Mom’s Wooden Verschlimmbessern

Mom’s Wooden Verschlimmbessern Transcript

[00:00:00] Carrie, what would you say is your favorite type of cookie? Oh, I love so many. I would go with ginger snaps, molasses crinkles, chocolate chip, lemon. Yeah, well you're really gonna like today's episode then. Oh good, what are we making? Pie. Carrie, we're making pie. What?

[00:00:27] Welcome to Moms Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts. You can say that again. Hello, loyal listeners. Hello, new listeners who have yet to become loyal. Yes. Today we will be making your life a little sweeter with a cookie recipe from the March 24th, 1981, Mary's Nemo.

[00:00:55] I thought you were gonna say it was based on my personality that things are getting sweeter. Oh, that too, Carrie, that too. This is the dessert course for our progressive, non-progressive dinner. Oh, the dessert course is my favorite. I know it is. This is my favorite progressive dinner where we cook all the food and we go nowhere. We don't actually progress. That's right. All right.

[00:01:21] Well, today we are making, it's called Bisquick cream cheese cookies. Yeah. And I have to say, I think in this season of podcast for us, this is this season's impossible pie. That's right. Because we always kind of use Bisquick in something. Yeah. The impossible pies, I want to say, are some of our most popular recipes that we make. Yeah, they're yummy. And so this should be an easy kind of recipe. I think it's going to be really easy because it actually is a bar cookie. Yes.

[00:01:51] I love bar cookies. They're so easy to make. And usually in a bar cookie, you can fit in so many delicious things. Oh, you can. I love to make cookies. Yeah. But the bars are my favorite because you can double the batter. Yep. Put them in the oven. Bada boom, bada bing. You're done. With cookies, you're dropped. You, you know, put them in, turn them around, take them out. That's right. Take them out. Do it again. None of that. This is great. This is really great.

[00:02:21] With butter and brown sugar and walnuts, not our favorite nut, but I thought we'd go ahead and go for what Mary recommended. I noticed that you did that. Yeah. You didn't go off script. I did it. And then what we do is we take half that batter and press it into an eight by eight pan. Okay. And bake it. We save the other half and then we will. Have you become a pre-pubescent boy, Krista? When it's time to change, it's time to rearrange. Oh, Peter.

[00:02:48] And then we will make the cream cheese layer. Cream cheese and one egg, some lemon juice, some vanilla. And we spread that on the baked crust. Yep. And then we take the rest of the dough that we made and we make a crumble for the top. And then do we bake it again? Oh, yes. We bake it again. Yeah. Perfect. That sounds easy peasy lemon squeezy. It sounds too good. Because you said lemon juice. Oh, my gosh. Pulling it all together. That's great. Okay.

[00:03:18] Shall we get started? Yes, we shall. I hope so. Because that's what we do here. Okay. We have to beat the brown sugar and the butter. So that's a half a cup of brown sugar. I'm going to get started on that. Okay. And the butter, which is already cut and room temperature. So while you do that, I shall regale you all with a fabulous tale. Do? Do. Okay. I almost said do tell, but I've noticed I've been saying do tell a lot. Oh.

[00:03:47] And so I was trying to come up with something else. I was like, do what you're going to do. That wasn't for. All right. I like it. All right. So she's going to make some noise as she grabs some brown sugar, but I will not let that stop me. No. So I Googled cream cheese and Bisquick. Ooh. Because I thought we love Bisquick recipes. We do. And I was curious, what else do we have out there that's Bisquick with cream cheese? Oh, fun. Yes. So you found things that you would expect. Yeah.

[00:04:17] An impossible cheesecake. That sounds good. Yes. They all sound delicious. A fruit filled cream cheese coffee cake. Ooh. Yeah. I thought that sounded good. A cream cheese pound cake, cream cheese pancakes, almond cream cheese triangles. Oh, do tell. Dang it. And my most favorite one. Yeah. Cream cheese and Bisquick sausage balls. Cream cheese balls. Haven't you made those before? No.

[00:04:45] I have made Bisquick and sausage balls. Oh, no cream cheese. And you said cheese in it though, but it was like cheddar cheese, right? Right. Yeah. And they are tasty. And if you are looking to whip up a quick little appetizer. Yeah, those are good. They are really good. Yeah. And you can make them into balls and then freeze them. Oh, nice. And so if you have unexpected guests or, you know, whatever happens, you just pull them out, put them on your baking tray, whip, bake them. There you go. Delicious.

[00:05:15] And they're addictive. Oh, nice. Yeah. But I never made any with cream cheese. Okay. I don't know. Not so good. I don't know. Wouldn't the cream? I don't know. Anyway, they're out there if you so desire. So those are the top ones that I found. Nice. Of Bisquick and cream cheese. So if you get going with this and you're like, oh, I need more Bisquick and cream cheese combos. Yes, please. Never fear. The internet is full of opportunities for you. Do. That's funny.

[00:05:44] I tend to think of Bisquick as being a very middle to lower class product. Yeah, that would fit me. Yeah. Yeah. Low class. Carrie's low class. But I actually found a Bisquick recipe from 1935 called Hunt Club Sandwich that was touted by the Countess de Forceville. Shut your face. The Countess de Forceville. Yes. And this is what it said about her, whose charm, great taste, and ingenuity have made her one

[00:06:14] of the most interesting hostesses on New York. On New York. Huh. She is cosmopolitan in matters of cookery as well. Oh my gosh. I want to know her. I know, right? I mean, just the name, Countess de Forceville. Yeah. I'm saying Countess. It's probably Countess, right? Well, it depends on how posh you want to be. That's right. Okay. The Countess, she actually collected specialties from all over the world. And then it continues to say, almost never serves the same dish twice. Oh, Countess.

[00:06:44] And her philosophy is, please the palates of men, and you will have a successful dinner. Oh, geez. I know, right? And never mind. And we're done. But this sandwich would actually go well probably with the asparagus dish that we made last time. Okay. Because it also has the hard-boiled egg in it. Oh, hold me. Oh my gosh. Okay, so I didn't go into the egg farts last time. That's right. But now you're kind of forcing it.

[00:07:14] I am. I am. That would make you an unpleasant guest for the rest of the evening. Yeah. Okay. Countess wrote several books and articles on marriage. Oh. She actually had a book called Marriages Are Made at Home, which is aimed at more sophisticated members of the generation and gives hints on what the wife can do when her husband balls her out before friends. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Huh. Mm-hmm. What she can do. She can ask him to just tell his best story.

[00:07:44] Distract. Distract. Distract. Yep. I like that. If that doesn't work, she can answer back. Ooh. Oh. That's trouble. Yeah. That's trouble. Uh-huh. Or she can become completely silent. Mm-hmm. Silent treatment right there. Is that it? No. It says, or this is a blow between the eyes. She can leave the room. Stop out aggressively. I know, right? Oh, I like it. This is what I keep thinking of. My daughter was recently in Chicago. She was one of the Mary murderers.

[00:08:11] So each, if you're not familiar, each person is in jail. This is so funny. You said she was recently in Chicago when she was one of the Mary murderers. And I'm thinking she's in Chicago, Illinois. Of course. And she's a murderer. Let me try again. My daughter was recently in the musical Chicago. There you go. And one of the characters she played was a Mary murderer. Here we go. A bunch of women. They're in jail for various reasons. Yeah. They all love to claim their innocence. Yeah. And so they each tell their tale. Mm-hmm.

[00:08:40] And her tale was, she was at home preparing dinner and her husband came in screaming at her. Yeah. And she just turned to talk to him and he ran into her knife. He ran into her knife nine times. Ooh. The countess did not recommend that. I didn't. But that's what I kept thinking. That would have been pretty good. Falls you out in front of their friends. How rude. How rude. Dang.

[00:09:07] Well, I think I need to go ahead and get this brown sugar and butter creamed before we do anything else. So unless you have a story to tell, I don't, but I have to say, this is a very violent recipe. We're beating your creaming things. All right. We'll see you guys in a minute with some creamed butter. And maybe only one of us will be back.

[00:09:42] The butter and the sugar's been creamed. It is. It looks fluffy and lovely. I beat the heck out of it. You did. Better it than me. It had it coming. It had it coming. Who did that from Chicago? You know, I had it self to blame. That's one of the Mary Murderer's sing, Kristen. Yeah. Oh, I'm so good, man. Look at you. Yeah. Okay. So now we're going to add the bisquick and the nuts. Yes. And mix that together. That's right. You know, speaking of bisquick. Yeah.

[00:10:12] In 1981, the year that this recipe came out, bakers at the South Carolina Peach Festival used bisquick to make the world's largest peach shortcake. That sounds delicious. I know, right? Right. It measured 25 and a half feet in diameter. Wow. It gained its title by using more than four tons of bisquick. OMG. I know, right? You'd have to get a BOGO sale on that to be able to afford that.

[00:10:40] That's even more bisquick than Kristen has. I know, right? And then how many peaches was it? It was a heck of a lot of peaches. Nine tons of peaches. Did they dig a pit and fill it with coals and bacon in that? Like they do in defiance for the world's biggest sub sandwich or whatever that was? Yeah, I'm sure they did. Oh my goodness. So again, we're going to have to go bye-bye. I think we're going to have to go bye-bye a lot. Yeah, I think.

[00:11:07] Hopefully, maybe we won't music each time we go. I'm going to be really sick of the music. Yeah. We're just going to disappear and then we're back. Yeah. Just like that. Should we make that sound each time? Okay. We'll see you in a minute. We've gone a long time. To you, it was two seconds. Oh my goodness. Well, now we have the bisquick all mixed in there with the nuts and it really is a very crumbly, dry... Yeah.

[00:11:37] It reminds me a lot of making shortbread. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's not until you kind of start pushing it down that it creates its form. That's right. Yep. And so it'll make a great crumble. And so I'm just kind of scooping this in with my hands. They're washed. She didn't wash them. I washed them. You know what? You guys don't have to eat it. What do you care? That's true. Yeah. And then after this, we'll get this in the oven and start working on the cream cheese mixture. Yeah. And I have to say, cream cheese is where I am going to come to life. You are.

[00:12:06] Oh, do I have things. Oh my goodness. I went down a rabbit hole, Kristen. You did? I am so excited. I'm a little nervous about this, Carrie. Oh, you should be. And we don't have anything to be saved by the bell. Oh yeah. 12 minutes. You have 12 minutes. That's how long this bakes. And then we'll all be saved by the bell. No, because then it has to cool. We can't just put cream cheese mixture right on top of that. Dang it, Carrie. It doesn't mention cooling. So I don't know if we will just try it.

[00:12:39] I'm patient. Yeah. I'm patient. Kristen. She's just go, go, go. That's me. Yeah. Militant. That's me. Militant lady. All right. How does that look? That's a little crumpler than shortbread. Yeah. It'll make a nice press. I will. I think that's not true. How hard to push it down. Press. It just says press. That's what I'm doing. I don't know how specifically do you say press with all your might? Press for your life. For your life. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's good. I think as long as it's kind of staying together.

[00:13:10] Which I think it is. Okay. So you lifted it up. Is the powder going to all fall off? I don't think so. Because then you haven't pressed enough. Okay. What do you think? I think that looks. Oh, yeah. That's good. Pretty good? Yeah. All right. And plus maybe the cream cheese aligned to it. Yeah. I didn't wash my hands. Oh, gross. Yeah. And she just farted. And pet the dog. Oh. Oh, yeah. And all kinds of other. Wiped without washing. Things you can't say on TV. Oh, nose picking. Oh, yeah. For sure. For sure. All right. Let me get this in there. Okay. Put it in there.

[00:13:39] And while you do that, then we'll start on our cream cheese mixture using the best cream cheese. Philadelphia cream cheese. That's true. We don't have that. We have generic cream cheese. But let's go with Philadelphia cream cheese. Yeah. Which is the best cream cheese, really? It is indeed. Philadelphia cream cheese. Yeah. Not created in Philadelphia. Not manufactured in Philadelphia. What? True story. I had no idea. I thought this was fascinating. It's from New York. Oh.

[00:14:09] In the late 1800s, a dude named William Lawrence, we'll call him Billy. Yeah. Old Bill. Uh-huh. Billy tried to make, and I don't know how to pronounce this, a newcatel. A newcatel. Yeah, I don't know how to pronounce it. Say it again, Carrie. Newcatel. Newcatel. Cheese Louise. I don't know how to pronounce it either. Good God. Please stop. Isn't that light cream cheese? Newcatel.

[00:14:41] It's a creamy cheese. Oh. He added too much cream into his. Oh. And made a brand new one, which he was trying to figure out what to name. He started making it. It became popular there in New York. Uh-huh. And then he partnered with a distributor, and the distributor came up with the name Philadelphia cream cheese. Nobody knows why. Oh. Because it has nothing to do with Philadelphia. Yeah. I thought that was fascinating. Yeah.

[00:15:09] So then as I'm looking up cream cheeses and other things, I found that there are cream cheeses that are titled like a cream cheese schmear. What? Yes. I mean, I do like a good schmear on a bagel. Well, so as I started looking about schmear on a bagel, I'm like, well, let's delve into this. Yeah. And that is the first rabbit hole through which I found. The schmear. I'm going to open this cream cheese while you're right before you tell me about the schmear. With the New York accent she's got going there. Of course. Okay.

[00:15:40] So schmear is a Yiddish term meant to spread as in cheese. It's specifically cheese that you're spreading. Oh, cool. Okay. But schmears are a very specific thing. It's not just spreading cream cheese. Oh. It is schmear would be a verb. You're spreading a cheese. Okay. We're going to schmear. A schmear is a thing. I had no idea. This is why I found it fascinating.

[00:16:04] So as bagels became super famous in New York and schmearing something on them became super famous in New York, they started to create schmears, which would be taking kind of cream and cheese, not kind of, taking cream and cheese and then adding some other ingredients to create a smoother, creamier, flavorful texture.

[00:16:32] I had no idea. Yes. Because you're right. Because cream cheese is not that easy to spread. No. Not at all. And that's why they make whipped cream cheese. Right. So that you can schmear it. But it is not a schmear. It's not a schmear. No. So you take your cream cheese, you add in things and you can have a plain schmear, a veggie schmear, a chive schmear, an olive schmear. You can do anything you want. Maple syrup schmear. It doesn't matter. Yum. Yes.

[00:16:59] And then I thought, well, how much do you put on? Yeah. Because I... You thought that? I did. How much schmear do you use? How much schmear do you use? And I found the answer for you people. Oh my gosh. Yes. One ounce of schmear per side of bagel is the ideal bread to cheese ratio. I had not a clue. I didn't either. It doesn't seem like enough schmear for me. So I get... Bagel with cream cheese because I'm a Dunkin' Donuts, right? Yeah. Not exactly known for its, you know, bagels. Right.

[00:17:27] But what drives me nuts is they put it on one side of the bagel. Oh. So you either have to eat a bagel sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. Or you have to figure out how to transfer the... Oh, that's right, man. And I'm not a fan of the bagel sandwich. I'm on the bottom of the bagel. And then I like to save the top of the bagel for last. Oh. Because it's the best. It has the best stuff. Like, especially with an everything bagel. Yes. Yum. Exactly. Exactly.

[00:17:55] So anyway, so I thought that that was pretty fancy and fascinating. That is. And then it got me thinking, well, what other amazing Yiddish terms are we using in real life and don't know? Oh, I love Yiddish terms. Yeah. Okay. Bagel. Okay. Yiddish term. I did not know that. I did not either. What? Here's another good one. Glitch. Your computer, you know, walks out of it. Glitches. Yeah. Yiddish term. Oh, neat. Yes. Some others. If you're going to schmooze someone. Yeah. Yiddish term. Oh, my gosh.

[00:18:24] If you're a klutz. Yeah. Yiddish. Oh, my goodness. If I'm a salesperson and I want to give you my spiel. Yep. Yeah. I was like, oh, my gosh. All these. There are tons more. I just picked out the ones I thought you were most likely to know. That's right. And then there was from Laverne and Shirley. Oh, Shamil. Shamazel. They're each two word. They're each a word. Yeah. Both with their own separate meaning. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I thought that was super cool. Okay, Carrie. We need to go ahead and mix this cream cheese mixture. Fine. All right.

[00:18:54] What's the sound you're going to make when we go? It's ridiculous. Well, in typical Kristen and Carrie style. Yeah. We, A, forgot to turn on the timer. Uh-huh. So, we guessed on how long that crust should be in there. Oh, there's the timer right now. That we set far too late. Yeah. We're looking back through the recording trying to find my previous. Yes. We didn't find it. That was awful.

[00:19:20] And then, apparently, I did not, not apparently, I did not stick the cream cheese in my bra to get it warm enough. Oh. And so, when we made this mixture, it kind of looks like small curd cottage cheese. It does. It does. But we got the whisk out and we whisked the heck out of it. Yeah. So, it's like extra small curd cottage cheese. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. And this cream cheese mixture is a whole lot liquidier than I thought it was going to be. I thought we were going to have a schmear. Yeah.

[00:19:48] I thought for sure that we were going to have to schmear it on. Yeah. And then we were wondering, well, don't you have to chill the crust first? Right. Yeah. Because we're going to pull up all this delicious crust. No, no. This is totally liquidy. It is just pourable. Yes. And so, let's see. You're going to spread, but it says spread. Spread cream cheese mixture over layer in pan and then sprinkle with crumbly mixture and bake for 25 minutes until firm. That makes sense. Yeah. Okay. Because it's very liquidy. Very. All right. I'm going to pour this in.

[00:20:16] We'll see if it runs all over or if it just kind of... No, it doesn't run. It's not that liquidy. No, I guess it's okay. It's kind of running toward the edges a little bit, but the crust is very hot. As is the pan. Yeah. Yeah. Well, while Kristen does this, she is deep in concentration. I am. I will teach you some new words. Are they Yiddish? No, I did all my Yiddish ones. So, we're moving on to German. Okay, fine. So, I picked my term, Kristen. Yeah. Having no idea what this cooking experience would be like. Oh.

[00:20:45] But boy, oh boy, does it hit home. Does it really? Oh, yes, it does. Okay. So, this is going to take me a little bit. Oh. But it's Werschlembesem. Werschlembesem. Werschlembesem. Okay. Okay. All right. And we have Werschlembesem the heck out of this recipe. Oh, what is that? That is the experience of trying to do something with utter perfection, but ending up doing it wrong. Oh my gosh, that's us. That word describes Mom's Wooden Spoon podcast. Let's just retitle it. Yes, we should.

[00:21:14] Mom's Wooden Werschlembesem. We're taking our sign off from, well, we Werschlembesem again. Oh, that's flipping. That's kind of the way I live life. Yeah, it is. That was totally apropos. All right. Let's get this in the oven. Okay. I'm going to actually set the timer for 25 minutes. That's perfect. Okay. Well, now I'm going to educate you all about cookies. Oh, okay. This sounds great.

[00:21:44] It is because cookies are delicious and wonderful. Yes. All right. Did you know that there were two types of Girl Scout cookies that were retired the year this recipe came out? 1981. Hmm. And so I can't really ask you if you can guess what they were because they've been retired for so long. You were real little in 1981. You wouldn't remember Girl Scout cookies. Well, I mean, maybe I was of the age to sell Girl Scouts. That's true. But I'll be honest, I was in brownies for all of like four months and went. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even ever sell them.

[00:22:14] My friend, Jay, she was very disappointed with me for quitting the brownies. Oh, Keri. I know. I had no stick to it-ness. Such a quitter. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, I don't even have a guess. So I am not surprised that this one was retired. They were called the forget-me-nots. Oh, I've heard of those. What? True story. What are they made of then? I want to say like a shortbread-y thing. Nope. They were like an oatmeal raisin cookie. Oh. Yeah.

[00:22:40] They actually were called old-fashioned granola type cookie with oats and your favorite raisins. So I, oddly enough, love a good oatmeal raisin cookie. You do? With your hatred of the raisin? No nuts. Cannot have nuts. Oh, no. And it has to be soft. Oh, yes. The crunchy oatmeal cookie. Not your favorite. Ew. But you know, Girl Scout cookies are crunchy. Right. So I can see that. I love that. And oatmeal raisin cookies are extremely polarizing. Well, they are. I love them. I like them too.

[00:23:10] But people are. There are people that make fun of them online. Like, I don't trust a person who would go up to a cookie buffet and choose over chocolate chip cookies the oatmeal raisin. Yeah. And I totally would. I might. Yeah. Because I don't ever get them. Yeah. And no one else in my house likes them. And they mock me endlessly. Aw, I won't mock you, Carrie. You totally would not mock me. Yeah. Okay. The other one is odd that it was discontinued. It's called Chocolate Chunks. Okay. I have not heard of that one.

[00:23:39] Basically a chocolate chip cookie that could be warmed in the micro for home style softness. Oh. I'm shocked that that one went away. You think that would be a super popular one? Maybe it's just too run of the mill. Maybe. You know, you wanted something a little different with your Girl Scout cookie. Yeah. I had a Girl Scout arrive at the door and she said, hello, your husband bought three boxes of cookies. Where's the money? I'm like, dang it. Let me get my purse. Hilarious.

[00:24:10] I am a firm believer that if you are willing to come to my door and ask me to buy whatever you are peddling. Yeah. And you are under the age of 18. Yep. I'll buy it. You're buying it, baby. There are times that kids have come to my door peddling things that I am pretty sure are a scam of all scams. I buy it. Support that kiddo. And so talking about these discontinued Girl Scout cookies made me think of these cookies that we used to have in the 70s. I don't know if you remember them or if you even liked them. Okay. They were called windmill cookies.

[00:24:41] They were the ones in a bag, right? Pepperidge Farm? Yeah. Yeah. No, wait. They weren't Pepperidge Farm. Let me look and see. I wrote down. They were Archway. Yes. Yes. Okay. So my most favorite Archway cookies are the lemon cookies with the lemon frosting. Lemon coolers. Yeah. But I do recall the windmill because they're like ginger-ish. Yeah. They're like a Swedish spiced cookie and they had little sliced almonds in them too. Yes. I remember thinking that that was so delicious. I didn't like them. I knew you wouldn't. No. They're crispy and boring.

[00:25:11] Yeah. I didn't particularly care for them. But I do remember. Did they not make them anymore? I think they might. I don't see them very... You know where I see them? Aldi. Aldi has those. Oh, okay. Which made me think of it. I was shopping at Aldi the other day. I was like, windmill cookies. I should get them. I couldn't get the windmill cookies because my husband had already bought three boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Thank you very much. You know what? What? You didn't let it stop you with the bisquick. That's true. Yeah. Priorities, Kristen. Priorities. Yeah. All right.

[00:25:38] Another thing that happened in 1981, something that you used to use as your entire meal when you were a young adult. Popcorn. Microwave popcorn came out in 81. I was like, it's cereal or popcorn because that's all I ate for a good three years. And also Diet Coke came out in 81. So you could have had your Diet Coke and your microwave popcorn. I made some microwave popcorn just the other day. Really? It had been a long time since I had made popcorn.

[00:26:05] Actually, the last time I had made popcorn is when we made our caramel corn recipe. What? Yes. For Mary's Memo. Wow. And then about a month later, I did more of that caramel corn recipe. Oh, did you really? Yeah. That was so good. So good. And so I haven't had popcorn since. I have the little teeny tiny bags of my green popcorn. Kind of keeps you in control. Yeah. And I decided to make some. Yeah. And it is just good. It is good. It is so bad for you, but it is so good.

[00:26:35] You know what's really bad for you is if you smell it. Yes. I've heard of popcorn lung. Yes. I know. Okay. So first off, I mean, yeah, it smells good. But you dig in your nose into a bag of popcorn to inhale deeply. That just seems like a bad choice. Well, you know, when you open that bag, all that steam goes right in your face. It does. But do you inhale while you got a face full of steam? Well, heck yeah, you do. Oh, it hurts. Get out the way. Get out the way. Yeah. And then stick your nose. No, I'm kidding. Yeah.

[00:27:02] I did not inhale it because I was familiar with the popcorn lung. I think a lot of popcorn lungs are from people who work in the factories. Oh, I just remember reading a story about a dude that ate a bag of microwave popcorn at night. And it was always buttered. And he loved the smell. And so he would nestle his nose right on up in that bag and inhale deeply. It was just part of his pleasure of eating the popcorn. And he would just get a lung full of chemical. I know.

[00:27:30] And he had like bad popcorn lung. That's insane. I had no idea. Yeah. I don't know his name. I don't know anything more about it. Oh my gosh. Other than that. That's crazy. Yeah. But other than killing you, it's delicious. It is delicious. Yeah. And then I read a news article from 1981. Fancy that. Yeah. I see a theme here. It was a music news story. Okay. And no, I'm not going to sing you a song. You're welcome. Yeah. Yep. It was from the British phonographic industry.

[00:28:00] Okay. They apparently started taking out newspaper ads, unveiling their new slogan, Home taping is killing music. And it's illegal. Oh. Ooh. All those tapes of radio songs that I had. Yep. All those mixtapes. Illegal. Mm-hmm. They wanted people to stop. They were so worried that music artists, well, actually that the industry would lose lots of money. Sure. Because all these mixtapes. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:28:28] I mean, it was hard though, trying to cut off the DJ. It was hard. Oh, it was nothing worse than when they talk over the intro to the song. What jerks, man. You're like, shut up, DJ. Nobody wants to hear you. That's right. Man, so then you'd hear someone, and up next is, and you're like, stop it. I have to wait another two hours to record it. I have to sit right here staring at my radio to record this. How else am I going to make a mixtape of love songs for some guy I'm never going to give it to? I know.

[00:28:58] Because he doesn't know I actually have a crush on him. Exactly. How are you going to do that, Carrie? Right. So rude. Ruined. So ruined. And the other 1981 music news is a very sad one for me. The Bay City Rollers broke up. Oh, that's sad. Did they break up on a Saturday? I'm so proud of myself. I'm so impressed, man.

[00:29:26] Well, I can barely say it. I was so excited. I don't know that we can beat that. So I think we better go away for a while because Carrie was funny. I mean, my wit knows no bounds. It doesn't, Carrie. It doesn't. Oh, my goodness. I love that you laugh every time I do it. It's so weird. People are going to be like, will they stop doing this on the next episode? Because this is annoying.

[00:29:58] Well, the cookie bars are out of the oven and they smell great and look beautiful. It really does. Yeah, we're both looking at the side. Yeah, it looks almost like a little cheesecake bar. It does. Which is probably what it would be just like. Yeah. The crust is very brown because it has brown sugar in it. Yeah. And then it's got the walnuts in it. Nice. More importantly than the recipe. Yeah. However, I looked up popcorn lung guy. Oh, my gosh. Poor guy, man. Yeah. Wayne Watson. Poor Wayne.

[00:30:26] Wayne was in his 50s, married, and he loved, he, some extra butter microwave popcorn. I mean, yummers. So, Wayne said that he spent seven to eight years eating two plus bags a day of extra butter microwave popcorn. Wow. Yeah. So, apparently, he thought he was being healthy. He was not choosing candy.

[00:30:56] He was not choosing fast food. Yeah. So, he'd have a bag at work. And they loved movies. And so, he'd have a bag at home in the evenings, sometimes two. Oh, my golly. His wife said that they went through, I don't remember what it was, but it was like three cases of popcorn, microwave popcorn a month. Ooh. It was insane. You know, I think we come back to all things in moderation. Absolutely. Yeah. Wayne was not living a life of moderation.

[00:31:24] Not that he deserved popcorn lung. No way. But other than the people who got it at the factory, Wayne was the popcorn dude I was thinking of. Oh, my goodness. Poor Wayne. Yeah. He said he never thought he'd get his 30 seconds of fame. And he surely never thought it would be for this. I bet not. What a horrible way to get your 30 seconds of fame. I know. But, oh, and FYI, in case you're concerned about Wayne and his health. Yeah. At the worst, he had lost 50% lung capacity. Jeez. Yeah.

[00:31:53] But after discovering what it was, obviously stopping the microwave popcorn, he was back up to 75. Oh. Lung capacity. 75% lung capacity. Yeah. So, I think Wayne was doing fine. Doing okay. And he got a big settlement too. He did. Yeah. $7 million. Well deserved. I think Wayne's doing perfectly fine. Well, that's good. Yes. Yeah. I would be perfectly fine if we could get this cookie in my mouth, but I think it needs to wait just a few minutes more. Yeah.

[00:32:21] You know, there is some concern when you have something kind of liquidy going in a cookie that you're going to pull it out and it's going to be molten lava in your mouth. Yeah. And pour everywhere on the counter. So, I don't want that. Down your shirt scalding you. Oh, that would be bad. It would be like the McDonald's coffee lady. Oh, poor lady. That's kind of poor people. Oh, that's awful. It is. She got burnt. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I did this on the podcast or not, but I recently looked her up. Yeah. I don't know.

[00:32:51] Was it for the podcast? It might have been because I think you found out or I found out that really it wasn't her being silly. It wasn't her fault, which really all the news made it seem like what a dum-dum. Yes. Coffee's hot. Hello. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And that it was like a known issue at McDonald's. Yeah. And they decided to slant the articles in the story and make it sound like it was all her. And she really had like third degree burns and really grafting. I mean, like it was for serious stuff. Yeah.

[00:33:21] But yeah. So aren't we a bummer here? Oh my gosh. Popcorn lung and her skin. Wow. Well, while we wait for a couple more seconds, I'll tell you one more thing from 1981 and then I'll be done. Okay. So are you going to keep flailing that knife around as you do it? I am. I'm gesticulating with the knife, but it has a sheath on it. Yeah. Okay. Great. Totally feeling safe now. We started this recipe with beatings and now she's got the flailing knife. Carrie had it coming.

[00:33:50] Oh, she's going to pull her Countess horse bell on it. Yeah, I am, baby. Yay, yay, yay. All right. So there was a really great article about newspapers trying to get their issues out to home computers. Okay. And this was in 1981. It showed a video of a man in San Francisco who was just trying the system. So it was really cool. He picked up his rotary phone. Oh my gosh. He dialed a local number and then he put his phone receiver down on this little device.

[00:34:20] Oh yeah. I totally know what you're talking about. Really? Yeah. They're like two little black cushion things that the receiver goes on. And then that connected him to a computer, oddly enough, in Columbus, Ohio. Okay. But of course. Right. Right. And then that sent the San Francisco Examiner newspaper for their regular edition, except for all the pictures and comics, to his television. But his television had a keyboard set up to it. Okay. Connected to it.

[00:34:49] It was very weird. And the man said he really loved it because anything he was interested in, he could go back in at any time and print it out, which is what a newspaper is. Right. So I don't think people quite had the idea of it and they didn't have the technology. Because the cool thing about having news online now is you can get it on your phone. You don't have to put your receiver on the little thing on your desk.

[00:35:19] I mean, but think about when computers first came out, the stupid things that you would do. Yeah. I would write my paper on a computer and print it out and edit it by hand using, you know, like the little hand edit thing. Yes. Moving stuff around, move it here, move it there, read it all, go back in, fix those things. Wow. And then print it out once it was all done. That's right.

[00:35:45] It was so much easier to edit it on paper because that's what you're used to doing. That's right. Yeah. I still look at like my daughter who writes papers on the computer, edits them on the computer. Yeah. Of course she does. Turns them in on the computer. It's crazy. No, we had to print them out. We did. Hand them in. Hand them in. Yes. You would do weird things like that. That's true. That's true. Because you just weren't used to a world of no printed anything. Exactly. Yeah. That's weird.

[00:36:14] I thought that was interesting. That is some great lengths to go to, to get some news. I know, right? Yeah. I think I'd just walk out to the sidewalk and pick my paper. Grab your newspaper. Yeah. Yeah. Send your dog out to get it. I mean, my well-trained dog. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Who didn't slobber on it at all. At all. Right. Okay. Did I take enough time for us to be able to taste this now? I don't know. You're going first, so I guess we'll find out. Oh, okay. Yeah. What size did she say to cut it in? I forget. Yeah.

[00:36:42] She said that we were going to get 16 pieces. So I believe it was like two inch squares. So when I read the recipe to Kristen, I then said to her, oh, so we'll get probably like six. That's right. Four cookies out of this. Yes. We'll just cut that sucker. It's an eight by eight pan. Yeah. I mean, that's not much. No. At all. No. So should I make them like this? I think. Okay. Are you going to try and get, I mean, that would be like four rows is what she's counting on. Okay. We'll give it a try.

[00:37:12] Three rows is kind of how I roll, but. Well, here's what, I started this row, so we'll just see from there on. Yes. Normally what happens is you get one really nicely sized row. That's right. That's right. One row that's too big and then two that are so small, you can't hardly even get them out. Exactly. I'm going to do it this way. It is finger food. It is finger food. I'm worried that this is not going to come out well. It's very soft. Well, the first piece is always pretty bad. Oh. Perfect. Oh, it's gorgeous. This is really nice. I can't wait to take a picture.

[00:37:41] It might be fun to eat warm. Which we are doing. Which we are doing. We might do an answer. It works. I know, right? It's really lovely. It has the little bit of a darker brown for the bottom crust and then the pure white layer of the cream cheese and then that kind of lighter golden brown of the crumbie. Crumbie. It looks crumble. Delicious. Oh, it really does. I can't wait to try this and I'm so glad I get to go first.

[00:38:09] And I had to shove my nose into it as I went to take a picture. Yeah. And it smells amazing. It'll be interesting because it had an entire tablespoon of lemon juice in the cream cheese. So I'll be interested to see if we can taste that. It doesn't smell fruity. It smells nutty and quite delicious. I'm trying to think of what it looks similar to because it reminds me of something, but I can't quite figure it out.

[00:38:36] But the cream cheese in the middle is kind of cheesecake-y looking. It is. It's very much a cheesecake cookie. It is heavenly. Is it? Because you didn't taste it up. You didn't kind of make the face you normally make when you love something. It is really... I was thinking... I was trying to think about how to explain it. Okay. It's almost like a pecan sandy that you crunched up, especially on the top. It's obviously a walnut sandy, but a yummy short crust, shortbread crust with the cream cheese layer. And then almost like it's crunched up pecan sandies.

[00:39:06] The top is amazing. It's delicious. And the cream cheese does not taste lemony at all. No, but you know, I'm curious if I would like it more without the lemon. I might. I don't... Or a little sprinkle of cinnamon. Right. It had vanilla as well. Mm-hmm. Because so far, I love the texture and I love the texture of the cream in the middle, but the cream almost has a little too much tart for the sweet top and the sweet bottle. Although maybe that's a good thing. Maybe. I don't know.

[00:39:35] That's why I was thinking like cinnamon. If you put cinnamon in it, that might be delicious. And even more of a warm flavor. I think you could kind of mess around and try different things. I think you should. I mean, you could add fruit into that. You could do anything you wanted with that. Oh, boy. That would be so good. Wow. This is really, really delicious. And you don't have to eat it like it's a cookie. You wouldn't have to tell anybody this is a cookie. This could just be a little dessert on your plate. A little ice cream with it.

[00:40:05] Oh, my goodness. Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah. And this is really easy to make. Oh, my gosh. I mean, it's a Bisquick recipe. This is why people love Bisquick. Yeah. Because it's just so simple. Yeah. Yeah, very tasty. Wow. Mm-hmm. I'm impressed. I like it. I think cinnamon is my next. Nice. My next shot. I like the way she says that. Sure, Carrie. I don't know that I would go that way, but okay. Only if you don't like nice things. That's exactly what you'd want to do. That's right. My goodness. With all of our mess-ups.

[00:40:36] I mean, the fact that the bottom crust is not rock hard or burned or raw. Raw. It's pretty remarkable. Yeah. And I don't know if we told you guys. Did we say that we didn't get the cream cheese thawed well enough, so it ended up, instead of being a smooth, creamy liquid, it was more like cottage cheese. Yeah, but you can't tell. No. It's perfectly smooth. No. It looks and tastes beautiful.

[00:41:00] And as much as I am not a fan of walnuts, they're delicious in this. Absolutely. I don't think pecans would have changed the flavor at all, really. No, I don't think that they would have been any better than what that is. No. And walnuts are a heck of a lot cheaper, so go for that. Yes. Absolutely. Wow. And if you don't have enough Bisquick, fear not. Just call Kristen. She can help you out. I'll send you some in the mail. I got mocha. No problem. All right. Well, that's it for this episode.

[00:41:30] Thanks so much for joining us on our final delicious dessert on our progressive meal that's not really progressive. Progresses no more. I've had a lot of fun. I hope you did. Be sure to mark your calendars for our next episode on May 5th. We only have two more episodes in season three. Wow. I know. So you won't want to miss them. Darn Skippy. Bye.

[00:41:59] Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode, go to our website, momswoodenspoon.com. If you'd rather, check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. So did you really like it? I love it. I'm not sure that... I love the lemon. I think maybe we could substitute something for it, like maybe double the vanilla. Yeah. Or what about almond extract?

[00:42:29] Oh, dang it. That's my line. I'm still stuck on the cinnamon. Yeah. Almond. Maybe almond and a little cinnamon. What else? Cinnamon, cinnamon. Don't forget the cinnamon. Lots of spices. Very nice. But don't forget the cinnamon and almond.