A January 2026 Miracle, Oh Never Mind

Episode Transcript for Sauerkraut Balls

You know, Carrie, they say that fermented foods are really good for your gut. Do they help you lose weight? My gut needs lots of help. Great. I think you'll really feel healthy after today's episode. What did you do? Did you ferment something? I guess you'll have to wait and find out. I'm out of here.

Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts. You can say that again.

Hey everybody. Hello. On this episode, we are back to making regional specialties. Yes, I'm excited. Today, our region is da da da Akron, Ohio. Do we know where Akron is? Um, yes, I kind of do. Yes, but you know, more importantly, I know that Akron, Ohio is the rubber capital of the world. Well, thank goodness. I wondered where that was. Yeah. Yeah. So, we will not be cooking rubbery blubbery steak in a brown paper bag. Aww, that's disappointing. I know, right? But we will be making sauerkraut balls. Ooh, we do like a good ball. We do. And I did not ferment this sauerkraut all by myself. Even though I found that many, many people do online. They make their own sauerkraut. You can buy little kits to help you with your fermentationing. It might smell. So, oh, you know, your husband makes kimchi at home. He does. And he eats it and it Yeah. Smelly Yummy. but Delicious. All right. You know what kimchi smells like after you've had it too long and it goes bad? No. Oh, you don't want to. Oh, boy. We might be schmelling a little bit of that today, but sauerkraut balls have been a staple in Akron, Ohio since the 1960s. Yeah, I was looking up stuff. Only people who live in Akron, Ohio know these things. Yeah. And obviously I did not understand most of what I read except it referenced sauerkraut balls. Wild. Yes. You know how sometimes we do these and it's like everyone in Northwest Ohio knows and we're like, I've never heard of that before. Right. But no, I mean I think this is really something. And if you're an Acroniter Acronomical,

I don't know. That's great. Maybe if you live in Akron. Um I think you really know even if you don't eat them. Well, yeah. The sauerkraut ball and rubber. Obvious. Obvious. I even talked to our dad and he said, "Oh, yeah. I've had sauerkraut balls." I said, "In Akron." He goes, "I don't remember, but I guess I've had them. I'll be darned. Okay. So, it's really a thing. Yeah. Yeah. And he said, "Actually, they're way less sauerkrauty than you would think." Good. Yeah. Yeah. This recipe is actually from 2003. Okay. And it was published in the Akron Beacon Journal. Fantastic. Does the Akron Beacon Journal exist today? Do we know? Um, I think it might. Okay. Very impressive. Yep. It comes from Chef Dick Mansfield at the Old Bavarian House restaurant which closed in, as far as I could tell, 1986. So when they published this in 2003, he had not in fact been working at the old Bavarian Gast House or whatever it was called for quite some time. Just Bavarian house. Oh no, he had not. Then probably somebody was jonesing for some sauerkraut balls and he's like ooh ooh I got this recipe. Yeah. Okay. So this sauerkraut ball recipe is very interesting. I was reading online that you can vary the type of meat that you put in it. Okay. Some people use like a breakfast sausage and some people I think maybe even use just ground pork but we are using ground ham. Oh, I would have preferred sausage. I think I might have too, but you know, I mean, like snausage and sauerkraut, that's a thing. They go together. Well, actually. Oh, no. She just actuallyed me. Actually, let me school you, Carrie. I am going to But you know this already. According to German traditions, eating pork and sauerkraut on New Year's Day brings you health and wealth and good luck all year. Yes. Yes. And so I actually looked it up because we're a little bit past New Year's Day, but they said it'll still give you a little bit of wealth and health. Eat it in January. More Carrie type wealth. You'll find $5 on the street. $20 in your coat pocket. That's the best thing. Yeah. Have I told you I used to do this? So when I lived in Ohio and you would wear a winter coat, I would purposefully leave $10 in the winter coat. Yeah. So that the next season when I put the coat on, I would find $10. That's nice. It is such an amazing feeling to find that money in your coat pocket. It was my money. I was purposefully giving it to myself. Hilarious. You just hope you didn't donate the coat to Goodwill by accident. I knew I did it. So I would always check the pockets. Smart. Okay, back to the recipe. Well, the things that matter. Okay. So, we're going to mix ground ham, garlic, pepper, cayenne, and I need to back up for just a second. Okay, so we're past New Year's. Yeah, we're having sauerkraut and ham, not sauerkraut and sausage. So, we lose a lot of luck. It's sauerkraut and pork of any kind because Okay. Okay. Good. Pork symbolizes progress and prosperity because pigs root forward. That's who How did you know that farmer Kristen? Well, Farmer Kristen looked it up on the Googles. Wow. Look at that. I know. And then the sauerkraut symbolizes long life, wealth, and good health because cabbage was a hearty, abundant winter crop and also because, you know, of the gut health of these probiotics in the fermented cabbage and because cabbage is green and symbolizes the money. Interesting. So they were very concerned about their microbacteria in their gut health back in the 1800s. I amused the ever loving crap out of myself in preparation for this recipe. Oh, did you now? And I thought, you know, as I mentioned earlier, we do a lot of ball recipes here. Sadly, we do. Uhhuh. And we have laughed repeatedly about the ball recipes. Yes. And I just wanted that tradition to continue here with the sauerkraut balls. You don't think people are sick of us laughing about balls? Do people ever get sick or other I mean like at heart we all are just teenage boy sense of humors. That's true. Sometimes they evolve a little bit. Most the times not so much. Not so much. This is why you know getting kicked in the nards videos are hilarious. See you're laughing. It's cuz they're funny. Every time they're funny. The little skateboard guy who lands on that pipe right in the no no square. We're all laughing. We're all laughing. Right in the no no square. So all I Well, not all but I really spent a lot of time researching ball jokes. No, you didn't. No, I did. And because it's winter, I have some winter ball jokes. Let's start with one, shall we? Well, we shall. Why doesn't a snowman wear snow pants? I don't know, Carrie. Why? Cuz his snowballs are too big. Inappropriate. Carrie, there's more. What the Yeah. Oh, yeah. You won't want to listen to this with your children. Not safe for work again, but this time because of Carrie. It's all my fault. I'm so excited. I'm gonna try and pace myself. I think you probably should. People are like, "Oh my gosh, please let her move on." It'll make it easier for Kristen to edit them all out. Once again, this recipe for crying out loud. I'm sick of the dad jokes.

Okay, speaking of dads, how how does Chuck Norris play golf? I don't know how he stares at the ball and the ball goes into the hole to hide. That's funny. That's cute. Okay. Are we Are we going to move on now for a little bit? No. No Yes, we are. Yeah, let's move on. I'll just keep hitting you with them. So excited. Oh, you're so rude. Okay. I must have 30 of these suckers . Oh my gosh. Well, Carrie, back to the balls here. I think we should probably cut this recipe in half because here's what the original recipe contains. 1 and 1/4 pounds of ground ham, six eggs, five lbs of sauerkraut, and four to six cups of flour. It makes 96 balls. Yeah, I noticed the makes 96 balls, and I thought, huh, that's a lot. So, I think I think uh cutting it in a quarter would have worked as well, but I have great. Didn't we make ham balls along? We did. We did. They were actually tasty. Were they? Yeah. It was like Yeah. Wasn't there like Was there a mustard dip or did we do that for something else? We made mustard dip. Well, just recently we did. Yeah, cuz we went last season we went willy-nilly and made that yummy mustard dip for spinach balls. Yes. That was good. It was good. You know what? Speaking of dip. Oh, are you going to call me names? No. Oh, okay. Good. I did that last episode, I think. No, no. Sugar cream pie episode. I think I called you lots of names. That was mean. That was just mean. So, I was looking up sauerkraut balls and as I read it, it said it always comes with a creamy dip. And I was looking at our recipe. I'm like, well, there ain't no creamy dip on this recipe. And so then I thought, well, what type of creamy dip do you use? Mustard dip might be good, right? No, no, no. Apparently, most people serve it with Russian dressing. Okay. The creamy Russian dressing is very much like thousand island dressing. Okay. But it does not have something that you probably don't like. Pickle relish in it. Oh, I do love the pickle relish. Oh do you? I mean, it's like McDonald's special sauce. Yummer. Uh, yeah. But you're going to like something even better. Most Russian dressings don't have the pickle relish, but they do have something spicy in it. They have horseradish or chili sauce. We're doing horseradish. Yeah, we are. Yay. So, if you're okay with making the Russian dressing, I think all balls need a dip. That was not one of the jokes, people. That was just me talking. Got halfway through it, realized what I was saying. Gosh. But I do think it's true cuz I, you know, could be dry. They can. Sorry about the crinkle. Oh, god. It didn't mean that. I know. This is why we laugh every time we make the balls. Oh, lordy. Well, I'm just going to chop the onion while we're talking because we have to add in finely minced onion into the balls and into Russian dressing. So, I figured I'll just get started on that. That's going to take a long time. I really appreciate is that she has not asked me to help in any way, shape, or form. Are you kidding me? I know my sister. Finely, mince, please. Okay. So, I wanted to cut this very finely, but it requires concentration. Yet, I am afraid that in doing so, Carrie will tell us more ball jokes. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I have some stuff that I could talk about. Yeah, but I don't want you to hurt yourself. This is me caring about you. Gee, thanks. Uhhuh. No problem. Okay, so let me find a good one. Oh, boy. Um, let's see. Oh, I have a a story. Oh, a story. Yes. Okay. A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful blonde. Yeah. Okay. We'll pause on the story. For this to be funny, the person that this man sits down to does not need to be beautiful nor blonde. Oh. So, you can replace that individual with anybody that you want. Okay. Okay. The puzzled blonde slash brunette/ anybody you want. Yes. Yes. Kept looking at him in his bulging pockets. Oh gosh. Finally, after many side glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls." Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, thinking deeply about what he had said. After several minutes, unable to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis, elbow?" Oh no, that's funny. One of my favorite. Speaking of golf balls, that's exactly how people described these um sauerkraut balls. They said that they need to be about the size of a golf ball. Okay, this is the description. Sauerkraut balls are golf ballsized morsels of sauerkraut and protein. Ham, bratwurst or sausage. ooh bratwurst sounds good. Breaded and deep fried, then served with a creamy sauce. Oh well, cuz that's what you do. Yeah. So, I had told you that I had seen in the if you live in Akron, you'll understand these things website that I did not understand. They mentioned sauerkraut balls as I said. Yeah. And Jojos. Jojos. Yeah. Specifically, what it said is sauerkraut balls and Jojos are basic food groups. What? What's that? Is a JoJo a food or a place? It's a food. Okay. I looked it up. I went and it down, which is really unusual. That is so rare. So, I can Oh my gosh. Wait a minute. This is like a January 2026 miracle. Yes. I'm going to reference something and follow it up with detailed information. Oh my gosh. Your New Year's wish has already started to come true. I think it's a turning point. I'm sure it's not. I am sure we will find something else that I did not research thoroughly. It's just the beginning, Kristen. That's true. Give me time. Give me time. Okay, so Jojos, you're going to be so disappointed really when you hear what they are. They are thick cut seasoned potato wedges. that are breaded and pressure fried until they are crispy on the outside and tender and fluffy on the inside. But wait, I have more facts. Okay. And I was going to ask you what pressure fried was, but then I didn't want to ruin the whole Carrie did enough research. I absolutely did not look up I knew it. What the heck? No, but I did look up the origin of the the Jojo. Yes. Okay. So, Jojos originated in the mid 20th century in either the Pacific Northwest or the Midwest. I found this park to be quite fascinating. Okay. So, these Jojo are very popular in Oregon and Akron, Ohio. What? Yeah. How did that happen? I want to know. Must be family members. I I know it. It was family members. Family members who lived in Akron and moved to Oregon. Okay, that could be it. Yep. Yep. That's it. Or maybe they lived in Oregon and moved to Aroan. Probably not. We're owning this crap in Akron Ohio. Woohoo. OH  IO. Okay. Oh, she's such a sports fan. You know what? That happened one time to me before I I actually realized what it was and uh I think I was wearing an Ohio State shirt and somebody said, "OH," and I was like, "Yeah, Ohio."

Oh, that's awesome. Pathetic

Okay, so more about this Pacific Northwest Midwest. They were created by a pressure fryer salesman. Come on. You didn't even look at what it was. Are you freaking kidding me? So, okay, Kristen, let's think this through. Okay. How much cooking do I do? Well, yeah. I didn't know that not everybody knew what a pressure fryer was. I just assumed it was a thing that all the people knew about. Give me a second, everybody. So, I'll finish my story. You Google it. So, I think this was really interesting. He would fry potato wedges to clean the oil between cooking demonstrations. But customers started to adore them and that's how they became a thing. That is really cool. Yeah. In Oregon or Ohio, because they're so close. Yeah. Yeah. So close. Oh, well, okay. They're basically exactly what you just said. A pressure fryer is pressurized frying. It's like a um It's like what are those called? Pressure cooker. Pressure cooker. It's a pressure cooker with oil inside. It's like a pressure fryer. It is pressure fryer. It's a pressure cooker with oil inside basically. So you could just take your pressure cooker. Yeah. And make yourself I don't I'd be real scared to try that. Oh my gosh. Ya if you took the lid off and the oil went Oh, that would be bad. That would be like the molten lava jello that came flying out of the blend. would be worse. Oh, it would be. Yeah. Well, I don't know. It wouldn't stick things to your mantle. I haven't seen No, you get grease stains all over your kitchen. Can you imagine grease stains on your ceiling? Oh, no. That would be awful. I like to Oh, no. No. Oh, no. Okay. In a very large bowl, combine ham, eggs, garlic, pepper, and onion. Okay. So, here goes the onion. Now, we have to um Well, moving on to things that matter. And we're done. And we're done. That was boring. Carrie is so boring. Carrie, can I do anything to help? We need three eggs. Three eggs, please. Here, do the task that gets you out of my way. Okay, Mom. So, I can tell some good stories. Well, I was actually going to tell you that I read an article online about sauerkraut balls and what, you know, Akron residents actually truly thought about them. Oh, okay. Yes. Actually, there was a very famous person who tried them and I was shocked. I didn't know how on earth this happened. It was Robin Leach from Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. He tried them. Ah, cuz he was visiting Akron. I didn't even say it. Didn't even say. And I didn't research further. I pulled a Carrie. I like it. Okay. And when he tasted a sauerkraut ball, he said, "Uh, it's very Akronn." Snap. Snippety Snap Robin

What a snob. Wow. Wow. Very Akron. Very Akron. I mean, if you call yourself the rubber capital of the world. I mean, how high can our expectations be? That's right. Champagne. No. Caviar. No. Sauerkraut balls. Oh my gosh. I'm squeezing the heck out of this sauerkraut. I mean, her arms are shaking. She's going to wake up tomorrow and be like, "My arms and shoulders are so sore. I don't know why. My forearms are going to look like Popeye." Um, anyway, they also, I'm sure it was the Akron Bacon Journal, interviewed Akronites. What did you say? Acron Acronomicals.

And here's what they had to say. Okay. Acronomicals were asked if they liked sauerkraut balls. and they just shrugged and said that it wasn't really a matter of enjoyment so much as just inevitability. So, they kind of Robin Leached the answer. They really did. However, they did say that sauerkraut balls are to Akron as buffalo wings are to buffalo and Philly sandwiches are to Philly. Okay. Well, I mean, that's pretty much what I saw other than the fact that they suck. So, I'm really glad that we now know that. I should have had that information before we picked this recipe. So, how about as I squeeze all this sauerkraut and my hands are getting all gooky. How about if you add the seasoning to the ham and the onion that's in the bowl. You want me to do something? Yeah. Here's the spices. This is so exciting. I'm going to jack it up. I know it. I know you are. Yeah. It's going to be a fiasco like the fudge topping for the bumpy cake. Probably. I had to move the recipe cuz it's kind of aimed at Kristen and I can't see it. I mean, who else should it be aimed at? The one who does the stuff. All right. Pepper and the garlic and the We're putting cayenne. This is not a typical Midwest recipe. This is fancy. Fancy and spicy. Okay. So, oh, we also have to do eggs. I can add them. I just got them out. Oh, great. Okay. Oh, this is going to ding cuz this is a ginormous metal bowl that works much like a bong. 

Oh, I peed my pants. I wish it worked like a bong. This would be a much tastier. I'd eat the crap out of these. I'd eat the crap out of these. Okay, so um back to the metal bowl that is a lot like a gong. Dang it, Carrie. I was so excited. You ruined everything. We're making 96 sauerkraut balls and we're going to eat them all. So, we do ham, egg, garlic, peppers. It's just pepper. It's just pepper. I don't know why it said black pepper. Okay. Oh, I know why it says peppers, cayenne, and black. Oh, I see now. So, it is in fact all of the spices. Yeah, just why they didn't just say all the spices. Yeah. I don't know. Trying to make it difficult on those of us who are idiots. Basically. Yeah. I'm raising my hand. Yep, that's me. That's me. All right. Well, Carrie, since the Bavarian House sadly closed in 1986, I decided to look up some things that Akron, Ohio had in common with Defiance, Ohio in the 80s. Oh, okay. Okay. And here's number one. Oh, boy. They had a Wonderbread factory that made the town smell delicious just like Bunny Bread in Defiance and I wonder if kids in Akron wore Wonderbread bags over their feet in their boots in the winter. Uh, yes. Uh, probably they were smart they did. I mean, if their moms were good moms, they wore the Bunny Bread or the Wonderbread bags. Heck yeah. Here's another one. Bowling was a major recreational activity. Uh cuz they're smart there in Akron. Did you ever walk to the bowling alley in high school? Heck yeah. Everybody did. It was gym class. It was. But I I keep wondering by the time we walked there and walked back, we probably had 15 minutes time for bowling. I think it was 30. Wow. Okay. And then one more thing. Okay. On May 25th, 1986. Okay. Akron residents turned out in droves to form a human chain for the charity event. Hands Across America. Do you remember that? I do. Did you participate? I don't think so. Oh my gosh. And then it was 1980, right? 86. 86. Oh, you would have been appropriate. I remember participating. I think we lined up in our neighborhood. Oh, well, if you don't remember that, you probably won't remember this. There apparently was were a bunch of TV ads and an entire theme song for Hands Across America. I'm going to now sing it for you to see if you remember it. Are you ready? Yes. Oh, this is just the chorus. Okay. All right. Hands across America hands across this land I love divided we fall united we stand hands across America

Did Bruce Springsteen sing it. Kristen Springsteen. Kristen Springsteen. No, I don't I don't remember it. You don't remember it? I don't even know what Hands Across America is. I think it was to fight childhood hunger or to fight hunger across America. Okay. Or in the world. No it must be just America because because it's called hands across America. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Okay. So, we have in the sauerkraut, the ham, the spices, the eggs, and then it says, okay, mix with your hands. And then we're going to add the flour a little bit at a time, kneading until the mixture is smooth and can be shaped into balls. Then that's the perfect time for me to share a joke. Oh no. Kristen, where do psychics buy their crystal balls? Oh, I don't know. Carrie, where? Through the Seers catalog. Oh, that's very cool. I know. I know. And I just don't think one does it justice. Another one. Hold on. Let me get some rubber gloves on. Let me give you some rubber gloves. We're going to mix this up. Even though my hands have been all up in the sauerkraut. There's two gloves for you. Thank you. Do you want to help mix this or do you want me to just do it? I don't care. You know what? You mix it now that you have the gloves on and I will add the flour. You should see the grin on her face for that. All right. Hardcore. That worked out well. I didn't plan that, but that was real sneaky sneaky. It was. It was. Okay. What do you call it when a ballerina kicks a man in the no square? What? A nutcracker. Oh, that's terrible. But I love that you said no No square. Thank you. Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? I have no idea. She always ran away from the ball. All right, Carrie, start mixing with your hands. Okay, we have everything in there except for the flour. And then what we're going to do is we're going to mix this. What about the one cup of milk and the one beaten egg? That is later. Um, we're I think what we're going to have to do is we are then going to roll them into balls, freeze them, and then later dip them in the egg milk mixture and bread them. Bread them and then deep fry them in a non-pressurized fryer, unlike the Jojos. That is correct. All right. Are we ready for some flour to be sprinkled in? Sure. I think people in Akron really like fried food, I guess. I mean, who doesn't? Fried food is delicious. I was looking up people's thoughts on sauerkraut. One guy on Reddit. Uhuh. His name is John Stanley. I don't know where he's from. If your name is John Stanley and you didn't write this, my bad for calling you out. John said, "I despise it." He despises sauerkraut. Yeah. My mom's family was Austrian-American and liked sauerkraut, but when my dad was around, they never cooked it. I'd never eaten it until one day. Either my dad was away in Alaska or he died. What? I felt like those were pretty large options there. Yeah. So anyway, mom in parenthesis who could be deceptive in her child raising practices. Oh my. Yeah. So liar pants mom put some on John's plate and he is in mourning either due to his dad being in Alaska or dead. We don't know. And put the plate in front of him and said, "Oh, you used to love it." He would say, "Yum sauerkraut." which is something no child has ever said. Uh, so I took a mouthful. It was the foulest stuff I have ever tasted. I ran to the bathroom and spit it out in the toilet. Mom never tried again to get me to eat it. But about once a year, she and the Grassleturns would cook up a big pot of it on the kitchen stove and stink up the house intolerably. Oh, those Grassleturns. I was stuck there having no place to go and get away from it. Oh, how rude. Cuz his dad was in Alaska. Maybe. Maybe. Bad enough to have a liar pants mom. But then the Grassleturns come over. Gosh. You know what? He just really needed to pull a carry and throw up directly on his plate. That Well, apparently spitting it out in the toilet was successful. It worked. It worked. Yeah. And more polite, so that was nice, I suppose. So, I think dad must have had different sauerkraut balls cuz this is very sauerkraut. Laden. Yeah. Yeah. The sauerkraut to ham ratio definitely falling on the Yeah. The sauerkraut side. It really is. Oy. Okay. John Stanley would not like these Kristen. He would not like these at all. No. It would bring back childhood trauma. Oh my gosh. Yes. There would be spitting. There would be Grassleturns, swearing. Gosh. Actually, speaking of childhood trauma, childhood memories, I found this Facebook post asking people if they had ever eaten sauerkraut growing up. So, then they added a comment after the question that clarified why they posted. Here's what they said. I remember my mother would pour the juice off the kraut into a glass and drink it. Mother,

pretty nasty. Was this Mrs. Grassleturn's son? It must be. It must be. Musta be. It musta be. How is that looking? Is it sticky enough? Yeah, I think so. Should we add a little more? Sure. Okay. Cuz I figure the more flour, the less sauerkraut taste. I agree. Okay. It has taken on a horrible color. It's funky looking. It's kind of beige with little pink flecks. It is. Yep. Whoa. Yum. Yum. Yum. It's kind of cloudy. Yeah, it is kind of cloudy. But you're right. I think the more flour the better. And I'm not quite positive about why we are freezing them. I'm assuming it has something to do with the frying or maybe keeping them together. That's what I'm thinking. So that they don't fall apart. Fry them. Another commenter said, "Flour it up there, Kristen. Here we go. Stop looking. Start shaking." Okay. This might have been um John's dad who lived in Alaska. Yeah. Or was dead. That's right. Uh, actually it probably wasn't because didn't he say his mom only served sauerkraut when dad was in Alaska or dead? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So he said, "Uh, my dad ate it cold out of the can." Sorry, mom, but that totally sounds like something our mother would have done. It does. She would have been concerned about the gut health benefits. Yep. Yep. Or our grandma. Oh, totally. Oh, grandma totally would have. This is good for gut health dears. She would have been like your microbiome. I don't even know if that's a word, but we're going to say it is. It is. Your gut flora and fauna will be so thrilled with the microbiome properties of this. Oh yeah. Have some tuna. Have some tuna for protein. It kind of, you know, this kind of looks like a gross tuna salad. It does. All right. One final comment that somebody had. They said that a grocer that his dad worked with uh would go into the refrigerator box. So this must have been long long time ago. And take out a handful of sauerkraut to eat. Uh what they just had open vats of sauerkraut would that be? Can you see just the sauerkraut juice just dripping down your arm in your shirt? Yeah, that's nice. Okay, I think we need to pull on Let me check. Pull off chunks of the mixture and roll between your palms. Not your fingers, but your palms to make balls the size of a golf ball. Place on cookie sheets and freeze until firm about two hours. Wow. I hope you have a lot to talk about, Carrie, other than jokes about balls Oh, no. But but the the jokes go on. Okay. So, I have two jokes I'm going to tell you now. These are non-child friendly jokes. Okay. So, I'm going to start with the least offensive and move to the most offensive. At age 25, yes, men play basketball. Yeah. At age 40, men play tennis. Yeah. At age 60, men play golf. Yeah. The moral of the story is the older you get, the smaller your balls are. That's funny. I thought that was a good That's funny. And speaking of golf balls, is this the size of a golf ball? I don't golf. I don't either. Okay. All right. Here's my other non-appropriate joke. Oh, come on. Okay, I get bigger each time you blow me. What am I? Oh, Carrie, that is inappropriate. Is it a beach ball? It's a balloon. But that's not a ball. That's not a ball joke. Argue with my dang joke. Dang joke. It's ball-shaped, Kristen. A balloon is ball shaped. That's just wrong. If I were writing those jokes down, I would have changed that to beach ball. Sheesh. Carrie. Gosh. Oh my gosh. All right. So, I do have a couple things about Akron. Yeah. Okay, good. I'd like to know. I was quite frankly shocked. At how many things I found other than them being the rubber capital. And so the rubber capital is due to its tire factories. Yes. Yes. So it has a lot of tire factories there. So Clark Gable worked at one of Akron's tire factories briefly when he was a young man. You are kidding me. I would I found it on the internet. Is it true? Maybe not. But I found it. Somebody wrote it down on the interwebs. Wow. That's interesting. Oh, that was kind of interesting. It is. Get your arms out the way. Sorry. Hey, I'm trying not to roll it over the cookie sheet cuz I have dropped. You've dropped all the pieces all the places. I asked her to move her arms. Another piece of sauerkraut. Flunk. Carrie that's what dogs are for. You Every now and then I'll be visiting like my mom who doesn't have a dog and I'll drop something on the floor and I'll look at it and go, "Oh, I have to pick it up myself." I'll do that too at my mom's house. You do? Yeah. That's weird. Okay. something else that occurred in Akron. Okay, it is the birthplace of the zip code. Nuhuh. I am not kidding you. In 1963, the concept of the zip code was introduced and the very first zip code 44301 was assigned to Akron. Wow. So in the 60s they came up with the recipe for sauerkraut balls and the zip code. It was a good year. That was a good decade. Yeah. its decade. All right, this one I thought everybody needs to know. Oh, I wrote it down because it made me laugh. Thomas Edison married his second wife in Akron. What? I didn't even know Thomas Edison had a second wife. I did not either. Well, they got married in Akron. And it goes on. Oh. Oh. He was about 50, rich, and famous. She was 25 and the daughter of a wealthy Akron industrialist. Thomas Edison was a creeper. Creepola. Yes. Ewww. Well, they said these are supposed to be pretty sticky, and they are. They are. That is very true. Okay, so speaking of kind of creepy things, I have a ball joke No, I'm kidding. I knew Kristen would roll her eyes at me and think, I'm gonna have to cut this. Yes. Yes. The birthplace of mud wrestling. No way. What? The first professional mud wrestling organization formed by Michael Witrock and Tyler Carroll in the early 30s. Seriously? Yes. I thought it was like some frat boy thing from the 50s No saying that they weren't frat boys. The first competition took place between Mildred Burke and Babe Gordon on January 7th, 1938. Mildred and Babe. Mildred and Babe. Wow. Who would have thunk? I know. I thought that was a good one. Okay, Carrie. So, there's one more for you to make. I'm going to take my gloves off. Let's count these bad boys and see if it's actually half of 96. Got a chance. No. You think you made them too big then? Well, I would imagine. 38. Did you count this one? Yep. Oh, okay. Well, we have 38. Okay. So, from here, we're freezing. Yes. We're cooking. And so, we're heading out. And I feel like the best way to do that is with Oh no, a ball joke. Another ball joke. Okay. Okay. I watched a baseball game once. Yeah. Where the umpire kept wandering around and was eventually knocked out by a ball. What? It was the fall of the Roamin' Umpire.

You didn't want to laugh. And you did. I win, people. And we're out of here. And we're done.

Okay, we have rolled and we put them in the freezer. We did and they froze for two hours. I took a nap and I cleaned all the dishes. Not true. And then we took them out. We rolled them in flour. Frozen. Completely frozen. Rolled them in flour. dipped them in the egg milk mixture and then rolled them in breadcrumbs. Yep. And then Kristen very bravely fried them in a pan cuz it would have scared the crap out of me. I hate using cooking oil. I don't like it. Scares me it bubbles. I deep fry stuff sometimes so I'm used to it. But my only concern is that they are still frozen in the middle cuz that was a pretty quick cook. You know it was. So, when we first started, the oil got too hot. So, we just went ahead and wasted a couple of balls. Yeah. And so, they're brown, but they are 100% frozen in the middle still cuz the oil was too hot, but that brought the temp down perfectly. So, then we did these next ones. They're gorgeous brown. They may only be cooked a small amount in. Maybe it's because we made the balls too big. That's possible, too. But to me, these are the size of a golf ball. Yeah. I don't. Yep. But you know what? If they are too cold in the middle or frozen in the middle, I think the oil should be probably be at 350 then. And then that takes you longer to get the outside browned. And yeah, and you know, this is what microwaves are made for. That's true. You just pop them in the microwave and boom. And there you go. Okay. All right. We going to try these? I'm ready. Shall we do clinky? We've got some French. No, Russian. It's Russian. Oh my gosh. Totally different culture. Totally. That's totally different. Wine versus borsht. Vodka. Yeah. Wine versus vodka. Okay. So, I we can't bite them simultaneous. No, but let's clink them. Oh, they're very crispy. They are very crispy. Dip it on in that creamy Russian. Oh, that broke beautifully like it wasn't frozen in the middle. And a big dangly piece of sauerkraut came out. And she's chewing and nodding. She made a little oog face. It um she's not loving this. It's not my favorite, but it tastes like the inside of a Reuben. Oh, I'm not going to like this at all. All right, here we go. It's not hot on the inside, but it's not frozen. The outside's super crunchy. Oh, that's gross. Carrie's looking for a place to spit it out. That guy that I was making fun of earlier for spitting out his uh sauerkraut. John Stanley, dude, I am one with you. And when dad said they they didn't have that much sauerkraut, you must have had different ones. They are cooked all the way through, but they are not warm. The texture is horrifying. The flavor is sauerkraut. The outside was delightful. It's very crispy and delicious. I fried those suckers perfectly. She did a great job. Yeah, Akron, my apologies. Well, maybe this is not the recipe for us. Maybe we should have tried mixing it with bratwurst or sausage. I'll try the Jojo. Okay. Mhm. All right. Well, that's it for this episode, then. Thanks so much for joining us. Now, be sure to mark your calendars for our next episode on January 26th. We will be making a notoriously difficult recipe. So, the chances for success are minimal, but no matter what, there will be lots of sisterly harassment and laughter and failure. Absolutely.

Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode, go to our website, momswoodspoon.com. If you'd rather, check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. You've got a lot of crapola here. Way to mess up all my notes. That's awesome. Thanks. That's cool. I don't want to say those things. They were taped at the bottom and now they're not. Fudge. Gosh, Carrie. Oh, now you twisted everything inappropriately. I'll do it. I'll do it. Just step back, Kristen, and let me fix this. Oh my gosh. I've got this. This is so fun.