Don't Get Nutmegged!

Episode Transcript for Fettuccine Alfredo Impossible Pie

Today's recipe is going to be impossible. What? Why? I mean, we usually screw things up, but it's never that bad. No, no, I meant an impossible pie. I don't get it. Wh Why do you think we're not going to be able to do this?

Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro, and so are your hosts. You can say that again.

Today's recipe comes from the May 9th, 1983 Mary's Memo. Oh, it's a Mary's Memo day. Yay! I do love the Mary's Memo. And you know what? You also love Impossible Pies. I do love Impossible Pies. That's what we're making. If I cooked for my family, yes, we would eat a lot of impossible pies. I think they're easy peasy lemon squeezy skillet meals and Impossible pies. Oh, yeah. You know, I tried to talk Carrie into the tuna one. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. But instead, Miss Party pooper Yeah. wouldn't let us do that. I'm okay if you make a nice tuna fish salad. Add a little mayo with some crunch. We're good. I'm going to heat that sucker up. Not your fave. An emphatic no. Tuna melt off the table. Huh? Oh, so off the table. Not even near the table. Don't put it near Carrie. Back away from the table. So, instead, we're going to do that weird recipe that was part of you all voting a couple of seasons ago. And you are the true winners here. You are. We're making the fettuccini alfredo impossible pie with no fettuccini. No fettuccini. It's weird. I love it. It's so crazy. It does have some of the ingredients that make up Alfredo sauce like eggs, milk, cream, parm cheese, and then you mix it all with Bisquick in a blender. I mean, I'm sold. I know, right? That is my kind of cooking right here. Well, you know, I was thinking about this and how on social media Italians joke about the fact that Americans go over to Italy and ask for fetuccini alfredo and how it's not an Italian thing, okay? But it actually started out as an Italian thing. Really? Yes. It was invented in I think 1908 when this chef called Alfredo Delelio. Oh. Uh actually he was a restaurant tour in Rome. He made this simple dish with just fresh pasta, lots and lots of butter and parmesan cheese for his pregnant wife who was sick to her tummy and didn't want to eat. I was going to say that or children. Yes. Yes. It would be perfect for I mean how many kids you know eat buttered noodles with a little parm cheese sprinkled on it basically what it was. And so at first he called the dish fettuccini al tripio burro which means with three times the butter. Ah I was like burro the donkey. I know right. Donkeys and butter. Donkeys and butter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sold. I know right. Well, it was so delicious. He actually started serving in his restaurant and he'd make it tableside to kind of zhuzh it up, right? Yep. And so these famous Hollywood stars from back in the day in the 20s, Mary Pickford and Douglas Fairbanks, went to his restaurant and ate it and loved it so much that they brought the recipe back to America and even gave him this weirdo gift, a golden fork and spoon engraved with the words to Alfredo the king of pasta. Who doesn't want a golden fork and spoon? I mean, who wouldn't? This dish never caught on in Italy cuz they probably were like, "That's for little children, right?" But it caught on in America. And of course, America just tweaked it and added all kinds of fat and stuff to it. Yeah. Go America. I mean, whipping cream makes everything better. Yes, it does. I had some fettuccini. I did not. I watched someone have fettuccini alfredo at this restaurant in Las Vegas, known for its fine Italian cuisine. We were in the Venetian. So, we were sitting next to a canal with a gondola going. Oh my god. It was as close to Italy as you can get. I'll bet you felt like you were there. Oh, yeah. Little Italy pasha the Venetian. And they would take a big wheel of Parmesan cheese and put butter in it and your hot noodles and a little pasta water and twist and twist and twist. Oh, I've seen that on social media. Yes. Well, I saw it live and in person. Live and in person. That's probably how Alfredo did it. I have no doubt. I am perfectly sure. Yeah. There was not much left to this wheel of parmesan. Really? Yeah. It was a rind a rind of parmesan. Wow. That they were making it in. But nonetheless, it was very creamy and parmesan as it came out. Well, you know what? There is a weird little addition to this and it is nutmeg. I think nutmeg is incredibly common in Alfredo. It is incredibly common in Alfredo, but not the original Alfredo. Right. Right. Everybody should put nutmeg in everything. It's delicious. It is fantastic. It is an underrated spice. I believe I went on my nutmeg rant. You did the last time the sugar cream pie. Yep and I saw this as an opportunity to educate the masses. Oh, on the joys of nutmeg. I think that's a good idea. Let us begin now. Okay. Okay. There is a state. Yes. The nutmeg state. Any guesses as to what state in these fine United States? Wow. Is known as the nutmeg state. You know, I wouldn't even begin to guess what type of climate the nutmeg would be. I'm going to guess New Mexico. Connecticut. You're kidding me. Yeah. Because its early inhabitants had the reputation of being so ingenious and shrewd that they were able to make and sell wooden nutmegs. What? Yeah. Okay. So, this is great. What? So, here's the story, and I love saying this as a resident of Georgia. Yeah. Yankee peddlers from Connecticut Yeah. sold nutmegs to southerners who are not familiar with the spice, but they were just wooden balls carved to look like nutmegs. So, they made money off of this false spice. No, that's the story. However, whoa, there's an alternative story. There always is. It really depends on who do you want to make look bad. Oh, okay. So, yeah. If we want to rain on the Yankees. Yeah. Lies. They're they're thieves and liars. Another lying episode. Carrie. Yeah. Just this one story. Oh, okay. If we want to make the Southerners look bad. Yeah. Then the story goes is that the Southerners did not know that you had to take this seed of nutmeg and grate it. Oh. So they didn't realize they thought that you had to crack it like a walnut. So they thought that this nutmeg was wood because if you bounced it, it would bounce. If you put it in water, it would float. It had all the properties of wood. And quite frankly, you cut open a nutmeg seed, it kind of looks like wood. Looks like wood. Yeah. So the alternative story would be that they actually sold them nutmegs. The Southerners didn't know what to do with it. Thought it was wood. Right. Depends on who you want to make look bad. I don't want to make anybody look bad, especially after the fiasco of our last episode. Oh, I mean, when Kristen just lambasted Minnesotans, I did not up one side and down the other. Carrie made it seem like I did that. Thanks, Carrie. I really enjoyed. Okay, but now that we know the little story of the nutmeg, yes, you can use nutmeg. Yes. In a sentence, not referring to the spice. What? For example, you can be nutmegged. What? Yes. Or you can nutmeg someone. Well, let me ask you what that means. It would be being tricked or deceived in a way that makes you look foolish. That's perfect. Like the Southerners were when they were sold or that the Southerners were because they didn't know. Either way, nutmegged. Nutmegged. And it is a common term used in soccer. it. Yes. Come on. There's a move in soccer where a player kicks the ball through the opponent's legs. Yeah. And then runs to the other side and gets the ball. Yeah. It makes them look foolish and deceived. It's known as the nutmeg. That's incredible. I think that's hilarious. Oh my gosh. They get like a verb. You know what? I nutmeg you a lot, don't I? Oh girl. Oh no. I'm so sorry. Very, very true. Well, back to impossible pies. Carrie, I looked and looked and looked and looked on the internet for this fettuccini alfredo impossible pie recipe. It was nowhere to be found. Really? Yes. And you usually do that, but I thought No, I noticed that you didn't. So, I looked. Nothing. The only fettuccini alfredo Impossible pies, they had the noodles in it, and it did not include Bisquick. I'll be doggone. So that that's always fun to me. Yeah. When we're making something that you really can't otherwise find available. Yeah. So did it get lost to the annals of history because it sucks so bad? I think it did because I tried to refer to Mary. She said that she got this recipe from let me see. She said Bisquick's newest Impossible Pies. So I looked on this is from 1983. I looked up 1983 Impossible Pie cookbook recipes. Nothing. Huh? Yep. I did find one that I think you'll love love love. Okay. Okay. Are you ready? Uh no. Oh, it's called Bisquick Tempting Tuna Pizza. Oh, no. No, no, no. We know Carrie's love of the tuna. Here's what you do. You add yeast to Bisquick to make the quote real Italian pizza crust. No, you don't. That part's fine. No, we've offended Italians. Yeah, we have. You're right. real Italian. And then here's what you do. This is going to be your favorite part. You are going to mix onions, tomato soup, mushrooms, and tuna. Spread it on the dough. Top it with of all things, cheddar cheese, and bake. No, you don't. Yep. And then on the ad, it says, "Bravissimo, a luscious new pizza filling." No, thank you. No, no, thank you. Speaking of things that are Italian but not really Italian, Yeah. I just discovered Yeah. an I don't know 1960s songish I'm gonna say by Rosemary Clooney. Yes. Called Mamba Italiano. Mambo Italiano. I adore this song. And it is flipping hilarious. Is it? Yes. That's all I knew of it when I sang. It is snappy and you have to dance along. And then she gets to the verse part. Yeah. And I don't really know what she's saying, but she randomly says Italian things. No way. So you hear jibber jabber jibber jabber mozzarella

jibber jabber bambino.

It's hilarious. She might also scream out some Spanish words because it is the mambo, right? It's a blending of the two cultures in this fun kind of upbeat way, but it's hilarious. I'm in love. Wow. In love. So, um, Dean Martin also has a version. Yes, he does. Not as good as Rosemary's. Rosemary knocked it out the park. I think it was Dean Martin who actually made it famous. He was more famous than she was. Yeah. But if you're going to go back and listen, absolutely get Rosemary Clooney's version. You cannot not be happy and listen to this song. Unless, of course, you're offended by her screaming out just rando Italian words. That's awesome. Hilarious. I love it. Not really Italian, but Italian not really just like this recipe. Uhhuh. So, I think what we should do Yeah. is throw this just let's just throw out random Italian words as we cook. That sounds great. And just find our inner Rosemary Clooney That is perfecto, bravissimo. Oh, she's starting already. Yeah, that was what they said about the pizza. I don't know much.  the only Italian word she knows. It is. Well, let's get started on this impossible fettuccini alfredo pie. As usual, you just put all the ingredients in the blender. You try not to pop the top off the blender and make it go everywhere as I have done in the past. And then you just pour this liqufied monstrosity into a pie pan. And voila. Yeah. I'm trying to see if you need to grease the pan. It just doesn't think you do. Yes, it says grease the pie plate. Okay. Well, I'm gonna start adding the things to the blender. Sorry about my noise. Oh, Carrie. Okay. So, we have done a couple of Impossible Pies. Yeah. And at each Impossible Pie, we have talked about the history of Bisquick. We've talked quite a bit about Bisquick. Ad nauseum. Really? Probably. Yeah. So, if you're new to Mom's Wooden Spoon and you are thinking to yourself, "Huh, Kristen and Carrie, I really wish you'd cover the history of Bisquick." Yeah, you're just going to have to go back a couple seasons and find it cuz we're not doing it again. We ain't doing it. Cuz if you've been with us for the past four years, we don't want to bore you. We don't the story of Bisquick. We would never want to bore you guys. No. No. But I was thrilled to find new Bisquick information. You are kidding me. There is a Bisquick conspiracy. What? Yeah. I asked the editor, "Can you find like some music?" And I'm going to do it again. Bisquick Conspiracy.

Okay, here's the conspiracy. I cannot wait to hear this. All right. In 1980, Yes. when this recipe came out. Yeah. If you wanted to make pancakes, Yeah. your Bisquick recipe would read thusly. Okay. Do tell. Two cups of Bisquick. Okay. Okay. One cup of milk, two eggs. Yeah. Done. Okay. In 2024. Yes. If you had a box of Bisquick mix, Yes. your recipe would read this way. Okay. Two cups Bisquick. Yes. Same. One cup milk. Okay. Same. Yeah. Two eggs. Same. Yes. Two tablespoons vegetable oil. What? Why? Okay. Well, now isn't that a great question? As you poured the milk all over, I was trying not to be loud and I poured it everywhere. All over the place. So, well, you know what? It's good. You got that out of the way. Now, you don't have to flood it through the top of the blender. I don't I've already made the mess. Mhm. So if you look at the new recipe of Bisquick, ultimately what has happened is corn starch has moved up in the list and vegetable oil has moved down in the list. They cheaped out and made the consumers put in their own oil. Yeah. So it's it's very fascinating in this conspiracy. Betty Crocker Yeah. says it's all good. It's all the same. No changes. We're we're good here folks. Oh, liars. This might be another lying episode. But like I said before, yeah, Gibby42 of the Reddit community said the formula has indeed changed and they've adjusted all recipes to take that into account. So check the box or online to see what the new recipe it is. It seems you're just adding a little oil to most things. And Google AI, yeah, so the truth of course, right, says more recently, there have been adjustments, including the removal of palm oil and the addition of a vegetable oil blend, which requires users to add oil when making recipes. So, they're saying they're trying to save our health. Correct. Oh, okay. One egg. So, who knows? Bisquick does not address. They don't address it. I think they're cheaping out. Just like the cake mixes. Oh, yeah. So much less cake mix in a box. Yes. All kinds of things like that. What used to be 12 ounces is now only 10. We could go on and on people. We could on and on. Well, this recipe actually calls for four eggs. Okay. Well, thank goodness. Does it call for any oil? It does not. So, that'll be interesting. But there's whipping cream, which is fatty fat fat fat. I feel like that may be okay. Yeah, I think you're right. I think that'll that'll fill in the the fat. Yeah. So, anyway, I thought that that was pretty fascinating. Wow, it is. Mhm. Okay. So, we have in all the ingredients, the whipping cream, the milk, the four eggs, the parm cheese, and yes, it called for 3/4 of a teaspoon of pepper. That's a lot of pepper. You really voiced some concern. I am concerned about that. I have a really nice ground pepper that's pretty strong, so I just put in a half a teaspoon because the 3/4 of a teaspoon concerned the heck out of me. I think that this is hilarious that what we always want from Mary's memo is more spice. I know, right? And here we are and Kristen, sorry for the noise. Cutting out the spice. The spice. I know. It scared me. I mean, my Midwestern sister. Oh, I don't think anything more than a dash of Tabasco. It's going to make it too spicy. I like things zesty, but that made me nervous. And there's no way we can taste test this with all the raw eggs in it. So, that's true. Yeah. So, we're on to the blending. We are on to the blending. Everything's in there. I mean, what an easy dish. I am not joking that if I had to cook for my family, this is what they get because I am really unpleasant by the time a complicated meal is done. I is that when you're unpleasant or that is one of the many times during which I am unpleasant. The meal tastes fine. Yeah. My attitude is so poor. You just dislike it that much. Yes. It just makes me so grumpy. Oh my goodness. that they would do anything to keep me from having to cook. That is funny. Yeah. But this I could handle. Yeah. What I really hate is when you're juggling the various aspects of a meal, trying to get them all to come out at the same time. Yes. It just ticks me off. Oh, that's so funny. I really really dislike it. But this is great. While it's baking, I can put some salad fixings together. Voila. Eat your stupid meal. I totally understand what you're talking about. Blend that up, girl. Okay, see you later. Chop chop.

Ciao. We're back. What Beautiful Italian. Oh, thank you. Spaghetti. Oh, no. Alfredo. I almost said oui oui. That is not good. Bellisimo Bellisimo Scusi.

Scusi, you. Oh my goodness. So, we blended. I did not shoot the lid off the blender. Life is good. No. Oh, no.

It's like I can speak French. Yeah. Roast Beef is the only word. I spent like a year trying to learn French. That's what I got, folks. Roast beef. Roast beef. It they according to the person I learned it from. It's Roast beef. Well, they're foolish. I don't know. I don't know. That's hilarious. Roast beef. All right. So, I mean this super super hard recipe. We're going to pour this into the pie pan. But I feel like I need to share with everyone. If you are in a place where you can use both hands, please clap. Why? Kristen did not throw this everywhere. I didn't. She started on low. It was controlled. It's like she's used her very own blender before. It is. It's nice, isn't it? We're I was proud. Yeah. Oh my gosh. We have made Wow. Darn near three white pies in a row here at Mom's Wooden Spoon. yes we did. Take a picture of that. That's funny. We have the zucchini sugar cream pie. Yep. which Kristen so thoughtfully skinned alive zucchinis. So then the pie was absolutely white. Yes, it was. Then we made the real deal sugar cream pie. Oh, yeah. Totally white. Yep. And now we have here an Alfredo pie. Ridiculously white. It is. It is. Welcome to the world of bland, my friends. Blandy McBland. Well, I didn't think anything else about this pie. You know, it's going to be bland. Yeah, but it's not a Midwestern pie. I don't think so. Its Bisquick. It's a Bisquick recipe. Well, it's going to be bland cuz somebody cut out all the stinking pepper. Oh, that's true. It's all my fault. Yeah. Would have been spicy. It would have been zippity zappity. Yeah, but no it's not spicy now. No. All right. Well, we're going to bake this in a 350 oven until a knife comes out clean. You know how well that worked for our cream pies. Yeah, but I feel like this will be successful on this. I think you're right. And uh 30 to 35 minutes and then cool for 3 minutes and then shove it in your mouth. Sweet. Remember what we said that we would say to our bakes in one of our last episodes? Good luck f-ers.

I want to say that today. Good. Good luck blandy. Actually, I think we should say something Italiano like arrivederci have a good bake I don't know what else to say. Bueno is that that's not Italian. I like that. I think just arrivederci there we go.  arrivederci f-ers

Okay. So, here is something that is not murdery about nutmeg and then we'll get to the best of all things because I just found so many fascinating things about nutmeg. Wow. Carrie, it is apparently the subject of much folklore and superstition. Oh, and you know we like superstitions. We do indeed. And Kristen likes to sing the song Superstition. I do. I don't know. She sings all the songs. I can sing very superstitious. writings on the wall Superstition. I knew she I knew she would. Yeah. It's also said to possess magical qualities. Magic? Yeah. Magic. What magical properties? I need to know. Okay. I'm going to tell you. Yeah. I didn't write them all down. Oh, come on. I just chose my faves. Okay, I like your faves. Okay, this is what we have. At one time, it was believed that keeping a small pouch of nutmeg on your person could prevent bones from breaking. Oh, wow. Uhhuh. Now, did they grind it and then or was it just the wood balls? Just the nut I don't know. I do not know. Wow. It's worth trying. Yeah. It was also believed that placing a single nutmeg under your left armpit, that would be comfy, would attract followers, even lovers. Followers. We need more followers. Oh my gosh. Get the nutmeg. Get the nutmeg. And she got all this nutmeg in the left pit. You get one and I get one. Do you want the bigger nutmeg or do you want the smaller nutmeg? Are you going to eat these Nutmegs. What do you Yeah, I'm gonna eat it after we put it in our left armpits. Okay, it's your family. And it's in. Okay. It feels very bulby and hurts. Feels like hurt, but I'm leaving it in. I'm leaving it in. It smells okay. Our pits are going to smell good. Oh my gosh. We're going to have bruised pits. We're going to have bruised pits. We're going to have more followers. Why do we have to keep it in is my question. You know what? I'm going to leave it in for 24 hours. I think I wonder if we could just like duct tape it up in there. That might be a good idea. Super glue. The longer you leave it in, the more followers I That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. Uhhuh. For sure. Yep. This is really good stuff. I'm going to buy another jar of Well, you have to cuz I just stuck it under my arm. Tell us about the murder. Carrie murder. Okay, this is very exciting. The first claims of nutmeg quote intoxication who date back to the 1500s. Really? Yes. In the 1500s, a pregnant lady had nutmeg intoxication after having eaten 10 nutmeg nuts. Why? What? Why did she do that? Why? That's excessive. Excessive. Yeah. Okay. So, moving forward in time. Okay. They do have a case report of an 18-year-old female complaining of nausea, dizziness, heart palpitations, and dry mouth. I have that all the time. I know. I was thinking that same thing. She had consumed almost 50 grams of nutmek. Nutmeg or nutmek? Nutmeg in the form of a milkshake. Wow, that's a lot of nutmeg in your milkshake. You think she made an eggnog milkshake and just went went cuckoo. Okay. So, and most recently, a 37year-old female found herself experiencing the symptoms of my myristicin. That's myristicin the killer ingredient. Oh, okay. After consuming only two teaspoons of nutmeg. Wow. Yes. So, you can get someone sick on 2 teaspoons of nutmeg. Yeah. I thought that was interesting. You can find the exact amount. Yeah. To really, you know, jack someone up. I felt like in an effort to not be blamed for some rando person poisoning their loved one via nutmeg. Yeah. Yeah. I just wouldn't say it. So, it's all on you if you want to try that. Wow. But 10 grams, aka two teaspoons, is a good place to start. Will make them feel pretty lousy. Wow. All right. So Carrie, we have about 10 minutes left on our bake. We hope those f-ers are doing great. Yes. I wanted to tell you or talk to you about some things that you might remember from the 70s and 80s. Since this is an 80s recipe and since we've been making a lot of recipes that did not really have a date on it. Yes, that's right. Cuz we don't, you know, obviously sugar cream pie, right? Nothing. Okay. These are some things about cars that I want to see if you remember from the 70s and 80s. Cuz cars are so different now. Do you remember this? You would turn on your brightss. Heck yeah. With a button on the floor. Yes, ma'am. You remember that? Absolutely. I do indeed. Do you remember having two separate keys for your car? One for the door and one for the ignition. Uh-huh. Yeah. And they were shaped different. One was a square and one was an oval. Well, yeah. So, you'd know which was which. I mean, you had to obviously. How about this? Do you remember cars gas caps being hidden under a hinged license plate? I do. I had one. Did you? Yes. You'd have to fold it. It was really a pain in the butt. Yeah. Because it would try and shut and so you it you couldn't just open the gas cap with one hand because you had to hold the hold it open. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I remember that. Oh my gosh. At the time, gas was 99 cents. And people were complaining up one side and down the other. That it was going to go over a dollar. Yep. Oh, it's over. It's over. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. How about velour seats in cars? Oh, no. I do not remember that. Oh my gosh. I got picked up from the pool with my friend and her mom was driving and the interior of their car was red velour. Whoa. I thought it was like a limousine. And she let your wet bathing suit booty sit on her velour seat. No, we had to change first and then we got in cuz that would just ruin No, we just had plastic. Yeah, on our car. I mean, you can't even call it pleather. No, no, no. It was just plastic. And we had fabric, but it was like a plastic type fabric, too. Yeah. And then do you remember the little triangle vent windows that you could open? I absolutely do. Don't have those anymore. Probably cuz not a ton of people are smoking their kids out, making like a smoke hot box for their kids in the car. Well, right, cuz you also had a cigarette lighter. That's right. Yep. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Those would get hot. Very, very hot. And then you could smell them and see if somebody had smoked previously and judge them harshly in your childhood mind Judgy Mc Judger in the 60s and 70s and 80s. Wow. Okay, one last thing. Okay. Do you remember a lot of station wagons had that fold away bench seat in the way back? Oh, I totally forgot about that ours did not have one of those. So therefore, you and your friend Jay would lie in the back of our yellow station wagon. Most fun ever. And I would drive recklessly through the neighborhood turning really hard and you guys could go rolling back and forth. We would It hurt so bad. We would fly over each other, elbows to the face. It was so painful and so much fun. So much fun. Oh, I remember that. Could not have been more fun. But you were the best for doing that. I was the coolest sister. Yes. Driving recklessly. If our parents knew I was doing that, my butt would have been grounded through the neighborhood where the children are out running around. Oh yeah. Oh, that was so much fun. Here's a fun thing that I No, this was not fun at all. We may have talked about this before. Our mom made us do Jazzercize. Oh, see. Okay. So, our memories of the Jazzercize very different. I hate it. I remember it with joy and fondness. Oh, I flipping hated. First of all, I'm not coordinated at all. Go to the left, Kristen. I'm going to the right. Kick your legs. I'm moving my elbows. I had no idea what I was doing. I felt like a big fat idiot. So, I was going because I was fat. Mom was like, "You're a little chunk chunk. I think you need some exercise." So, we had to walk. I don't remember if I was in middle school or junior high. Uh, well, I don't remember. I remember just the young sister trailing along behind angry Kristen. But on the days you didn't go, because I was so ticked for having to go, I stopped at a little shop downtown on my walk to the church where they held this in the church basement with all the old ladies and I would buy myself a Snickers bar and eat it on the way.

I love it. It's also where I bought my first can of Aquanet. Oh, look at you. I felt like such a grownup. I remember doing Jazzercize and someone else had the same idea of you as you of buying candy on the way. Yeah. And they bought those candy they're I think they're called Boston baked beans. Oh, they're a candy. Yes. They were horrible. Oh no. Um but I tried them for the first time at Jazzercize. You are kidding. Mhm. I remember that thinking who would get these are awful. You might as well be eating Necco wafers. Our mom's favorite. Yes. I Yeah. I laugh at this Jazzercize cuz I remember it with fondness. You do? I didn't hate it at all. Oh my gosh, I hated it. I did not know. I had no idea why we were doing that. I think it was because I was three years older than you were and I was at that baby fat stage. You know how you get like in middle school and junior high? You know, you might have added the I'm making you do this cuz you're chunky all in your own brain. Oh, I probably did. Odds are really good. She just wanted us to get some exercise. Get some exercise. probably. But in my mind, I was going cuz I was a chunkers. Gotcha. That I would have to wear those clothes that were advertised in the 1970s newspapers for Husky Girls or for chunkies, I think it was called. Oh, yes. I think they girls they had chunkies. Chunkies. In hindsight, I think I now know why I got the little chunky chunks. In middle school, once a week, we could buy Frosties. Oh, I remember those Frosties. In the cafeteria. Yes. Oh, I always had my nickel or whatever it was to buy that. Fridays Yes. Fridays. How much was it? A nickel. Oh, I I think it was a quarter. Oh, yeah. I always had my money. They came in a little styrofoam cup. Yes. And it was absolutely a frosty. It was like Frosty Friday. It was heavenly. In that same middle school cafeteria, I had my most embarrassing moment. Oh, Carrie. Yes. Let me tell you, please do. I'm standing in line to get my lunch. Yes. And the line in this cafeteria kind of went right through the middle of the cafeteria. Yes. So, as you're standing in line looking at where you go to get lunch, there's two lines. One goes to the right, one goes to the left. And then to your left are tables and to your right are tables. They're filled with students. Yeah. I'm standing there. I am wearing my glasses because I'm blind as a bat. I'm chit chatting with my friend, minding my own business. Yeah. And unawares to me, they were boys. It's always the boys. I have no idea what they were doing. I don't know. All I know is that a baby carrot, a baby carrot was flung across the lunchroom and got caught right in between my eye and my glasses. I'm going to pee my pants. I'm facing the line. The kid on the left flung it who knows where. I am sure it was not at me. He couldn't have done it again if he tried. And as I'm facing forward, it's just rotating along perfectly rotating. And so I'm standing there, obviously jump a mile. I mean, I start laughing. The kids at the table that threw it are dying. Oh, I bet. Of course. But I'm a middle schooler. Yeah. Could anything be more humiliating? No. Beaned in the eye by a carrot. Okay. So, I'm going to take this out. It just beeped. Okay. And I'm going to stick the knife in it. We'll see how it's doing. Oh. Oh, it looks alright it smells yummy. It does. And it has a nice little crust on the top. It does. It feels like all the Parmesan cheese rose to the top and made it kind of crunchy. I think it said to let it cool for about 3 minutes. We're not typically good with that, but I think we probably should let it cool a little bit. So, I'm going to tell you just a couple more Gen X memories and see if you Oh, no. I'm good with it just the way it is. We gonna scald our mouths. I was just being a jerk. I know you were. Okay. How about this? Do you remember letting ourselves in the house with the key and the fake rock? Oh yeah, absolutely. I think everybody had a fake rock. Everybody had the fake rock. They were No one would ever discover that. Never. It looked just like the zero other rocks you had around your house in the pine chips. Yes. A rock. One random rock. Our mother would not have allowed a rock to have stayed within her pine chips. Never. That would have not been acceptable. No. No. Do you remember having one of those magnetic key things? You could put the key in and put it under your back bumper. Uh, who didn't? Uh, I mean, everybody did. Yeah, cuz otherwise you'd have gotten locked out of that bad boy. Yeah, I got a metal um mag metal magnet. A metal magnet. I got a magnet when my daughter first started to learn that you put on the back of your car that says, you know, dumbass driving. That is not in fact what it says. New driver caution. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what it says. Anyway, I go to put that on the back of my car. Yeah. No, there's no metal. No metal to be found. That's crazy. I know. So different. I Right. Yeah. Oh, I need a pie server here. Oh, well, you better. I mean, we could have more fun facts, but no, she's going to make a whole crap ton of noise. I'm not making any noise. I want to hear what you have to say, Carrie. I love it. I love every minute of it. She's the best. My sister. Yeah. Okay, let's cut this pie. Oh, it's very delicate. How many knives did you get I got 20 Because I needed a clean knife every time I tested it. You couldn't have wiped it on a towel and dirty a towel. Guess who does the dishes around here, people? Mhm. Not misuse the knife for every opportunity. It's Carrie. Okay. All right. You gonna get that out or what? I'm gonna try. You want Did you already take a picture of the pie? I did. I did. We're all just sitting around waiting on you, Kristen. Let's see how she puts the knife down. She brings the pie up. Oh, for crying out. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. This is the longest serving of pie we've ever had. Miss I love Jazzercize. Ouch. I don't know if you can hear. I cannot get it out. Oh. Oh, it looks like the insides of a sugarcream pie. It really does. With a super brown crust on the top. Crumbly. Crumbly crust. is the weirdest looking thing I have ever seen. Take a picture of that. I did not expect it to look like that. Me neither. I did not expect the crumbly brown crust, which you basically could lift up with your fork. Again, I'm wondering if it's all the Parmesan cheese that rose to the top. So, in the picture, I got really close to it. Yeah. And it is breadier looking. It's very bready than a sugar cream pie, but at first glance, you can't see the little bready holes. And it just look Oh, Kristen does not like it. The look on her face is one of I think it's a texture thing is my guess. Yeah. It's not like bread. It is so eggy. It's real creamy and moist. Yes. I thought it was going to be like bread and I thought I will enjoy the heck out of some bread. No. And I can taste the pepper and I can taste the nutmeg. Definitely needs more pepper. You are funny. And then I don't taste anything else. I don't really even taste the pepper to be honest. I just get the nutmeg which is fine. I love nutmeg. It's not bad. It's not bad, but it's kind of a big Why bother? Yes. Well, I can see why you can't find it anywhere. Well, yeah. It would not have stood the test of time. No. It's just odd. And very, very little flavor. It tastes just like you guys could have imagined. Boring. It is. It's not even rich with the whipping cream. It is just boring. I mean, you know, it's kind of quichey. Yeah. Uh you could have it for breakfast. I don't know why. Wow. Yep. That's a Wa Wa Wa. It is. Well, we love to talk about the gifts that are Mary's memo. And this one, I mean, you can make it, but you're going to have to zhuzh like crazy cuz I Yeah, you are. And why would you want to do that? You don't even know if it would turn out great with the zhuzhing, right? What an epic waste. Don't make this, as they would say in Italian. No. Well, that's it for this episode. Thanks so much for joining us. Be sure to mark your calendars for our next episode on January 12th. We are going to have a ball with some fermented food. Oh, you won't want to miss it. Arrivederci!

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