get to it and we'll be like, oh, this is not salty enough. We can always sprinkle a little salt on at the end. This seems like a heck of a lot of pepper as well. It does. All right. Stick your finger in.

[00:20:21] Not the same finger. Oh, it was the same finger. A little bit of me in every meal. Oh, that's so nice. Okay. I sneezed in it. So we're good. Okay. Let me see what we have to do now. Spread over the mashed potatoes and roll up like a jelly. Okay. That's it. All right. I'm going to start to spread. That's great. Good idea. If I may, before you get started, I would absolutely roll this in. Okay. Because how am I going to grip that? Okay. Now this is going to be a mess. I think it's going to oog everywhere. So I'm going to kind of push in the middle to help. Okay. Oh, yeah.

[00:20:51] It's coming out the sides hardcore. It's coming out the sides? It's going to. But is it going to come off the foils? The question. There you go. Yeah. That's what they do. You just got to push. Yeah, it is ooging. It's also rolling. It is rolling. Oh my gosh. It is a mess. I have to take a picture of this mess. Yeah. It's ooging out the sides. So note to self, when you do this, make sure you leave plenty of foil on either side of your roll. Yeah.

[00:21:20] Because it's going to, you know, as you roll, it's pushing out. I ruined the picture. I took it away. She did. Yep. I'm sorry. This is what she's doing this time. Just ruining it all. Massive log ruin. It looks awful. It is the ugliest thing of all time. Okay. I'm just going to leave it like that. Tuck it in and we'll just refrigerate it and see what happens. Oh, this is a mess. Okay. So then they say that you have to refrigerate it for at least an hour. And there's no joke about that. Oh no.

[00:21:49] It's just sloppity. It is just a mess of, I don't even know. Look at that. All right. We have a log. It's a log-ish. It is something. Wow. It is. Okay. Okay. So while we go to put this in the refrigerator, I have put together a fabulous treat for you all. Oh, I cannot wait to hear it. I scoured the internet. Yes.

[00:22:12] And I have come up with a meal for you to serve your friends and family entirely log-shaped. Oh, I can't wait to hear it. Okay. Come on back. Okay. Okay. So obviously part of the meal is the potato salad log. Yes. Okay. So we have to have an appetizer and I found a delicious looking Velveeta stuffed cheese log. Oh my. This is from the 80s.

[00:22:38] And just so you know kind of how you would make this, is you're going to take some room temperature Velveeta. Okay. And you're going to cut the cheese into slices and place it on plastic wrap. Then using a rolling pin, you're going to roll out the base. So you want to smoosh all that cheese together. Oh, okay. Okay. So that you just have a giant layer of one giant piece of Velveeta. That makes sense. Okay. And on that, you're going to spread some cream cheese, green chilies, black olives. Oh. Oh yeah.

[00:23:08] And then you are once again, going to roll that sucker up. Yeah. And place it in the fridge to chill overnight. This person rolls it also in fresh parsley or salted nuts and goes on to say there's never any leftovers. I can't fathom Velveeta cream cheese, olives and green chilies in a roll. It's the Velveeta.

[00:23:37] I would enjoy the cream cheese, the olives and the green chilies, I think. Nope. But with the Velveeta on the outside. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay. So then we're going to move on to the salad. And I have to say, I am so excited about what I found for the salad. Oh, okay. It's a log? It is. And if you do not have plans for dinner tonight or tomorrow, you need to plan on this. Yeah. This is a Hellman's recipe. It's old. It definitely looks like the 70s.

[00:24:05] It is called cranberry candle salad. Oh. Yeah. It's a cranberry. You take cranberry sauce. It's a cranberry. It is. Yeah. You take cranberry sauce and you add in some jello and then you add in mayo and nuts. Oh. And then you pour them into fruit juice cans to chill so that they are candle-shaped. Mm-hmm. Then you have to very delicately release your concoction from the cans. Yes.

[00:24:33] And you garnish with mayo to taste. Oh. Not sure about that. But the piece de resistance is you take a birthday candle and you cut it super short and you stick it into the top of your jello mold. Yeah. And voila. It burns like a candle. Unbelievable. Well, you know what?

[00:24:55] In a few months, you wouldn't be able to make those anymore because Minute Maid has just announced they're doing away with all of their frozen juice drinks. So you better go out and buy some now. Yeah. Save up. Yeah. Because, I mean, I really, I was thinking that this is just a holiday delight. It is. What screams holidays more than cranberries and candles? And we're calling that a log because it's log-shaped. Correct. Even though it's a can. Right, right, right. Yeah. But, you know, it's made in a can. Yeah, I get it. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

[00:25:25] So the next one to go with our potato salad is a chicken salad log. And not just any chicken salad log. A festive chicken salad log. Yes. Okay. Our chicken salad is made with cream cheese and mayonnaise. This is really the best part. Yeah. So you make your chicken salad, which sounds very dry. Uh-huh. And then you make it into a log. Then you take some slices of green pepper. Okay. And you open the rings on one side and you use them around the log. Oh, my.

[00:25:53] So now we've divided our chicken log. Oh, yes. Into sections via these green peppers. And then you get to decorate your log with things like black olives, onion, sesame. So each section of your log as separated by the green peppers has its own beautiful look. That's gorge. I mean. That is gorge. Who's not going to see that served and go, wow. I need me some of that. Wow. Yeah.

[00:26:22] I would like to eat some of the pimento section. Yeah. Please. Or pimento. One of the two. Either one. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It is called frozen yule log. Okay. That's how I know it's dessert because it's frozen. Oh, okay. Yeah.

[00:26:52] Oh, yeah. So miracle whip. Frozen miracle whip. Okay. So you're going to take slices of pineapple. Okay. Miracle whip. Mm-hmm. Honey. So it's sweet. Oh, God. Maraschino cherries chopped up. Mm-hmm. Almonds toasted and heavy whipping cream. Oh, boy. Mm-hmm. So you're going to mix the miracle whip, the honey, the whipping cream together. Uh-huh. You're going to add in your maraschino cherries. You are going to, in a coffee can. Oh, this is a big log. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[00:27:21] You are going to put down a little bit of your mixture and then a ring of pineapple. Oh, oh, you're building it. Oh, yeah. Continue on. Freeze that sucker. Again, carefully figure out how to release it from your coffee can. Yeah. And roll it in your toasted nuts. Oh, wow. It actually is beautiful. Is that a visual delight? Now, if you don't slice it perfectly between the rings of pineapple. It's going to look bootlegger.

[00:27:50] It's going to ruin the whole thing. It's going to smush. Yeah. That sounds fine if they had used cool whip instead of miracle whip. Well, it's a miracle whip recipe. So there you have it, people. You have some friends coming over. Yeah. This coming weekend. Yes. You need a little Velveeta cheese long. Wow. Yeah. A lot of really great options. Well, I came up with some options for a picnic, Carrie, that I thought that you might enjoy.

[00:28:16] They're not all log shaped, but they are probably, no, most definitely weirder than our potato salad log. Okay. Okay. I found one. So you guys, maybe you need to call in and vote. Oh, I think I can put a voting thing on our podcast. So I'm going to put a vote. Which one of these tasty log or non-log shaped items would you prefer to eat? Or would you prefer we make? Yeah.

[00:28:45] I mean, we could make the Yule log. We totally could. Or we could make, we totally, I'm so excited. Yeah. We totally could make this picnic recipe. Okay. It's called tuna mackerel picnic loaf. Oh. You hollow out a loaf of unsliced bread. Oh my gosh. I saw this. You mix tuna and mackerel with gelatin. Yes.

[00:29:12] And other tuna salad ingredients and frozen peas and carrots. Mm-hmm. And shove it into the hollowed out loaf and chill for a couple hours. You just slice and eat along with a slice of potato salad log. Mm-hmm. Doesn't that sound good? No. Oh. Mackerel. I might even be able to do the tuna. No. With the gelatin? No. No, no, no. And the peas. Like really. Oh yeah, you would hate that. There's just nothing about that.

[00:29:40] But I mean, I saw it and you can't, you can't tell. It just looks like you took a loaf of bread on a picnic. It does. And then surprise, there's mackerel in here, everybody. Now just note to self when you do this, don't get sliced bread. Exactly. But it looks like a loaf of white bread, like bunny bread. That's what it looked like. Yeah. But it wasn't a fancy French loaf. Nope. Nothing like that. Just a loaf of unsliced bunny bread. Unsliced white bread. Yeah. And then you sliced into it and kapow. Toot-a-tun. Mm, mackerel.

[00:30:10] Hit you in the angelo. Oh my gosh. I'm starting to think that, angelo. I'm starting to think that this potato salad log is not so gross. I found a delightful recipe for a potato salad that is probably worse. It's called party potato salad. Oh, well that's gotta be fun. Well, you put your favorite potato salad in a loaf pan and then you unmold it and pour plain gelatin mix with chicken broth and mayo all over it. What?

[00:30:40] De-de-de-de. How does that work? So, hold on just a moment. Okay. Okay. So, I'm totally stumped by this. Yeah. So, we take our salad. Potato salad, yes. We put it in a loaf pan. Right. And then you unmold it. So, I'm sure it's going to keep the shape of the loaf pan. Right. So, it's roughly rectangular. Yeah. Blob. Yes. And then you take some, you heat up some jello. Yep. Liquid gelatin. Liquid gelatin.

[00:31:04] Just plain gelatin that has been liquided down with chicken broth and add mayo. And so, then you take this. I think that might have been like the big white poo that she made. That's gotta be worse than the big white poo. Probably. With the broth, it's going to be slightly tan. Oh. And then, but so it theoretically then clings to the top. It doesn't just all schlop to the sides. No, I think it schlops to the sides too. It's all frosted. It looks beautiful in the picture.

[00:31:32] They have lovely decor on the outside of it, like sliced olives and carrots. Okay. So, I'm thinking maybe, like, again, because I watch a lot of Great British Bake Off. Yeah. They do these mirror glazes on their cakes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do there's a gelatin in it? Yeah. Okay. It's a real thick gelatin. Yeah. And then you pour it over and it sits on the top of the cake and then pours down and it sticks and it looks beautiful. Yes. I don't think that this, though, I don't think potato salad is going to keep the shape of a loaf. Maybe you have to chill it? Probably.

[00:32:02] And then that would help make the gelatin get cold fast enough. But then I found another one. Oh, my gosh. Another one. Stop. And this sounded delightful. It's called Mystery Salad from 1977. No good recipe ever. No. Is a mystery. No. Remember, didn't we do an It's a Mystery Cake that had beets in it? Oh, it was a surprise. It's a surprise. Yeah. I was thinking of like mystery meat. Oh, true. Yeah. Okay. So it sounds exactly like potato salad.

[00:32:29] It has mayo, mustard, celery, sliced green onions. But instead of potatoes, you boil unpeeled green bananas for 10 to 12 minutes and then peel, dice, and use them just like potatoes. And it says to serve at warm or at room temperature. Do not refrigerate. Potato salad made with boiled green bananas.

[00:33:02] No, it's from one of those recipe books where they're trying to make weirdo stuff from their product. It's from the Dole Banana Company. Oh. So it's the recipe little booklet is called the Dole Banana Bananza. So really, they want you to... Okay. Okay. So. Yeah. Okay. So they want you... I'm having a hard time with this one. They want you to go to the grocery store and just buy... I'm like, we're not talking like fancy... Plantains or anything. No, no. Just green bananas.

[00:33:32] Super crazy, unripe bananas. Yes. And then you boil them. Oh. Oh boy. And you use them in a potato salad. Now the booklet also contains such winners as Mexicali chicken salad, which is cooked chicken, fresh mushrooms, and sliced bananas on top of iceberg lettuce drizzled with a Mexicali dressing, which is basically a vinaigrette with green chilies in it. Oh, goodness.

[00:33:58] Or fruited minute steaks, which are basically steak that the butcher has pounded the heck out of. Okay. And then... I thought you were going to tell me it was bananas. No, but it's topped with tomatoes and bananas boiled in beef bouillon. Oh. Oh, I can't... Oh, I cannot see how this helped sell bananas. I can't see how anybody would want that.

[00:34:24] Why didn't they just put like banana bread and a frozen banana covered in chocolate? Those sound so good. Or even get out your old dehydrator and make banana chips. Yes. You know what? When we said, you guys, that if you voted that we might make one of these? I think I've changed my mind. Oh, this makes mine seem like delicious. I know. If you pick one of Kristen's, I'm out. If you pick one of mine... Yeah. ...we'll discuss. Okay.

[00:34:54] That sounds good. Holy mackerel. Oh. Those sound bad. Those sound terrible. Oh, just see what I did there. Yeah, that was funny. So shall we head out and sit and relax and wait on this log? I think four days and 22 hours later, we will have a slice of olive loaf. No. It's called potato salad log. Yeah. With olives. See you soon.

[00:35:34] So the refrigerator has worked its wonders. Maybe not. Maybe not. And we have a blob of potato salad log. So what we did before we came back... Yeah. ...was try to take the log off the cutting board that it was laying on the last little bit of aluminum foil and get it onto a serving dish. Kristen tried two spatulas and it just kind of...

[00:36:03] It was awful. In the end, we kind of tipped the cutting board over the serving dish. And pulled the aluminum foil out and it... ...we'll move over. So we have one side that's beautiful and smooth. Yeah. And one side that's all torn up. And yeah. Okay. There's no cutting this into a slice. I'm going to try. Right? But you know what I think I'll do later when I serve the leftovers to my family?

[00:36:29] I am going to just plop it all in a bowl and put a spoon with it because it is just not logging. No. I mean, okay. So let's think of mashed potatoes. Yeah. In the refrigerator. Yeah. How hard do they get? I mean, not that hard. And then let's add in a boatload of sour cream and mayonnaise. Yeah. This would have had to have been in the fridge for at least overnight, I think, for it to be any more solid. What? And even then, how mashed potatoes don't get that hard. That's true. I don't know.

[00:36:59] I don't know. I don't know. Have I mentioned that I don't know? Really don't know. What I do know is that the little bits that we ate were not for the nasty olive. We're not bad at all. No. Okay. Here I'm going to slice. Oh, it doesn't even... It just mashes. It's just a potato mash. Oh, let me take a beautiful picture. It's not even... It's just a blob. Yep. Let me show you a beautiful picture of the end of the roll.

[00:37:28] The striations. I mean, it does not look like a jelly roll. It just looks like a blob of... It does. White with white. And how would you have known? Because it's white with white. Yeah. I don't know. This is something. Okay. Well, while you stare at it speechlessly, I am going to try and avoid all the olives. Okay. Carrie's going to take... Oh, and I'll take her olives. I did put three pretty, pretty sprigs of parsley on the top to make the log look so gorge. It really made all the difference. It totally did.

[00:37:59] Wow. I think it would require some good old gelatin to make it, you know, hold together. Without the olives. Yeah. Yeah. It's just a nice, very soft potato salad. You know, I have had what's called Brazilian potato salad before. We've had it at those Brazilian steakhouses that you go to. Yes. And it is delicious. And it is made more with a mashed potato type of potato.

[00:38:28] Maybe there's a little chunk of potato, but mostly it's mashed potato. And I think in the Brazilian one, they even put like frozen vegetables too. Carrie wouldn't like the peas and carrots, but I'm assuming it's going to taste exactly the same. It does. I enjoy potato salad made out of mashed potatoes. The log is superfluous. There's absolutely no reason for it. It's bootleggy. Oh, it's delicious. The egg in there. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So good. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:38:55] But quite frankly, just mix that crap together in a bowl and forego the log shape. Can you imagine? Have we tried to roll this in a towel? No. A damp towel? And then adding more dampness to this? That would be just... That would be horrible. Weird. That would be horrible. I mean, this tastes really, really good. It is going to ruin my log meal. Mm-hmm. Because now our side is just a blob. Yeah. That's kind of disappointing.

[00:39:24] It's in the shape of a log. Ish. Yeah. Kind of. The one side is good. The other side has all the innards squishing out. They squished out and I was not willing to let them go. So I flopped them on the top, much to carry chagrin. I will say, if you're going to do the log, here's my piece of advice. Okay. On your aluminum foil. Yeah. A, don't use a wet dish towel. What? Ridiculous. On your aluminum foil, give yourself like three inches of room. Yeah. For where the mashed potato ends and the aluminum foil ends. Mm-hmm.

[00:39:54] And then at both ends of the aluminum foil, give yourself like three or four inches of aluminum foil. Yeah. Before you start the mashed potato mixture. Because I think maybe you could then kind of use the aluminum foil a little bit better to keep the, hold the ends in. Yes. Yes. And maybe if we had wrapped it all up and put it in the freezer. Sure. Maybe, but then it would, you can't have it hard. You have to eat it. Certainly the hour that they told us is. Oh, subpar. Absolutely subpar. Yeah.

[00:40:24] I mean, honestly, though, when I got those bootleg Bob Evans mashed potatoes, they're hard as a rock, really, before you heat them a little bit. I had to heat them to be able to stir them. True. But they weren't warm when we put them on the foil. I don't know. I can't imagine that a teaspoon of mustard liquefied them enough. No. But I mean, I've had Bob Evans mashed potatoes. I've heated them up. I put them in the refrigerator. I've pulled them out the next day. They are not as hard as they were originally. That is so true.

[00:40:53] You scoop it out because I'll eat a blob of cold mashed potatoes. I'm not above that. And they're not hard as a rock. I don't know. Maybe it's because we didn't make our own. Ah, that's probably. It was the lack of homemade mashed potatoes that ruined everything. Oh, Carrie. We ruined it by being bootleg and trying to take shortcuts. That's always the problem. Never take shortcuts when it comes to something in a log.

[00:41:22] And I feel like that is your takeaway for today. Never take shortcuts when it comes to making a log of food. That's it. Yeah, that's it. Thank you for hanging with us in our kitchen. With our log. And our log. If we made you smile, laugh, or just simply exhale a little, go ahead and subscribe. And do not miss our last episode of the season. I can't believe it. I know.

[00:41:50] It's coming out on May 18th. Yep. And it is an old Italian favorite. I'm totally kidding. I am pretty sure it's going to be nasty. We go gag. Go big or go home. Or both, as this case may be. Bye. Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode,

[00:42:18] go to our website, momswoodenspoon.com. If you'd rather, check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. Hi, everybody. This is Kristen. I wanted to remind you to fill out the survey attached to this podcast about which log-shaped treat or ghastly salad you would like to see Kristen and Carrie make next season. If you don't see a survey, just email your choice of

[00:42:46] A, Velveeta's Stuffed Cheese Log, B, Craft Miracle Whip Pineapple Yule Log, C, Mystery Salad Made With Green Bananas, or D, Cranberry Candle Salad. To momswoodenspoon1 at gmail.com. That's momswoodenspoon1 at gmail.com.