Pratfalls & Smoking Fruit

Transcript:

[00:00:00] Well, Carrie, we're back for season five, and I'm pretty sure I can hear some of our listeners laughing maniacally. Why? Because of what they decided we should make this first episode. Well, you did give them four really weird choices to choose from. That's true. It's my own dang fault. It always is, Kristen. It always is.

[00:00:26] Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro, and so are your hosts. You can say that again. Welcome back, Carrie. Thank you, Kristen. Welcome back, valued listeners. Valued listeners, it's season five. Five.

[00:00:52] I can't believe that we like each other enough to get together five years in a row. I mean, yeah. Yeah. I think if anybody laid bets on us when this started, five years would not have come up.

[00:01:37] No. We made a social media post that allowed you all to vote for your favorite dish to torture us with. Yeah. I mean, you know, we don't hear from y'all a whole lot on social media. Mm-hmm. But when we ask how should we torture ourselves all of a sudden, everybody's there. They're coming out of the woodwork. Yeah. Yeah. Just to remind y'all, your choices were Velveeta stuffed cheese log. That would have been okay. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Maybe.

[00:02:07] Yeah. Miracle Whip pineapple Yule log. Oh, right. Nice. Yeah. You make it in a coffee can. Mm-hmm. There's a lot of things about that that seem wrong. Yeah. Mystery salad. Ooh. Yeah. Boy, did it have a mystery in it. She knew. Ruh, bro. And Hellman's cranberry candle salad. With a real working birthday candle shoved down it. Yes. Yes.

[00:02:36] And the winner was mystery salad. Oh, I love a good mystery. Me too, Carrie. Really, it's just potato salad. No big whoop, right? Right. Yeah. But instead of potatoes, the mystery part is green bananas. So I hate bananas. Yeah. Yeah. And I was pretty appalled by this. Yeah.

[00:03:03] And so we got to doing research and I'm like, what is up with this? Yeah. It turns out it's a Caribbean recipe. You're kidding. Duh. Why would you have as a starchy kind of food plantains? Right. So you chuck those suckers up and make a potato salad. Oh, that makes so much sense. Yes. But this recipe that it comes from is a 1977 cookbook called the Dole Banana Bananza.

[00:03:30] So of course, Dole's not going to use plantains. No. They're going to say, get yourself some green bananas. Right. And then they called it mystery salad. Right. And it sounded horrible. I think it would be better with plantains to be quite honest, because they're not as sweet. They're starchy. They're more like a banana. I mean, I've had plain, they're more like a banana. No. They're more like a potato. Oh my gosh. I'm so worried about this. I can't use words. I'm really, really worried about this because here's what you have to do folks.

[00:04:00] Oh, it's weird. But. Yeah. This part is accurate to the Caribbean recipe. Really? Yes. You have to boil the green bananas in their skins. Yes. And then you let them cool, peel them and then chop them up like they were potatoes. The rest of it is a daggone potato salad. Yes. Mustard, mayo, green onion, celery, a little bit of vinegar, salt. And so Carrie and I are like, I think this is going to be nasty. If it were plantains, fine. Green bananas, no. So we're like, okay.

[00:04:30] And what is it going to do to the texture of a green banana? I'm going to be boiling the green bananas is just going to turn it into mush. That's what I think. I think this is going to be awful. Unlike a plantain. Right. Right. And so we were so worried about this that we decided let's make a fun banana recipe that's pretty easy that might make a smile. Yes. While we're gagging down Mystery South. Yes. Right? Bling, bling. Kristen, answer your banana phone. Hello.

[00:05:00] Hi. We're going to make some banana roll ups. I wish y'all could see us. We are both talking into our banana phone. Banana. I shot Kristen. I pulled my banana out of my homester. Pew, pew, pew. We're trying to have fun because we're scared crapless about this mystery salad. I don't even want to eat the banana roll up. I know, right? She doesn't even like bananas.

[00:05:24] And all it is are two big old bananas rolled in cinnamon sugar, rolled in pike dough, and then we bake it, and then we make a lemon sauce that has an entire stick of butter in it. So I think that it's going to be delicious. I might just drink the lemon sauce. That's really the only part. I mean, I'm okay with the pie crust. Yeah. I'm okay with the cinnamon sugar. And I am okay with the lemon sauce. Yeah. Maybe just mix the bananas. Yeah. Do we have apples? And no. Dang it.

[00:05:54] All right. So we're actually going to start off making something that's not mystery salad. Right. So we want to get it in the oven so that it's ready to go. But first. What? In preparation for the mystery salad. Yeah. We need to start the Berlin. Oh yeah. We got to start a big pot of Berlin water. Yes. So while that boils, then we're going to banana roll up. We can make these banana roll ups. Yes. Okay. So we'll get that on the stove. We're going to multitask. That's going to be scary.

[00:06:23] There'll probably be zero talking. I don't know if y'all remember our first season when we would make cookies. We struggled mightily. We stopped making cookies for the longest time. Yeah. The futzier the recipe, the harder it is to talk. Yes. While you're doing it. It really was hard for us. Now we can do it pretty much. We'll just stop and talk. Now Kristen does the work and I talk. Yeah. That's exactly right. It works out perfectly. Yeah.

[00:06:51] When she wants me to work, then it's just silence. It's so awkward. It's so awkward. Okay. So Carrie, how about if I talk and you make cinnamon sugar on a paper plate? Okay. Is the water boiling for the bananas? Do we need to get them done? It's getting there. I got them on there. Slow your roll is what I was saying. Carrie, slow your dang roll. Okay. How long does this have to cook? Let's see. You have to heat the oven to 450 hot. And then... 12 minutes or until golden brown. Wow. Okay. Then we thought we'd take them out and let them cool.

[00:07:21] Yes. Make our mystery salad. Make the lemon sauce so it's hot, hot, hot and good. Yes. And then eat all together so that we can take a bite of mystery salad, start gagging and then shovel banana roll ups in our face. Correct. Or at least a scoop of lemon sauce. Pie dough with lemon sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, the water's burning so let me put bananas in there. I bought very, very green bananas at the Costco and they overnight aren't so green anymore. No, did you know?

[00:07:50] So I've heard stories about bananas and that they're artificially yellowed. Oh, really? Yeah, so... Okay, so first off, let me just start by saying bananas, one of the most flippin' fascinating fruits that I have ever seen the likes. I have never seen the likes of that, Carol. Oh, yeah, so I'm gonna tell you all kinds of crap about bananas that you probably never wanted to know. How did we get so lucky? But they're fascinating. Oh, but are they? Oh, they are. Oh, okay. So one of the things is, so they're picked super crazy green.

[00:08:20] Okay, yeah. Because they have to travel from afar. Yeah. And so then when they get to their destination, they're still green. Yeah. They don't want to sit on these bananas for a long time. Right. So whatever the chemical is in bananas that makes them turn yellow, they put them in a room and add that smoke. No way! To the room. And then, so it's artificial, but it's not. Do you know what I mean? I do, I do. Yeah, yeah. That a banana would produce.

[00:08:50] It's the same reason that like you can put a banana in a baggie with another fruit. Oh, yes, yes, yes. And it'll help ripen that fruit. Or if you have a ripening banana next to other fruit in a fruit bowl, that stuff will get ripen real fast. Because bananas produce a lot of that chemical. Okay, yeah. So they just add in that chemical to turn them yellow. Interesting. Okay, so now I have the cinnamon sugar bananas in the pie crust. Great. I'm supposed to fold them up and like four sides like a blanket and then roll it around

[00:09:19] so it looks like a big inappropriate thing. Oh! And then sprinkle it with the leftover cinnamon sugar. All right. So don't take the cinnamon sugar away. Back away. Yes. Oh, we love it. Holy, holy, holy. I'm gonna wrap those up the sides. I'm gonna flip up this. Over the top. Oh, that's yours too. And then you're supposed to roll it kinda so that it's tight around the banana. Actually, mine's just breaking the dough. It's lovely. Oh, that boy, that looks pretty. Not one bit. You did great, Kristen.

[00:09:49] Thanks. Carrie? Even though it's sarcasm. Oh, my gosh! What? The bananas in the pot have turned black. That makes sense. Wow! All right, there's my banana. Okay, you know what? Instead of sprinkling it on the top, why don't we just dip, dip, dip? Oh, because the more cinnamon sugar, the better. Heck yeah! I mean, I don't know that we want it on the bottom because it'll burn. All right, there we have it. Okay, but Carrie. Mine's kinda banana-shaped. Yours is banana-shaped. Mine is just lumpy, lumpy. So Carrie... Yes?

[00:10:18] Did you have more banana facts? Oh gosh! I mean, I have more banana facts. I'm like... I'm so sorry, you guys. I know! Aw! This is fascinating. I had no idea. Oh, okay. So I don't like a banana. I didn't realize that the rest of the world does. And as a result, I have learned bananas are the fourth largest crop in the world. You're kidding! I would not kid about bananas. Wow! That's... I mean, that's huge. That is huge.

[00:10:46] And there are some countries that garner up to 17% of their calories from eating bananas. You're kidding! What countries are those? Oh, Wanda, you didn't think of those. I freaking did not think you would know. Mm-hmm. Not one little bit. Good job, Carrie! Thank you! Starting off season five. Oh, like a boss! Yeah! Okay, so these bananas are on. We're gonna cook them in a 450 oven. Hot! Hot, hot, hot, hot!

[00:11:15] For 12 minutes or until golden... So my oven cooks hot. So I'm gonna cook these for 10 minutes and then we'll check them. Okay. And then, goody-goody gumdrops, we get to start making the mystery stuff. Yes! We've got some time left on our boiling. We have three minutes left to boil those bananas. Okay. Okay. Hey, Kristen. Have you ever seen bananas in the wild? No, I have never been to a banana farm. How would you say a banana grows?

[00:11:44] Uh, on a tree? Wrong! It looks totally like a tree. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure everybody out there would say a tree. Yeah. It actually is the trunk of the tree are leaves packed together super, super tightly. Really? Making it look like a tree. Making a banana a berry and the tree, I'm air quoting, an herb. Whoa! There's no trunk to it.

[00:12:15] I told you bananas are flipping fascinating. That is pretty fascinating, Karen. I know! Yeah, yeah. I thought that was pretty fantastic. Wow! Yes, that's pretty cool, Karen. Thank you very much. Oh, there's more. Oh boy. Yeah. What do you call a cluster of bananas? It's not a bunch. Do you know? It's not? No. Oh, no, I do not know. It's a hand. No! Oh! And if off of that hand you pick just one, what is it called?

[00:12:45] A finger? Yes! She just flipped me off, everybody. I was giving her a clue. Yeah, that was me being supportive. Okay, here's what I'm gonna do, guys. Okay. I am going to get a bowl and put ice in it. And then put our green bananas in that. So hopefully they will chill faster for us. The bananas are done. I'm gonna turn off the pot. Oh my goodness, Karen. I'm gonna get a picture of these. These are gross. Oh! That's disgusting!

[00:13:15] They are blackish-greenish. Oh, look at this one. Very... Oh, this one's split. Oh my gosh, that's heinous. Oh, they all split. Oh, they did. Wow-wee-zowie. They're very steamy. They are very steamy. Mm-hmm. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Yikes. So should we prepare all the other things while we're waiting for those to cool down? Yeah, I think we should. And I wanted to talk just a few seconds about the word mystery.

[00:13:45] I'm like, why, we have made... Now we're making a mystery salad. Before, we made the cake that had beets in it. Yes. It says, it's called, I have a secret cake. Uh-huh. Right? Why? Why did they do this all the time in the 70s? Right? Why? And no. Oh. Yeah, probably is. Better than Joe. Well, I asked... No kidding. I asked the Googles why they call recipes mystery or surprise in the 70s.

[00:14:11] And the Googles, which is always correct, said that it was often playful marketing gimmick to hide unusual ingredients. Well, obviously, we've talked about this before, how companies would try to make you use their product for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yes. Even if their product should never in a million years go in breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Yes. And so this is it. This is the Dole Banana Bonanza cookbook. Right. And oh boy, did they have some doozies.

[00:14:39] We've talked about the doozies that they had in that. It was minute steaks with a banana tomato topping. Oh. Just awful stuff. But then I also saw on Google that apparently retro hosting relied heavily on novelty. So presenting a mystery starter or a mystery salad added an element of interactive entertainment and curiosity to the meal. Oh, I feel like Google oversold that.

[00:15:09] I pretty much do, but I did find some mystery recipes from the 70s. Okay. And I want to see if you recognize it or can guess what the mystery ingredient is. Oh, okay. I'm on. Let's go. Number one, I think we may have talked about before. It's called mystery cake. It's a spice cake and there is a mystery ingredient in it. Can you take a wild guess and see what you think of? Zucchini. Oh, that would be a very good guess. No, it is tomato soup.

[00:15:40] Oh, Campbell's. Yes. Okay. So I got to be who's selling this. Yes, yes, yes. Okay. Okay. All right. Here's another one. A mystery soup. Oh. It was thickened with a particular ingredient. Potato flakes. Oh, that is such a great idea. No, it's a can of pork and beans combined in the blender, blended up in the blender to thicken up the soup. Oh, no, no. And that must have come from who makes pork and beans, Heinz or? I don't know.

[00:16:10] But yeah. Yeah. So that must have come from a recipe. Ew. Ew. Potato flakes was a far better option. That is a far better option. Okay. And then this one, you will never guess in a million, million years. I don't know why. I'm over two. That's true. So it is called Mrs. Thatcher's Mystery Starter. It's a British dinner party trend popularized by Margaret Thatcher. Oh, and what did she like to mysteriously give her guess? Yes. Why not?

[00:16:39] Oh, I mean, why not? They do love their G&Ts over there. Really? Good guess. You'll never guess it anyway. The mystery was a blended mold made from canned beef consomme, cream cheese and curry powder, chilled until solid and served with black olives. Oh, yeah. Like, okay, so the consomme didn't sound horrifying to me. No, no.

[00:17:07] I mean, consomme with cream cheese, I suppose we could be okay. Yeah. I guess it's not that gross. The curry powder is odd. Right. But this is how she served it, with a little bitty teaspoon and a small glass of sherry. Yeah, that's the weird part. Yeah, I would chug a lug, the sherry, to be able to get that consomme down my gullet, I think. Yeah. Yeah, and she was so, so proud of it. It got so incredibly popular in Britain that it's just insane. Huh. Yeah. Interesting.

[00:17:37] Yeah. That's a good mystery. I forgot to continue the timer, so let's put the timer on for four minutes. Okay. Since we were jibber-jabbering. Yeah. And let me just take a peek. Oh, oh gosh. They're oogin' everywhere. I should have put foil on the... I should have put foil on the fish. I don't know why you're worried you're making me do the cleanup. Oh, that's true. Okay. Well, they are oogin' everywhere. Those bananas are just juicifying. Oh, well, you know. It's probably because we used them as banana phones. That was probably it.

[00:18:07] It was the banana gun. Pew, pew, pew. Yeah. Put it under. Oh my gosh. Well, speaking of bananas, Carrie. Those do. Speak of bananas, Kristen. Bananas were part of very questionable food trends in the 70s. Okay. While we're doing this, should we chop up something? I don't know why. I do all the work. I mean, I can help chop some celery or green onions. Okay. I mean... I mean... I don't think you can. You're welcome to continue to be thankful. There you go.

[00:19:01] I don't know. Yeah. It was topping the bananas with chunks of pickled herring. Sometimes they would mix the pickled herring with sour cream or mayo and then slather the bananas with that. Who is they? Oh, apparently advertisers push this to sophisticated high society people as hors d'oeuvres. So, folks like us wouldn't have been eating these. Thank goodness. Oh, thank goodness.

[00:19:30] I've never been more thankful to be poor. No kidding. In my life. Middle class heroes. Yes. I'll tell you that much right now. You don't eat that crap. Oh, Lord, oh my Lord. Oh, boy. So, yeah. That is the worst one that I found and I thought I could end on that. I mean, as you should. As we should. Because now we're all going to have nightmares. Oh, my gosh. The pickled herring. I don't even want to eat pickled herring alone, let alone on a banana. Yeah.

[00:19:58] You lost me at the pickled herring. Oy yoy yoy. It could have been on a donut and I wasn't going to eat all of them. I mean, ew. Pickled herring makes everything better, Carrie. Oh, I think so, Kristen. Ooh, this is loud celery. Oh, the world far. I always sing that when I'm chopping. Do you know. What could be another song that we could now start singing as we're chopping? How about... Yes, we have no bananas. We have no bananas today.

[00:20:27] We have celery, green onions and mustard and apple cider vinegar and all kinds of things to make a terrible mystery salad. But yes, we have no yellow bananas. I thought that was really good and she's just staring at me. I thought that was quite gifted, to be honest. That went on for a long time. I might get a record deal out of this, Carrie. For a long time. I thought just a little refrain would be cute. Oh, no. Oh, no. Not good enough for me. Kristen had to keep going.

[00:20:57] I did. It's how I roll, Carrie. It's how I roll. Do you know what fascinates another? Oh. Many things that are fascinating about bananas. I'm just gonna apologize ahead of time. You guys did not sign up for this. You don't go to trivia on a regular basis. You're gonna want to start attending because at some point in time... You're gonna have a banana question. They're gonna ask something about bananas and you're gonna be like, fourth biggest crop, cut on the tree. The trunk, Carol. That's right. The trunk is made out of rolled up leaves.

[00:21:27] We currently eat Cavendish. I mean, you're gonna be like on it. I mean, what fruit makes the best telephone? Well, that's a first round question. Oh, then it's true. That's true. Clearly it's the banana. Banana. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Let's check our... Ooh. Our dinner. So banana roll up. Okay. And while she does that, I'll tell you what I had started to say and she so rudely interrupted me. Oh my. Again. They're gorge. They are pretty.

[00:21:58] Okay. I can't put it down. I can't get my fingers out. There we go. Okay. All right. We're gonna let those cool. Yeah. Turn off the oven. Oh yes. It's hot in here. Yeah. All right. Very good. Okay. So I was, we had sang the song about bananas. Yeah. So what I find fascinating about bananas is they are common in pop culture. Oh, I mean, do you know what I'm saying? Like you have the banana song. Okay. Yeah.

[00:22:27] Then there's the, um, the other banana song, which would, there's many banana songs. What is it? Kristen, Kristen, Bo Biston, banana, Fana, Bo Biston, me, my mom, Biston, Kristen. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Another banana song. What? Hollaback Girl. Go bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Oh, right. And then of course, Stephanie. Thank you, Gwen. I like she, she totally blanked on me. She just, I just know the words.

[00:22:56] I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. You know, you want to know why? No. Because I was thinking of my friend Cheryl, who thought that that song said, there ain't no Harlem fat girls. There ain't no Harlem fat girls. I'm like, I don't think that's what it says. She said. I mean, kudos to Harlem. I mean, that they don't have any fat girls. Right. And then, but this is the same girl who thought that it said, big old jet and Lionel. Lionel. I thought the jet had a light on. Oh yeah. Mostly, most people did.

[00:23:27] They didn't think it was two guys named jet and Lionel. Yeah. Sorry, Cheryl. Love is awesome. So anyway, so it hits off. Yeah. Okay. And then there's art. What? So Andy Warhol. Andy Warhol. The bananas? He has a banana. It was for the Velvet Underground and Neatland. Underreal. Velvet Underground. Velvet Underground. Everybody's new? I know we did Campbell's Soup fans. Campbell's Soup must have loved the heck out of the bag. Nope.

[00:23:56] It was one banana. Okay. Yes. There's also a comedian whose name I am going to mispronounce. Oh no. Maurizio Catellan. Okay. And they had a faint, well, infamous. Infamous. Infamous. 2019 art installation featuring a real banana duct taped to a wall. Seriously? Literally, that's all it is. Oh, did you watch it rot or something? No, but it sold. This was the part that made it infamous. You are shitting me. What?

[00:24:26] Guess. Guess how much it sold for. Okay. I'm going to guess like wild. A million dollars. No, go last wide. Okay. $200,000. $120,000 for a banana duct taped to a white wall. It's going to rot. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, they were a comedian. I don't know why maybe another comedian bought it because they thought it was funny. I don't know. That's ridiculous. It is, but it's also bananas in pop culture. Okay. Okay. And then we have, this is a reach.

[00:24:56] Britney Spears and her famous VMA dance with the albino Burmese python named. I'm guessing it's probably plantain. Banana. I'm joking. She called me a DA. That's somebody else to do this podcast with. Very nice. This is ridiculous. And then the last one I had. Okay. Thank God. Seriously. Anybody, anybody want to do a podcast?

[00:25:26] I want to go see this group. Oh, okay. Savannah Bananas. Oh, I want to see them too. Yes. I've heard that like their games, home games in particular, are sold out for like the next three years. Oh, they are. So first off, wasn't this a great thing to mention? Okay. Okay. Because I do know something about this. So you have to get in a lottery to be able to get tickets. And then if you get chosen, then you can buy the tickets. And our friend, Anna got chosen and liked to see them. What?

[00:25:56] Yes. But she said it's way more fun to watch them on YouTube and on social media. Because when you're in a big stadium like that, you can't see them doing those really cute, up-close pop culture songs and dancing. Because if you're on the opposite side of them doing their dance, it's practically useless. You can't see what they're doing. Interesting. Even if it's on the big screen, it's just not quite like watching it on your phone or on YouTube. Yeah. I still want to go see them. I still think it would be fun.

[00:26:26] Yeah. I mean, she enjoyed the heck out of it. Yeah. I'm getting ready to mix up this sauce. It is a half a cup of mayonnaise. We're going to put in a teaspoon of mustard, a half teaspoon of salt. And then we've got, oh, two tablespoons of cider vinegar. We don't want it to be black. No, the cider vinegar goes onto the bananas. Oh, thank goodness you said that or I would have dumped it all in there and that would have been gross. So once we get the bananas cut, then we add the vinegar onto them and turn them and coat them. Oh, I gotcha.

[00:26:56] Okay, so I'm going to add in the mustard. Which apparently by a magic of science is going to firm those bananas right up and make them- Oh yeah, maybe it's going to make them not brown. I don't know. We're going to peel them at some point. Right, right, right. But I mean, who cares if they're brown? At least we could tell the difference between the mayonnaise and the bananas. Yeah, it's going to be something. It's going to be something. It's going to be something. Oh yeah. All right. Okay, so I got more, Kristen. I got more. Okay. Great.

[00:27:21] So not only are bananas popular in pop culture, they are obviously comedic genius. Well, obviously. Yeah. And do you know how they became comedic genius? How, Keri? Due to street litter. I did the same research. You're stealing all my information. Mine's cooler. No, Keri got all the banana facts and now I don't get to say any. Thanks a lot. You're welcome. See if she tells it as well as I would have.

[00:27:51] I tell it better. Yeah. So in the 1860s, bananas became popular street food. I know this. Why? Why, Keri? Oh, I don't know why. Go ahead, tell me. Oh, okay. Oh my gosh. She's hateful. I am. Season five has started and Kristen's in a funk. I am in a jangy, angry funk. Yeah. No, I'm just being silly, but it's because they became super popular to import. And so they'd come over on the ships to these big cities like New York.

[00:28:21] Okay. Yeah. And they become a popular street food. So people would eat their banana. Yeah. And discard the peel as they walked along the street. Yeah, they wouldn't even put them in a trash can. Rude. Yeah. Because they clearly did not give a hoot. They did pull it. They did. Yeah. Yeah. And so then of course those peels would turn black and rotted, kind of like the ones that are currently on our page of the animals. I know, right? And they would in fact become little slime traps. Guess what?

[00:28:48] I did some research on why they become slippery and slimy. Because they're rotting. No, no. Because stepping on them bursts microscopic gel sacs, which release highly slippery fluid. In fact... Oh my. A team of Japanese scientists actually won the 2014 Nobel Prize in Physics for calculating the exact mechanisms of that phenomenon. Isn't that weird? That's weird. That's weird. See, together we make a good team, Carrie. You tell a lame story. You tell a lame story.

[00:29:17] I am a good one. I am a good one. I am a good one. So, vaudevillians... Oh yeah, they did. ...noticed this phenomenon. So funny. And I thought it was hilarious. And comedians like, quote, sliding Billy Watson... Whoa! ...turned these real life balls into famous staged crap balls. Crap balls.

[00:29:45] Oh, very good, Carrie. I thought that was interesting. Oh yeah. Not a lot of fruits are a part of comedy. I don't know if it's all part of us. That's true. I thought about bananas. Oh my golly. I just found it absolutely fascinating. I mean, like they just really have... They're popular. People love to eat them, but they've also infiltrated... That's kind of funny. Yeah. Super cool parts of our lives. And... Yes. Banana peels are multiple uses. Oh, oh, and...

[00:30:15] Whoa, do I know one? Okay. You tell me yours, and then I'll finish up mine. You go first, because you get so angry. That's true. Thank you, Carrie. Do you know that there was actually the great banana hoax of 1967? No. Now I am engaged. Engaged. There actually was a counterculture... I almost said enraged. Which she also is. I have been. She's protesting not to be. She's a jerk.

[00:30:43] At this moment, it's engaged. Okay, go ahead. Okay, so there was apparently a counterculture prank. Okay. ... claiming that scraping, drying, and smoking, the inside white pith of banana peels, produced a psychedelic high. Oh. Oh, yeah. People really believed this. And in fact, they came out with a name for the drug. It was called Bananadine. Oh. And even the FDA started to call it that. Oh.

[00:31:12] And people were actually even arrested for smoking fruit. Shut up. Oh. That was all fake. And there was actually a Bananadine Wikipedia page. Oh, but that's crazy. Isn't that crazy? Bananas are the coolest flipping fruit. I know, right? And I told my husband about this. And he told me a story about his older brother. His brother was in the Navy, and he came home, and one of my husband's other siblings was crabbing about this art teacher at school.

[00:31:40] And his older brother from the Navy said, yeah, she smoked way too many banana peels in her day. Because it was a thing. It was a thing that people talked about. That's cool. Isn't that funny? That is. Yeah, I thought that was awesome. Oh, I like it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Carrie. Those bananas are little steels. This is weird looking. They're like almost translucent. They are. They're not falling apart in my hands though, Carrie. So I mean, that's a positive.

[00:32:08] And look how thin looking the peel is. It is. And the peel is just this gosh, awful great. You know what the peel looks like? It looks like a dill pickle that's been in the brine for too long. It's just nasty. That's really weird. You should get a banana here, Kristen. I know. I just took a picture holding the banana peel. So look how fibrous though the peel looks. The peel has gotten. That's just crazy. Okay, I'm going to gently peel these. But wow. Yes. These are really weird, Carrie.

[00:32:37] They have not turned to complete and total mush that I thought they would. No. They're actually coming out of the peel as a whole yellowy translucent banana. Yeah. Better than the ones that we made the dessert into. Really? Yeah. That's so crazy. Well, before we... This is weird. This is really weird. Before we actually start cutting these and turning these into the... Mush. The mush. I mean, I'm sorry. Mystery salad. Yeah, the mystery salad.

[00:33:03] I wanted to tell you a few fun facts about 1977, which is when this weird mystery salad... Okay. Do you want me to cut these into chunks while... Sure. Let's gently put them on your... Let's put them in big chunks because I think you're right. As we stir them in, they might mush up. Yep. I'm going to cut them in half and then chop them. Okay. And then chop them. However you want to do it will be wrong. Yes. I know. And you'll let me know. I'm sure I will. Okay. 1977, Carrie.

[00:33:33] Chia Pets first came out. September 8th. Yes. And they say that that theme song was created when they were drunk. That makes sense. Yeah. Yep. Actually... Were they on Bananazine? Maybe they were high on Bananazine. Probably high on Bananazine. Probably. Probably. Well, they said that actually Chia Pets were not the first Chia Pets.

[00:34:00] And we know that because our mom had a Chia head that looked kind of like Howdy Doody. Yep. And it had the ridges for the hair and you'd put the Chias. She had that when she was a kid. Yeah. Right? Well, apparently Chia Pets became popular because this guy was in San Francisco and they were selling these terracotta heads from Mexico. Okay. And he bought the rights from the guy who was selling them and just went and went to these

[00:34:30] people in Mexico who were making them and bought directly from them. Okay. And so that's how Chia Pets became popular, but they didn't start out as pets. They started out as the Chia head. The first, it was a Chia guy, I guess, was the very first one. Okay. Yep. And Chia Pets are such a benchmark of the 20th century American culture that in the late 1990s, one was included in a time capsule assembled by the New York Times.

[00:34:59] Okay. And guess what else was in this time capsule, Carrie? In what year? Tell me again. 1990. A Disney. Oh, good guess. A VHS tape. Good guess, but Beanie Baby. Oh my gosh. A Beanie Baby. Let's see. A can of Spam. Okay. Which seems weird. A box of Sudafed. Okay. Must have been new, I'm guessing. Yeah, maybe. So weird. And then what else?

[00:35:28] A gold nose ring. The capsule is kept in the American Museum of Natural History in New York City and will be opened in the year 3000. That's funny. That is so, so weird. And here's another thing about Chia Pets. They are only advertised during the holiday season. Huh. They may be on the shelves other than that, but they only put out advertisements because they want to market them as a great gift for loved ones.

[00:35:58] All righty then. Okay. Okay. Carrie has all the bananas chopped up. This is just going to be interesting. And we can't get started yet actually because we need to make the lemon sauce. Yeah. We also have to mix the bananas with the vinegar. Right. Oh, with the vinegar. Okay. So let's get them in the bowl then. And we'll put in the two tablespoons of the vinegar. Yes. And I can do that if you want to work on the lemon sauce because it goes in. Yeah, that sounds great. Okay. Lemon sauce.

[00:36:28] Combine a half a cup of butter. That's a crap ton of butter. A cup of sugar. A quarter cup of water. One egg well beaten. And three tablespoons of lemon juice and the rind of one lemon in a saucepan. Cook, stirring constantly until mixture comes to a boil. This is going to be a delicious sauce, Carrie. I'm really excited about the lemon sauce. Me too. Like beyond that, I don't really care about this dessert at all. Yeah. Actually, the dessert looks gorge though. They really do. Yeah.

[00:36:57] You know, this would be a fun thing to do with like a kid. It's easy. Yeah. It gives him a chance to, you know, kind of cook a little bit. Yeah. Have you ever seen the little British boy? Oh my gosh, he's so cute. Oh, the cutest. On social media. Yes. I'm going to Mike the pastry. Yes. He's so cute. Yes. And then his dad will help him. My dad's going to do that because it's dangerous. We're so good in our room. Oh, I'm horrible. Yeah.

[00:37:26] But oh, he is just the cutest little thing, but you could totally see him making these. Oh yeah. These roll ups, not the mystery salad. No. No. Definitely the mystery salad. Dad's going to plant a mystery salad. For sure. Oh my goodness. Because every kid wants that. Okay. So I'm going to turn these bananas very gently because I'm supposed to coat them in this cold. It's vinegar, apple cider vinegar. Yeah. Did I say cold apple cider vinegar? I don't think it said that it needed to be cold.

[00:37:56] Oh good. And the weird thing about the salad, Carrie, is we are not supposed to eat it chilled. You're supposed to eat it warm or warm temperature. Oh boy. Oh boy. There's another potato. It's a German potato salad. Yeah. That's true. You eat that kind of hot. Yeah. Right. That's not my favorite. Oh, I kind of like it. Oh gosh. The water's burning already. All right. Okay. Now I got to get the lemon juice up on in there. I'm turning bananas. Okay. So gently. I am melting butter.

[00:38:24] They are such a weird consistency. So I ate bananas. I'm not a fan of the flavor, but I think I've explained before. I hate them mostly because they leave a fuzzy feeling on your teeth when you eat them. Oh, that's right. Yeah. And I cannot stand that. And so when I was doing my research, I have this marked as vindication. Because what I found is the bananas leave a film on your teeth because they contain natural toxins.

[00:38:54] What toxins? Are you kidding me? Tannins. Good Lord. Okay. Oh my gosh. I didn't sleep well last night, y'all. And I'm going to say that that is the reason that I am a total and complete idiot today. Natural tannins and high amounts of starch. And that those two combine with the proteins in your saliva and stick to your enamel. Oh really? Okay.

[00:39:21] So I'm wondering, because like I noticed you get it less when you eat like greener bananas, the riper they are, the fuzzier they become. Oh, I wonder what it's going to be like to eat boiled green bananas. Yes, because they look like your teeth. They look fuzzy. They do. Take a picture of that. Okay. You can see that. That's really what made me think of this is I'm looking at these bananas going, oh, they look like my teeth feel. Yeah. After I eat them, they look fuzzy. It's, um, it's very weird. It did not turn into mush.

[00:39:51] I am absolutely shocked. I'm folding them very gently. So, and this says specifically to add the remaining ingredients to the banana. All right. So you serve this warm or at room temperature, but then you can refrigerate it. Oh, you can refrigerate it after? Is that what it says? Oh no, no, no, no. Gosh, I cannot read. It clearly says do not refrigerate. Yeah. I swear I read and then refrigerate. Yes. All right.

[00:40:20] We have it here. I think it's mixed together pretty well. I'll do a little more mixing. Okay. I mean, it's a lot of sauce for the bananas. So they're, they're nice and saucy. They're real sauced up. So sauced up. Mm-hmm. Okay. Carrie mixed the cooked green bananas in with the apple cider vinegar. Yep. And then she mixed it in with the mayo, mustard. What else was in there?

[00:40:48] A little bit of salt, green onion, pimentos. Of course, it's a 70s recipe. And some celery. It looks like potato salad. It's beautiful. Oh my gosh. I'm excited to eat it based on the look. I'm going to hate it, but I'm excited to eat it. Quite frankly. Yeah. I'm excited to eat all of this. I mean, the banana roll-ups are freaking gorgeous. Yes. And the lemon sauce. I just happened to get some on my finger and it's freaking good. Yeah. We learned a few things. Yeah.

[00:41:16] Doing two recipes in one podcast. Yeah. No. Too much. It's a little too much. If we were as funny as we normally are, it's Carrie's fault. I mean, it's the recipe's fault. Oh my gosh. So maybe not our best call ever. Right. We're really hoping to give ourselves something to taste that was banana-y, that was delicious. Yeah. I can't wait to try these. Based on the look. I mean, shall we get a little blob? Yeah. I think we should. We're going to start with the salad. Okay.

[00:41:45] It looks just like potato salad. Very much like a good potato salad. It really does. The cooked bananas look like pieces of potato. Do you want me to go first? Yeah. Okay. Okay. She's eating and she's shaking her head. I can hear the celery crunching. Okay. It's not the texture of potatoes. They're a little too soft. Mm-hmm. It tastes a little bit sweet. Yeah, that makes sense. But it doesn't taste crazy sweet. So the texture's off. It does not taste like banana.

[00:42:15] It tastes like an underripe banana. You know how they're kind of tart and not very banana-y? Yeah. That's what it tastes like. It's good. The sauce, like- The sauce is good. The sauce is incredible. I'll tell you what, if you're going to make potato salad for your family, make this mystery salad sauce. It is good. You can taste the apple cider vinegar. Yeah, so toss your potatoes in the vinegar. Do everything except for use the green bananas and your family is going to be surprised

[00:42:45] and then you won't have to tell them it's a mystery. And if you were used to eating this, like if you lived in the Caribbean and this was what you ate, it's good. It's just different. It's the sweetness I think is the only part that I'm not- But I sometimes put a little sugar in my macaroni salad. Macaroni salad, I'm good with being sweet, but potato salad, it's enough. Not so much. I'm not a fan of the sweetness, but both of us are going in for a second bite. I did. It's actually yummy.

[00:43:13] I would eat this. I would not complain. And it would be fun thing to serve and not tell people. Yeah, I wouldn't take this at a potluck and go, oh gosh, this is disgusting at all. You would think that someone overcooked their potatoes. Oh, totally. Okay, let's move this out of the way and taste what I'm gonna ask for the second one. I know, right? That was supposed to be the bad one. It was. Should I put the lemon sauce on the side so we keep everything crunchy or do you want me to just pour it all over the top?

[00:43:42] I say pour it all over the top. All right. Oh, and I'll take a picture of it. Yeah. The lemon sauce is a little runny. Oh, it made it so shiny. Oh, it's very soft. It's pretty. Okay, it's still very warm on the inside. Oh, it's beautiful. It's really beautiful. It is. Okay, here goes. I think this would be a great dessert to make with your child. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Oh, Kristen is in heaven. That is so good. It smells good. Mmm. Oh my God. You don't taste the banana at all.

[00:44:13] You taste cinnamon, sugar, and lemon. And the pie crust is flaky and buttery. Carrie hates bananas, so maybe she tastes the banana a little bit more? There's a little flavor of banana, but it lends the sweetness. Oh my goodness. I'm going in for a bite too. Kristen's going in for a bite too. I would eat the heck out of this. I mean, this is what a fun, simple, quick, easy dessert.

[00:44:39] Well, I really preferred the bite where there was more crust to banana ratio. Yeah. But that's good. The lemon sauce makes the whole thing. It brightens it up. Oh boy. I am shocked. Wait, didn't I say that I would be a monkey's uncle? Yeah. If that salad ended up being good. We need photos. Dang it. Mm-hmm. Wow. That is... I mean, I'm... I mean, we're on a podcast.

[00:45:08] We need to say words, but I am literally speechless. We really thought you guys were going to torture the heck out of us with this. And na-na-na-na-boo-boo, you did it! I know! I thought you were being evil and it turns out you were being nice. Yeah! You changed that. So thank you for mystery salad. Absolutely. Yeah. Thank you for picking that. Yeah. Well, before we head out today, we wanted to let you all know that this season of the podcast will be a bit different, just like Carrie.

[00:45:39] Why are you laughing? Okay. Carrie and I have actually decided to take on an additional creative endeavor that we think you guys are going to love. That means we need to make some room in our schedules. In order to do that, we plan on putting out just one episode a month this season. Insert crying ear. I know, right? Not from us. I meant from all of our listeners. Maybe it's just from us. Probably just from us. Yeah.

[00:46:05] We appreciate your support so much and can't wait to share what we are creating with you. So stay tuned. We will give you an update as soon as we possibly can. In the meantime, if you are jonesing for some more Mom's Wooden Spoon, you can always go back and listen to old episodes, but probably not season one. I'm not sure we were very good in season one. You can also email us and we chit chat with you. Oh, yeah. And by me, I mean Kristen. Well, that's it for this episode.

[00:46:33] As always, thank you so much for joining us. Now be sure to mark your calendars for our next episode on October 19th. We will be boozing it up Ohio style with a boozy recipe from an OSU cookity book. Yeah, we love an OSU cookity book. Yeah, we do. And a matching boozy beverage. What could possibly go wrong? I don't know, but I'm not different. I'm special. Absolutely, Carrie. Special.

[00:47:05] Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode, go to our website, momswoodenspoon.com. If you'd rather, check us out on Facebook or Instagram. Pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Go bananas. Go bananas. Go bananas. Woo!