Sugar Can Be The Willpower You Need To Undereat

Episode Transcript for Legal Apple Pie

hey Carrie what is your favorite type of pie crust well I just made my very first pie crust a hot water crust for a Savory Thanksgiving pie and it was delicious if I do say so myself it was and your husband makes the most delicious buttery flaky tasty crust for sweet pies yeah I don't know but why do you ask it seems like a whole lot of work for a Mary's memo yeah not this when Carrie let's just say that this pie crust is going to be kind of powdery oh what yeah just you wait Carrie just you  wait [Music] welcome to Mom's wooden spoon where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts you can say that  again [Music] hello wonderful listeners aww we want to thank you so much for voting for The absolutely heinous 1970s Diet recipes I don't know do we want to thank them for voting because I feel like if they loved us they would have been like we don't want you guys to have to eat these things that's so funny let's do another delicious impossible Pie ladies yeah no some of them were like oh we'll make you do this one CUz it's the least heinous of them all oh that thank you to those people yeah other people yeah like our friend Anna who was like yeah hehehehehe what up Anna bean sprouts a actually on that Facebook post asking you all to vote our friend Jackie said I'm glad recipes have evolved there are so many choices to make things better I agree Jackie oh yes I agree why did we ever decide to do this I you know I don't know a moment of stupidity yeah I think so too well folks the winner is from what's cooking at Second Baptist Church in Shelby North Carolina 1975 legal apple pie it really is the least offensive of them all I don't know I think Mom's Danish might have been least offensive this one with the gelatin and the apples I don't know yeah well we'll find out I guess so and this is the same cookbook that we did the baked ham salad from remember so it had the funny things written next to each recipe super cute but thus far the recipes we have selected not so good not so good this one has an asterisk and a yummy next to it ooh maybe we'll be in luck maybe this will be absolutely delish maybe yeah but I have a question okay why is it legal apple pie I think it's legal for your diet oh legal on your diets yeah well I tell you I went down a rabbit hole of legality oh did you now oh I did well you tell us while I start peeling the apples okay that sounds good because we all know I'm not going to so I Googled legal apple pie yeah because I'm like what is this legal thing all about I could not find the recipe anywhere nobody else you know no other cuckoo came up with this no not that they were willing to share on the interwebs no absolutely not but I found yeah a law about apple pie what for sure there's a law yeah okay okay so Vermont yeah just to set the stage Vermont's state fruit is Apples oh okay and their state food is apple pie okay so you need to regulate then make it legal I mean at least it's a thing yeah important to the state these two Foods I get it so in 1999 they passed legislation to compel their residents oh to serve apple pie with at least yes one of three things oh my okay do tell so legally as a I guess even just within the Vermont state limits yeah you need to make best efforts oh my goodness yes to provide your legal pie with one of the no I'm sorry your apple pie also legal yes with one of these okay milk oh you have to eat your apple pie slice with a glass of milk the state beverage oh yeah nice okay okay a large scoop of vanilla ice cream oh I could go for that yeah don't do a small one have you made best efforts if it's a small scoop I don't think so I feel like you have not if you have Neapolitan ice cream is that okay I don't know I don't know cuz now we've got chocolate and vanilla couldn't you have just done a large scoop of just the vanilla oh yeah jail for you jail for you and the third one is cheddar cheese no smaller than half an ounce in weight oh I have tried cheddar cheese on apple pie have you because I told my husband about this and he made gaggy face it is delicious I assumed if an entire state was willing to throw people in jail over it yeah it must be okay it really is good that's hilarious well not on but just with so I guess you could take a bite of apple pie take a bite of cheese really I've had it melted on I did read that some people do that and there are some crusts that just include cheddar cheese I've never heard of that before but this is just to serve it with okay milk ice cream large scoop yeah or at least half an ounce of cheddar cheese in case you're concerned because you're planning on traveling to Vermont later and serving a lot of people some apple pie are you going to be able to go home are you going to be stuck in a Vermont Jail jail going to The Big House people I don't know the people who I took this information from off the internet they did say that to their understanding yeah no one has been arrested in Vermont for breaking this law thank goodness since 99 because they all follow it because it's the smart way to eat apple pie really and I mean a glass of milk how hard is that yeah I mean they didn't set a high bar well I mean if you're lactose intolerant that's pretty hard you're screwed you are screwed man well you'll just have to get some Lactaid I guess get some lactose free get a little coconut ice cream people will be planning around you knowing you'll be gassy it's oh it'll be right before the party ends so they gas you up and send you out gas you up and send you home oh yeah I wouldn't blame them so when you Google legal apple pie you do get one other thing oh do you now that pertains to apple pie and laws yeah I'm telling you a rabbit hole yeah no kidding I found a recipe uhuh for apple pie ala mode yeah moonshine what it's legal moonshine because you don't have to you don't have to own your own still okay first you build a copper still near a

creek near a creek um no it actually sounds delicious wait till you hear the ingredients okay so you take half a gallon of apple cider oh okay I like apple cider we're making a lot of moonshine okay half a gallon of apple juice oh okay okay then a cup of white sugar and a cup of brown sugar ooh this going to be sweet sound good yeah then you take four cinnamon sticks and a clove okay then you take three cups of 190 proof grain alcohol you can get yourself some Ever Clear that's what they suggested absolutely and two cups of vanilla vodka now I've never had vanilla vodka but I have had whipped cream vodka yeah and Carrie says yes please this sucker though is gonna be potent po-tent three cups oh my gosh yes and then they suggest that you put it in like ball jars yeah and that you put a little half of vanilla bean and a cinnamon stick in your ball jar you know and seal that sucker up and then you can deliver it to your family and friends what a fun gifty I know I was like this sounds amazing and delicious that really does sound good and legal it's legal apple pie yeah I thought that was crazy I'm impressed Carrie so then I started looking at moonshine facts just for the heck of it and I found that Franklin Virginia uhhuh is the moonshine capital of the world oh wow and they I was going to say Samos but that's not actually a word no surmise surmise that's a real word okay I got there they surmise that like every I don't know mile if you go out into the woods yes in Franklin Virginia every mile along the creek you will find an old buried still really there were just so many that many oh gosh so I know my father-in-law Learned to Drive running shine in the hills of Virginia no yes so I asked my husband I'm like was he from Franklin Virginia yeah he's like I don't know and so then he comes back he's like no he was from some other County right next to Franklin Virginia you're kidding so like right in the day of I mean he wouldn't have been for prohibition but he would have been you know shortly thereafter when the stills were still running illegal yep he would have been running shine because then he worked on the NASCAR circuit so if yeah know that yes yeah that the shine Runners led to NASCAR yeah and so yeah he and his brothers and there were a lot of them oh my gosh all worked for NASCAR they did not race they would work in the pit and they'd fix the cars and stuff that's super cool isn't that amazing how fun is that so he probably never made legal apple pie he said forget that I know where the Stills are hidden right up by the creek up by the creek love it I didn't find anything legal yours were great I found more about cray cray diets from the 70s oh my gosh yeah so we talked about cray cray diets of the 70s like season one right yeah season one or season two and they were absolutely insane like I think there was a Sleeping Beauty diet where you just took sleeping pills every time you were hungry yeah yes and then there was like I don't know you ate like an egg and a bottle of wine a day yes yes that was like I think they called it the housewives diet an entire bottle of wine you polished that off in one day one day yeah yeah they had some other weird ones though I was surprised that I found even more okay there was one called the honey and egg diet oh in case you didn't want the wine that's right for breakfast lunch and dinner you could have honey and an egg cup oh which I'm assuming is a softboiled egg in a little egg cup it didn't say that you put the honey on the egg cup I mean what good is the honey I I don't know it just a spoonful of Honey makes the boiled egg go down the boiled egg go down how long have you had that in your back pocket I just came up with that what on the fly on the Fly oh the genius oh my gosh I feel like we're gonna have musical gurus from LA and Atlanta calling us at any moment now due to your mad lyrics skills Kristen oh my gosh finally be famous oh wow wow I've wanted this since high school and then it continued that at dinner along with your egg cup and honey you got an entire three whole ounces of hard cheese a slice of plain whole wheat bread and fresh fruit ew I feel hungry I know that does not sound good no no but you might like this one since you really liked the apple pie moonshine idea it's called the Drinker diet oh yeah I'm in sold it's basically a keto diet which makes room for two drinks at each meal other than breakfast other than breakfast breakfast is alcohol-free no mimosas no mimosas so you just eat one portion of cottage cheese and some steamed white fish and then your whiskey gin or vodka I don't like white fish can't do it yeah you couldn't do that diet Carrie Nope so disappointing cuz I was really excited about that one yeah I'm sorry aww yeah that would have been a good one for you Carrie the Drinker's diet yes yeah oh well good try all right so I am only on Apple two so my recipe has let's tell everybody what's in this recipe because it's a hot mess man it is four medium apples and I have tried desperately to get 1970s size medium apples yeah you did pretty well thank you thank you very much you're welcome and then we are going to what are we gonna do yes let me tell you right now we're going to put unflavored gelatin in water and cook it on the stove until it's dissolved okay then we are going to pour that over the apples in a pie pan and what Carrie's doing right now is she is sifting together dry milk cinnamon and two packets of stevia yeah yeah so what we're going to do is we're going to pour that cinnamon powdered milk And Stevia mixture over these apples gelatin mixture Yep and then spray it with a water bottle to make a air quotes nice crust how and then we're gonna bake it for like 40 minutes how okay this is just gonna be an excitement of science make a nice crust out of powdered milk reminds me of Grandma this powdered milk yes is not lumpy at all no okay so I don't know if we've told the story about Grandma and the powdered milk but Grandma lived alone and so she did not buy milk yeah she did not buy milk because she couldn't drink at all and it would go bad however she loved her grandkids and she wanted to make sure that they had access to milk when they came over that's right so what do you do you buy powdered milk oh boy however back in the day you would buy powdered milk in little foil kind of packets and I think that they made probably like a gallon of milk you dump the whole packet in a large pitcher of water and make well she didn't want a gallon of milk cuz we weren't going to be there that long yeah she just wanted enough so that we would have some milk for our cereal right so she would open the packet put a little milk powder in your water have you Stir It Up until it was I don't think it ever even made it to skim milk color at all was never enough it was cloudy water is what it looked like it was cloudy water and then she'd fold over the top of the packet and put it back in the cabinet for the next time you came over oh right so it got clumpy so clumpy that's pretty darn hard to stir into cold water cold water yeah clumpy milk and so then you're stirring it in and you're having to take your fork and try and break up the clumps on the side nobody wants to break up clumps in their milk didn't know what a sifter was or I would have carried one to Grandma's so this milk is I don't know why we sifted it to be honest it was smooth it just ran right through the sifter this milk that we have right now yes it is fine it is no lumps maybe the 1970s powdered milk was a little lumpier than this and that's why they said to sift it or I don't know maybe they were just trying to tell you you got to kind of mix them together and instead of using the word mix they said sift together I don't know but we got it it's now just Brown Yeah from the cinnamon well here I am cutting these apples and I have you're doing a great job thank you well thank you but I have salt water ready to put them in so they don't turn brown and I totally forgot to do that oh so you know I'm just going to put them directly in the pan I'm wondering if I did also get too large of apples again because I'm looking at this amount and spit it out there Kristen phlegmy phlegmy McD I am I was looking at I'm looking at the pie pan and I'm thinking this is a lot of apples she is overwhelmed overwhelmed she can hardly make words due to the overwhelmingness of the apples let's put these in and see if I need to even cut up that last one let me get the spray bottle out oh my gosh so the spray bottle in the recipe Kristen didn't mention is that the recipe reads take a washed out spray bottle and fill with water yeah yeah so I'm so curious as to what spray bottles one might have washed out in 70s to use now Kristen has a brand new one for 99 cents from Target I do not mine is not brand new it used to have bleach in it and I just rinsed it out shut up I'm not kidding I mean I am kidding what I'm not eating the Pie all right guys thank you for listening to Mom's wooden spoon Carrie out do you know what this is from it is my water spray bottle for my ironing oh yes yeah it only ever has water in it I did thoroughly wash it with soap and water though so that there would be no ick it looks very clean it is very clean yes but what would have come in a spray bottle back in the 70s that you would be all I can think of is cleaning products you couldn't run to the Dollar Tree and get yourself a 99 cent brand new spray bottle no so you had absolutely had to repurpose it oh wow what what would cleaning products 409 spray so is that really what they did is maybe I don't know did they make spray bottles for just water for laundry did they just sell empty spray bottles maybe I don't know we didn't have one we had a repurposed bottle for our ironing that's cuz Mom was cheap yeah cuz it was the 70s that's right I mean I assumed everybody in the 70s were cheap yeah I think so probably I don't know I don't know natural recyclers do cheap well to you know trying not to have so much waste probably I don't think it was the waste I think it was J cheap yeah cheap you know what in looking at this amount of powder I think if I do another Apple there almost won't be room for the powder what do you think plus I don't want to waste a beautiful Apple that you are making up excuses to not have to cut another apple and I'm totally fine with that okay good okay okay yeah we're good so now we have to go to the gelatin yes so we're going to combine water and gelatin heat and then pour over our beautiful perfect amount of apples yes okay so you do that how much how much gelatin gelatin on one tablespoon unflavored gelatin oh boy okay this is going to be exciting so I looked up legal apple pie yes and then I continued on my quest for all things legal okay and I looked up things that used to be legal but now aren't oh okay there were a few things that I found that I thought some people might remember so one of them the drinking age oh right used to be 18 that's right yeah and so it was President Reagan that signed the national minimum drinking age act in 1984 raising it to 21 oh my goodness yeah so that's not that well I mean it is a long time ago but it's within our lifetime yes for sure yeah so I have a friend who got to drink at 19 yeah and then could not drink at 20 and then drank again at 21 that's crazy I mean don't get me wrong it did not stop her yeah that's funny um another one that I think everybody will remember is not wearing seat belts oh for sure right not required and New York was the first state to pass the seat Belt law also in 1984 really yeah how about that 1984 was the year of safety year of safety knew yeah not I I was going to say there are probably some really cool pants that they wore in 1984 and safety cool pants did The Safety Dance come out in 84 oh that would have been the best so cool yes okay something else that everybody will remember smoking you could smoke everywhere and everywhere yes in restaurants on air airplanes there were smoking areas at schools at high schools no really outside they would have an area for the high schoolers to go smoke wow wow okay so yeah smoking obviously everywhere smoking was a little late to the safety game really yeah well I you know I only went with smoking on flights oh because I do recall that if I remember correctly they had a smoking and non-smoking section on flights right with like a little curtain you know in between the two in 1989 they just went no smoking wow yeah okay but here are some laws that maybe you don't remember really okay okay so drinking while driving and you're thinking well you can't drunk drive that's yeah been illegal for a very long time Carrie and you are correct driving while drunk totally illegal for a very very long time you could not be drunk and get into the car and start driving uhhuh but yes you could be sober get into the car and start drinking what while you were driving no totally legal really yes that did not become illegal you're gonna have to guess I'm gonna make you guess what year drinking while driving became illegal they started the open container law I'm going to guess 1970 no not even close 1998 wait a minute yeah I think I remember college friends dranking in the car yeah it was legal whoa

yeah I'm sorry about the total long moment of Silence it is Kristen looking at me jaw dropped now actually now that you mentioned that I graduated high school in 92 so I too would have been in college and it would have been legal to drink while driving nationally now maybe States had laws I don't know um but the national open container Act was passed that's crazy I know right wow yes so I thought that was amazing okay and this is my favorite thing ooh do tell that used to be legal and now is not okay tell me mailing children what were they like Flat Stanley you had to fold them up and put them in and envelope no no so um the Postal Service went into effect yes on January 1st 1913 okay and basically you could mail anything up to 50 pounds was the how it started right my gosh and so some families discovered it was way cheaper to mail the child who weighed 44 pounds yeah than it was to send them in a coach so one family in particular was like one of the last families the child was Mary Pierstroff she was four years old and Mama and Papa Pierstroff uh lived in Grangeville Idaho and they needed to get married to her grandparents in Lewiston and so they spent 53 cents to mail Mary somebody must have ratted them out although she was not the only child that was mailed yeah but ratted them out and the US postmaster very quickly banned the mailing of people that's just insane that you would entrust your baby to Rando multiple post people four-year-old your four-year-old your four year old I mean would she get fed I know right yeah I mean I've lost

mail what happens to your I mean although can you imagine sticking your four-year-old on a stage coach no all by herself that also is horrific visit her grandparents no I can't imagine the whole thing is horrific idea yeah but the mail man may maybe they got better one-on-one attention maybe if I don't know I don't know boy yeah so they did have to send a law no mailing children that's Insanity right there so when you were a child and you were upset with your parents yeah and your dream was just mail yourself to your grandparents and get away from this hellacious that is the evilness of your mother telling you no you can't have candy before bed right wasn't going to work can't mail yourself can't do it dang it I know disappointing is it so disappointing yeah well you know the gelatin is ready I have dissolved it in the water and it says  just to pour it over the apples yes all right here we go I'll try to evenly drizzle she's she's taking her time she's she's working very hard at doing this I want it to be meticulous she is being very meticulous this is going to taste awful there's no sugar in the gelatin it is just plain gross gelatin what she's really grossed out by this yeah I am this one isn't uh I feel like there were worse worse choices and I'm okay okay okay so now I'm going to sprinkle evenly my powdered milk sweetener and cinnamon topping oh she's giving me a spoon do you want spoon or do you want to just pour it I'm gonna lick my fingers and just dig them on in it doesn't matter to me if you want a spoon or pour or whatever I don't have any it actually seems like quite a bit of powdered milk it is a lot of powdered milk I think it was a one and a third cup yeah of powdered milk oh boy oh boy uhhuh well why you sprinkle that on Carrie take a while yeah I did some research about weird news of the 1970s oh cool yeah I hit the jackpot oh do tell oh yeah okay from July 1970 I think you'll like this one Carrie Archie Beasley of Birmingham England attributed his good health to eating a live frog every day the poor frog he said he had been following this dietary regime for 46 years that's thousands of frogs he murdered in the worst possible way he said he had eaten over 15,000 live frogs in his life I am so horrified I know right someone needs to tell Peta about that man he is awful well was Peta Back in 1970 probably I don't know yeah he said uh he'd never had an upset stomach from it and noted that there are thousands of people in this country who swallow oysters whole oysters are live too and they do the same work in cleaning the stomach he thought that the Frog would clean his stomach no the Frog just died a horrific death yeah isn't that awful that yeah that is not the jackpot I'm gonna have nightmares tonight about I know right what's his name his name is Archie Beasley Archie yeah he's gonna give me nightmares I know well let's go to a different one you might like this one instead in August 1970 19-year-old Deborah wolf of Philadelphia was named Miss smog America heck yeah because she smoked so much she was like a smoke stack yeah that's probably it Miss Smog America I mean now that is a title that many of us have always wanted oh my gosh awful and it showed her in the picture with a gas mask on shut up yeah that's hilarious I have one last one that I think you will really really enjoy okay no gas masks and no frogs were harmed in the making of this no this one is wonderful a public library in Upper Arlington Ohio oh I lived right near there yeah they added scratch and sniff scents to its card catalog they called it the stick your nose in the card catalog program the idea was that the card in the catalog would have a scent and the corresponding book on the Shelf would have the matching scent I bet that didn't work probably did not you could find your books by smell here were the 60 scents and I'm not going to tell you all 60 scents oh thank goodness because I'm like wow yeah but listen to these choices Apple like our apple pie chocolate fantastic garlic oh yummer roses nice leather well you know I was just in um Bath and Body Works yesterday and they have a man scent that's leather leather cashmere something like that it smelled delightful okay good good then help about pizza ooh orange strawberry they had all those stickers when we were kids they did remember those scratch and sniffs I do not remember a smoke scented sticker they had I wonder if Miss smog got to wear one she probably did on her gas mask see it comes all back around so you knew just what you were doing I did I planned that wow yeah okay okay my turn Carrie has the spray bottle I do I have the spray bottle and I'm going to lightly spray the top of the pie to produce I don't know what kind a nice crust so should I squirt it like up in the air I don't think so and let it fall down oh gosh okay she's spraying

it looks like the moon with asteroids hitting it this is really a lot of fun the powders flying everywhere that's pretty cool I don't know how much you do I don't either what does a nice crust look like in this mess there's some right there that's not wet I'm trying to get it wet that's just so weird I yeah I don't understand I have no idea we're absolutely need to take a picture of this it definitely looks like the Moon it really does I think that's all right let me move this over now the entire countertop is soaking wet and you know what I feel like I need a moment of Praise yes I just had a water bottle in my hand and I never once squirted you in the face that is very nice Carrie I mean like that is younger sister oh man that's a that's a lot of self-control I exhibited there yeah I appreciate that very much I don't know that you even understand the self-control that it took to not squirt me yes impressed I we should squirt a little more over here I should do that with the water bottle yeah do not squirt me do not squirt me I'm going to try it now okay and you know what has activated the cinnamon can you smell the cinnamon oh yeah it smells

delicious you think that's good yeah this is the one spot see how it's not brown I think it just doesn't have much cinnamon in it okay well I don't want it to get too much water have no idea what I have no idea okay so now we're going to bake this shockingly for 45 minutes at 350 well because we want the apples to be tender yeah yeah okay okay well my goodness I guess we'll see you all in 45 minutes 45 minutes for this delightful Apple treat that you all selected for us thank you guys thank you did you start this by calling them our wonderful listeners I did I did yeah rethinking we'll see what we call them later

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well the pie is out of the oven and it is one heck of a surprise Kristen heck yes it is so all of the cinnamon seems to have risen to the top or we burnt the crap out of it right it does look kind of burned yeah one of the two but there's a crust that mixture made a crust they weren't kidding about make a nice crust when you tap on it it's crunchy it is it is wow it's it's something else and I was thinking I know Kristen was super grossed out about the idea of the gelatin yeah but you know they add like a gelatin to Strawberry pies I think the thing that concerned me was that there was no sweetener or flavor in that gelatin it was plain gelatin on apples correct yeah yes all the flavors in the crust so if you don't get a bite of that crust what's it going to taste like apples which will be fine yeah yeah hopefully what a weird diet recipe yeah why don't we add some cinnamon into the apples that's what I was thinking yeah well talk about weird diet recipes and weird diet things okay I found a Time Magazine from 1971 and they ran this ad recommending that you eat an ice cream cone shortly before lunch with ice cream in it yeah oh I'm I am dig this is a diet I am dig this you said I am dig this yes egg and honey no thank you ice cream before lunch yes please I could combine that with the wine one ooh wine and ice cream diet sold yeah so it says in bold print sugar can be the willpower you need to undereat I find that that is the exact opposite in my life but let's hear tell me you do it and then it has a big picture of a woman eating an ice cream cone and it says when you're hungry it usually means your Energy's down by eating something with sugar in it you could get your energy up fast in fact sugar is the fastest energy food around and when your Energy's up there's a good chance you will have the willpower to undereat at Meal Time how's that for a sweet idea sugar only 18 calories per teaspoon and it's all energy I am in sold can you imagine a cone of rocky road three times a day three times a day wow wow what a diet this is the diet I've been waiting for he yeah I need more energy yeah yeah I'm tired I always need more energy bring the sugar yes and the wine I love it I found some potential diety Foods yeah not Heavenly oh no so I checked out Reddit this redditor wrote I have a virtually zero calorie dessert oh but it's kind of unhinged and it's gonna sound gross but it's actually kind of satisfying oh mhm anyway take one part Splenda okay one part cinnamon and put it on slices of cucumber with a pinch of salt LOL no not lol FML should we try it no I have cucumber in there but no oh you have Splenda we should try it oh man how easy would that be all right we should try it and then we get to eat some delicious legal apple pie what could be better than that okay so I have an English cucumber here that's all wrapped in plastic and it doesn't really have any seeds so this will be perfect that'll be perfect tender slices okay all right let's try this cucumber here's one for you here's one for me oh I forgot the salt oh yeah I don't think it work without the salt one part Splenda okay here we go sprinkle she's sprinkling you sprinkle some on yours okay okay one part cinnamon oh my gosh this is not going to sprinkle very easily but here we go we'll try it's probably going to come out in a clump oh not bad I'll squish it around okay and then some salt you want to take your own pinch of salt there sure okay and let's cheers this bad boy okay are you popping the whole thing in your mouth or no no you're just taking a bite I think I'll pop the whole thing in my mouth all right are you ready here we go

Clinky cheers it's not awful that's not awful at all I'm gonna eat the other half yeah that's kind of satisfying that's crazy that is better than Velveeta and ketchup on a cracker heck yeah it is I'd served that at a party okay probably not wow that's delightful I mean I wouldn't go craving it fortnightly no but if you've got a little cravy crave for something sweet and yet a little bit Savory and crunch I mean the crunch is very satisfying it wasn't overly sweet no the cinnamon you could just taste the cinnamon and the salt the salt made it really took it to the next level yeah little salty little crunchy unbelievable I thought we were going to have to wash our mouth out with legal apple pie and that legal apple pie scares the crap

out of me wow yeah typically when we go off script like that it all falls apart super fast oh yeah I took the second bite Kristen I can't believe you did that it was delicious I popped the whole daggone thing in my mouth there was nothing horrific about that at all Nope why didn't we put that on the contest that would have been way better what would we have done for the next 45 minutes just eat a whole cucumber just the two of us right all right let's cut into this pie okay this is gonna be

interesting it's crunchy crusty like the clown all right oh I bet you guys can hear that loudly just kind of get around the edge to get it off it's something you guys know the first piece of pie never comes out beautifully right you want to judge us harshly for legal apple pie legal apple pie it's really thick it has good thing we're not in Vermont I know right it's not as liquidy as I thought it was gonna be it's not at all it looks like a super thin sad looking piece of apple pie maybe we should have added that last Apple holy schnikes wow and there's no like juice or anything no the water not pouring all over the place so you want to take go first bite no you go first oh boy okay so let's see what we think it's kind of sad in its thinness but I don't think it's supposed to be thick Kristen has a look of befuddlement on her face she's trying to kind of place different textures and tastes I'm assuming I think if you didn't know that that was powdered milk you might actually think it's a real apple pie a terrible apple pie but an apple pie nonetheless let me try don't you get more than that get nice it crunched off in a way I hadn't anticipated Oh gotcha gosh militant Kristen I started to get skeeved out a little bit because I thought about the powdered milk but I think if you didn't know that that was made of purely powdered milk nope you hate it nope nope what is it that gets you about it can you taste the powdered milk oh Carrie is just gagging away over there oh gosh wow what did you get too much of all of it I need drink hold on sorry people wow we got to move she got a piece that had a lot of the cinnamon on the top maybe that wasn't it's burned it's burned did it taste burned yeah but that was not the problem okay let me taste it

again oh that is such a no oh my gosh no no nope nope I don't know who you were that wrote this down and I am so sorry to be offensive you know what I'm not I am not sorry it does taste burned the burnt is not the problem what do you think it is it's that God awful crust powdered milk mhm oh my gosh it's so thick it's powdery in your mouth it is powdery at the bottom of it the flavor of it is horrifying really I don't think I can taste the powdered milk part no it it's still in my mouth I still taste it no don't do it people save yourselves use us as your cautionary tail go with bean sprouts on toast do be bean sprouts on toast they've got to be better than this oh yeah I was like this is fine this is fine bite three not fine and that gets stuck in your teeth and you keep tasting it I could see in the 70s if you were trying to diet and you ate all that crapola that they tried to feed you like those slender bars and those awful tasting diet products from the 70s this is not any worse yep yeah I can see our mom eating this back in the 70s I can too yeah that made Carrie that was Truly gag worthy I need more water like I am you do not understand the dedication to this podcast that I am showing right now because I want to run and grab something like I need grape juice grape juice is a strongly flavored beverage that's right and I need to swish that around my mouth for a minute because yeah that was yeah awful awful horrific do you want some fermented grape juice I have some right over there yes yes I do we'll get you some Vino with your oh my gosh I am really thinking that I would just eat bean sprouts on toast wow happily oh my gosh oh that was that was unpleasant really mine wasn't until the very last bite I could see how a 70s woman trying to lose weight could con herself into thinking that that was okay no no I you would rather eat a cucumber with cinnamon and splenda and salt oh my gosh absolutely in a second would I pick the Cucumber over this the Cucumber was pleasant there was nothing Pleasant about that at all now I feel like my mouth is burning what is it it won't go away oh oh man it hangs in there people it hangs with you wow we may record our next podcast in two weeks and be like I still taste that pie well that's it for this episode thank goodness thank you so much for joining us and hearing our torture session yay now be sure to Mark calendars for our next episode which will be on February 24th it's going to be a shocking surprise you won't believe what we have decided to make it could possibly be worse than legal apple pie I I highly doubt it well don't miss

it thanks for listening to Mom's wooden spoon if you like what you heard don't forget to subscribe if you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode go to our website momswoodenspoon.com if you'd rather check us out on Facebook or Instagram pick your poison don't say poison we're making food okay so we need to get ready to record I'm ready are you ready I am so ready are you ready to work hard for the money so hard for it honey work hard for not getting any money but you better treat us right I took my shoes off thank you Agidor Sparticus that's funny