Zucchini Kristen is Up to No Good

Episode Transcript for Zucchini Pie

Instead of our traditional intro, Carrie and I would like to make you fully aware. Go on, say it. That my inappropriate behavior has made this episode not safe for children and not safe to play at work. I mean, she's not kidding. She lost it. I did. But zucchinis are funny.

Welcome to Mom's Wooden Spoon, where the recipes are retro and so are your hosts. You can say that again.

[Music]

Well, today I am really, really excited about what we're making. Yes, I know you've got to be. I am very excited, but I'm also a little bit worried that you're going to kick my butt at the end of this if this tastes terrible. Oh, why? Well, you know, we said in our first episode that we picked some recipes that might not taste good and I kind of forced you into these and this was really one of the ones that I forced you into. It It is. Yes. Yeah. So, I'm really excited because today, we've talked about this before when we made another zucchini recipe that there actually was out there a recipe for zucchini pie that tasted like sugar cream pie. Yeah. Woo. So, it's dessert. There's very few desserts that I could say I hate. Yeah. There's just some that I would choose to eat and some that I would not choose to eat. That's right. And sugar cream pie falls in the not choose to eat category. Oh, that is true. Which is so weird to me because you do not love strong flavors. You don't like spicy things. You're right. And it is such a mild creamy flavor. Yeah, I'm like this across the board as I think we've discussed. I don't like creme brulee. I don't like sugar cream pie. I don't like remember they have cream soda. Yeah. Don't like cream soda. It's all of the They're all very similar flavors. sweet and vanilla. I guess there's no other. But you love the flavor of vanilla. So I I don't get it. I don't like it. But I am consistent as all get out. Yes, you are. And I have loved sugar cream pie since the first time I ever tasted it. And I think the special treat to me is you can taste the milkiness, the milk fat of that, the dairyness of it. It's so rich and good and delicious. And we went home to Ohio recently. Okay. And there's a place in Archbold, Ohio called Mom's Diner, which is so fun. They have the old fashioned jukebox and then they have the little itty bitty machines at each booth and you can put in your quarter and play music through the jukebox, which is so much fun. We have videos of our kids, dancing in the aisles. Yeah. Yeah. So fun. So, mom and I went and we were exclusively going there. We were going to eat lunch, but mostly going there because they have what's called old-fashioned cream pie, which is sugar cream pie. Yes. And I have been with Kristen at this restaurant in the past. Yeah. We sit down, they come to take the order. What would you like? I don't know yet, but I want a piece of the old-fashioned cream pie now. Now, because what if some other jerk comes in there and orders it out from under me? And it happens. It has happened because mom and I said, "We'd each like a piece of sugar cream pie to start off. You know, we'll eat it for dessert, but we need that right now." Yes. And uh she said, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. We only have one." Did you split it with your mother? Did you take it all? No, I took the whole thing. She said, "You may have the whole thing." And I said, "Thank you." That's a mother's love right there. So, so sweet. And I ate that whole dang thing. I said, "You want a bite?" She goes, "Um, sure." I was like, "Sorry, sike." Oh my gosh. So, I am hoping beyond hope that this zucchini, they just call it zucchini pie, not zucchini cream pie, right? Yeah. I'm hoping that it does taste like a good sugar cream pie. I mean, it really would be nice as a sugar cream pie lover because you could fool yourself into thinking that this was healthful. You're you're getting a serving of vegetables and milk product and an egg. It's all good for you, really. I mean, it sounds like breakfast. It does. Yeah. And actually, somebody was saying online that it is kind of the consistency of a pumpkin pie. Well, sugar cream pie is kind of the consistency of a pumpkin pie a little bit. And so, the recipe that we found was from this website called farmwifecooks.com. Okay. And a lot of the recipes we found online said to boil or blanch the zucchini. And then there was one that just said to kind of mash it, chop it up into chunks. I don't want to bite into a chunk of zucchini in my sugar cream pie. Oh, that sounds horrible. Oh, yeah. Horriful. Horriful. That sounds Horriful. Horriful. Yeah. Let's say it one more time. Horriful. And so the farm wife cooks said she never cooks hers at all because it tends to add water into the product and make it liquidier. She peels the zucchini and then she takes it, puts it in the food processor and purees it. Okay. And so that's what I did. I did that last night. And then she said, "If your zucchini is extra watery to kind of, you know, soak up some of that liquid." So I spread it out in a pan and kind of made like a trench down the middle. She did. She channeled her inner farmer. I was like, "I'm going to make a ditch for runoff." Do you know what I was thinking about? There was this survival TV show and it wasn't Bear Grylls. It was another guy. Okay. And if you were stuck in the desert, what you should do is take a piece of plastic or your tarp or whatever and dig a hole into the sand and put the tarp kind of down into that hole and then overnight the moisture in the air would condense on that cool what was buried in the cool sand down there and then you get you some water. Yeah. So that's what I was thinking would happen. It didn't really work, but I mean, but I think it was a good valant effort. Thank you. Thank you. I did press a paper towel on the top of it because the last thing we want is for this to be too watery. Yeah, cuz then nobody wants a a liquidy sugar cream pie. So, I was nervous because here are the ingredients in this. It has one cup of zucchini and only one egg. And then it has a cup of sugar, a half a cup of flour, some butter, vanilla, and then once we put it in this crust that my husband made homemade for us. Heck yes. So this is going to be even if the innards are disgusting, the crust is going to be delicious. He really makes one of the best pie crusts. Oh yeah. So good. And he even rolled it and put it in the pie dish for us. I was harassing Kristen before we got started. I'm like, we're not going to have anything to do. She has pre-pureeed the zucchini and I don't know if she made it perfectly clear, but she did peel it. So, the zucchini is currently the color of sugar cream pie innards basically. It's just a little bit more yellow than that. Yeah. And then her husband made the pie crust. He rolled it out, put it in the pie pan, which is sitting in the refrigerator for us to just pull out. This is like the recipe of my dreams. It really is. But you know what? He left a part of it so we can feel like our mom in the 70s. We get to pinch. We get to pinch the edge of the crust. Oh, that is fantastic. I'll put you in charge of that. Okay, that sounds great. That sounds good. Have you washed your hands? Um, yes. I mean, I then rubbed them on your butt. Yeah. I was trying to think of a body part that would not be inappropriate. Picked your nose. Yes. Yeah. There we go. And licked them. Sneezed right on them a couple times. But yes, I washed them first earlier. Okay. Well, that sounds great. Okay. So, this is obviously not the original recipe for zucchini pie because zucchini pie is actually a very very very old recipe. Well, you know, when you plant zucchini, like a lot of vegetables, yeah, it's feast or famine. You yield nothing or you yield more than you ever could consume in a lifetime. And so I think people have been for centuries trying to come up with ways to make meals out of this bumper crop. Absolutely. And I would imagine I mean you can make a boatload of savory dishes with zucchini. Let's throw some in dessert. That sounds great. True. And during the depression there were these things called desperation pies. And we've talked about one of them before that used zucchini. It's called a mock apple pie where you use zucchini as the apple cuz zucchini was, you know, all over the place and they had a hard time getting fresh fruits. Okay. So, these desperation pies blew my mind because I didn't realize that sugar cream pie is actually a desperation pie. Oh, interesting. Yes. A lot of them just used flour and butter and milk to make the innards of the pie. So, here are some of the desperation pies that I'm sure you've heard of. Shoefly pie. Okay, I've heard of it. I don't think I've ever eaten it. They used molasses in that pie to make it kind of get that sticky innards. There was another one that I found fascinating. It's called water pie. I've seen that upon my, you know, research for various things. Yeah, I think it turns out a lot like sugar cream pie. You take the pie crust and you fill the unbaked pie crust with water and then you sprinkle over the top of that a mixture of flour and sugar and you put pats of butter in it and then you swirl vanilla on the top and then you bake it. And I saw the pictures of it. It looked like a sugar cream pie. I'll be darned. Magic is science. I know, right? Who knows who ever thought of that? That is so cool. That I mean that's pretty impressive. That's knowing your ingredients pretty well. those or being ridiculously desperate. No kidding. A water pie, you'd have to be pretty daggone desperate. Although I do find it fascinating that times are lean, you're struggling for everything. Why were desserts so incredibly important? I was thinking about that. But then, you know what? They're the pleasures in life. That's true. For dinner, you're eating your boiled potato with no meat, right? You're eating your your vegetables from the garden. So you're eating these same meals day after day that fill your belly but not necessarily satisfy you. Yeah. And so to have a sweet treat that your mom made with some flour, some sugar, and some water. Yeah. Pretty amazing. Yeah. It would be a nice respite from Yeah. from everything else. Yeah. That's interesting. Okay. So, now that we've made that so sad so the tip of my nose right now is tingling just on the right side. What does that mean? Is somebody talking crap about you? I just wanted to make sure it wasn't the symptom of some horrifying illness. You know how they say like I smelled burnt caramel for a week and then it then I died. I think that's um a symptom of leprosy. The tip of my nose is going to fall off. It is. I hope it doesn't fall into the pie. That's all that's what matters. Keep your nose out of the dang pie. Oh my gosh. All right, so let's get started. This one I was saying way earlier that this is obviously not the original depression era recipe because we put it all in a food processor, right, to make it really well blended together and then we just dump it in this perfectly crimped pie crust that Carrie's going to crimp. You know, I'd be honest as I'm looking at the instructions, it is far more not bad for you than I anticipated, right? Because I don't think we told everybody. So, it's an entire cup of zucchini. Good for you. One egg. Good for you. Evaporated milk. I mean, they don't add sugar in that. No, that's just thick milk. Yeah. And then a half a cup of the flour. And the butter is only two tablespoons. Yeah. So, you've got sugar. Yeah. Which, I mean, let's be honest, let's call it breakfast pie just for fun. If your option is this or Lucky Charms, I mean, you're getting less sugar in this and then the fat and all the stuff that goes into the pie crust. True. But you could easily convince yourself that this is a health healthy dish breakfast food. Yeah. Yeah. It's I mean it's better than a cinnamon roll I mean it's not going to taste better than a cinnamon roll. Well, it might. Oh, it won't. But it would be better for you. That's true. I think that's good. I think that's awesome. Well, let's get started. All right. I'm glad to be getting started because prior to getting started, Kristen was so excited about this. Yes. Yes. So, she was tip tapping on every hard surface that we had anywhere near us.

She sang a lot. Uh, she tip tapped. She did a little tooth whistle. I did. I did. And I do not have mesophonia, which is or the misophonia. Yeah, one of the two. Where the chewing drives you nuts, but tip tapping little noises where um make me lose my mind. Oh, I'm sorry, Carrie. Did I annoy you? Yeah. And so, it was either start this podcast or Kristen died. So, I'm so glad that we got started I'm so glad we did. Now, I'm going to use the church key and pop open this evaporated milk on both sides. I have already shooked it real well. If you don't have a church key, you could just use your can opener. You could I did get put a can opener up, but the church key is so much cooler. It is. And you get to say church church key like 10 million times. Yes. As as one should. Okay. So you had mentioned some depression era pies and things. Oh yes. I looked for weird zucchini things and I forgot that we had already talked about the mock apple pie. Oh so was that on your list? So that was on my list oh loser. Um but it was pretty amazing. They had pictures of it. I'm just moving on. They have picture. I mean, those zucchini really look like apples in that mock apple pie. Oh, they totally do. You would have no idea if you were biting into that stuff. No, you really, really wouldn't. One of the other things I found, they're all just called zucchini pie. And then this zucchini pie, you put a layer of mustard in the bottom of the pie crust. You would hate that. What are you talking about? I know. I know. You put a little mustard and then you would add in the ingredients which are basically just zucchini, eggs, cheese, and aromatics. What the heck are those? And then for some extra pizzazz, you can swirl a bit of additional mustard on the top before baking. So basically, I would call it mustard pie. Mustard pie. Carrie's favorite. But if you want mustard to add just the right amount of kick and flavor to your soft zucchini pie, I know I know what they should do. They should make that mustard sauce from our spinach balls episode. That was good. I took that stuff home to my husband who pretty much doesn't like anything we cook and he ate every last one of those sausage balls. spinach balls and dipped them all in the mustard sauce and enjoyed himself fully. Which is hilarious because my family did not like the spinach balls with the mustard sauce. What's wrong with them? It was delicious. I thought it was actually good. I said, "If Carrie likes this, there's something wrong with y'all. That you don't like this, right?" You know, but maybe because we didn't let it sit, maybe as it sat in our fridges, it changed the flavor. I don't know. I never got anymore because he ate it all. He ate it all. That's hilarious. Okay, so I have now done all the work. Let's see this. What? That's so unusual. The zucchini is in there. The flour is in there and the evaporated milk. And now it's an entire cup of sugar. Okay. You know what zucchinis are called in Britain, right? Yes. Because you corrected me because I pronounced it wrong. I did. She's fun like that. Carrie, you're so wrong. What a loser. It's a French term and I took French. Oh my god. We say Jacqueline e la.

So it is called you can make an instrument called a courgette castanet. Oh my. It sounds like it would be very wet and slappy sounding. It is wet and slappy sounding. You tried it? No. I watched this dude, a grown ass a grown a grown man on a video making a courgette castanet and he was all smiles. He's like, "Check me out. I'm making a courgette castanet. Was he French?" He was not. But he wore a jaunty beret. And he had a oui oui mustache like Hercule Poirot, but he was not uh he was Belgish. Belgish? What? Oh my gosh. I have never seen such enthusiasm from Kristen in four years of podcasting Isaid Hercule Poirot was Belgish. What? It's the enthusiasm. Enthusiasm. We've done podcasts in which she's been drinking and we we've seen less insanity cuz I want to make one of these wet slappy sounding things cuz you know how Carrie likes her tip taps, right? Okay. So, what you need is a piece of celery or a spring onion, aka green onion. Oh, so we're we're doing all vegetables for these castanets. Yes, we are. Okay. And you never did say what they call zucchini in Europe. Carrie, what's the name of the freaking instrument? A courgette castanet. Okay, it's courgette. In case you didn't pick up on that, maybe people thought it was the town in which it was invented. You don't know. Don't mock our listeners. I was mocking you. I know.

Girl, you are a mess. I love it. Okay, so you take a courgette, aka zucchini, for those of you plebs wow this Kristen

is lippy. you cut the long way down it. Okay. And so we're going to try that. Okay. She is right now she has the knife poised for cutting. Now she did not start at the top. She's not cutting this all the way in two. No, you have to leave a little bit of it. You have to leave the stem on. Okay. Okay. We've got like a inch of zucchini and then we have it sliced. That's right. And then you take the spring onion or a piece of celery and you shove it way way up. Oh, I see. Toward the stem. Okay. And then I think I'm going to have to hold the spring onion in cuz it's slickery. It wants to slip right out. Well, let's give it a try. It does nothing. That's the lamest thing of all time. Oh, let me cut it further. Maybe it needs to be cut all the way down to the stem. Let's try that.

She flicked it. Cut too much. The entire half of the courgette castanet is gone. slap slap slap slap So, I just took the broken off piece of zucchini. Yeah. And just slapped it. Slapped it with the I mean, but why a zucchini? You could do that with anything. I don't know. And it broke. It went It flew and hit Carrie in the belly. Things went flying off the counter top. Oh my god. I mean, Kristen, that was a winner. That was a winner winner chicken dinner right there. I mean, oui oui if you weren't planning on growing zucchini, you're gonna want to I took this out of Carrie's hand and I was gesticulating with it and Carrie flinched. Her eyes blinked at me. She flinched. It's cuz I'm throwing crap at her. It's cuz Kristen has lost her mind. She is so enthusiastic about the potential of anything that is even remotely close to sugar cream pie. Oh yeah, that's it, baby. she's bonkers. Oh my gosh. Okay, so we need two tablespoons of this butter. Carrie, will you melt it in the micro? Oh my gosh. I don't know. This is. I am dizzy from laughing. Okay, deep breath. Oh, Kristen back to the recipe. I feel like I'm going to talk now. Okay, the look on her face. All right, I'm pouring in the awkwardly melted butter from Carrie. Perfect. And then one egg. Here we go. Ready? Yep. All right. So, I looked up and I know I've done this before. Zucchini. Yeah boring. It is a Summer squash. Yes. So, all zucchini are summer squash. Okay. But not all summer squash are zucchini, right? Okay. Yeah. But since all zucchini are summer squash and we've talked a whole lot about zucchini. Yeah, we really have. We're talking about summer squash today baby. Oh Carrie. Yeah. And I gave really interesting things. I mean, our listening audience is riveted. They have plans for Courgette Castanets. I mean, wow. Thank goodness we had that. Okay, so squash And so the squash facts, I couldn't force them all into just summer squash. Sometimes you have to talk about autumnal squash, too. Oh, okay. This is important. Okay. Is it? Yes Because squash is one of the oldest American vegetables. Oh, yes. They've been making it here. Making it here. They've been growing it here in North America since 8000 BC. How do they know that? I have no idea. Oh my goodness. Yeah, but I thought that that was fascinating. That's pretty pretty fascinating. Not necessarily zucchini. Again, just got not necessarily as interesting as a courgette castanette, but okay. What could be really? Well, I feel like at this point, anything I say is just going to mid. Your stuff is just mid. Yes. It's going to pale in comparison. Yeah. Did you notice how Gen Z I sounded? You did. You did a great job. Thank you. That was wonderful. Mhm. And also good to know squash comes from an Indian ca tribe. An Indian ca tribe. An Indian tribe whose name I cannot pronounce. And if I try to pronounce it, Kristen will correct me. So I'm not gonna. Go ahead. Try. Let's let me see if the word from this unnamed Indian tribe is askutasquash, which clearly they shorten to squash. Clearly. Who wants to say that other stuff? And it means eaten raw or uncooked. Oh, I guess you totally could, right? Yeah. Yeah. So, that's how we got it named. So, we got the squash. They have found squash bowls. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That would be used. They would be cut into strips, like the rind of a pumpkin, for example, cut into strips and dried and then weaved into mats for sleeping. Who would have thunk? I had no idea. That's really neat. And so in addition, as this uh website said, to your squash bowl and your squash yoga mat. Yoga mat. Yes. The squash seeds have been used for medicinal purposes. Wow. I had no idea. I thought that that was really fascinating. That means not only is this pie a healthy breakfast food, it's medicinal. Oh, wait until you find out what it's used for. Oh, do tell. Oh, cuz you're going to want to eat twice as much. Oh, tell me. It's used to treat parasites in your intestinal tract. Remember when we read the the diet, the 70s diet to eat the tapeworm pill? Oh gosh. Uggg So apparently you can take your tapeworm pill and then after you've lost enough weight, you'll just want to eat some squash seeds. Mhm. Not just squash, you got to eat the squash seeds. So you want to roast some pumpkin seeds. Nosh on them. Very good. Good. Yeah. Okay. I thought that was fascinating. But they apparently are really good. So that when Europeans came over, they were wanting to take the seeds back. Wow. To use as a parasite treatment because apparently everybody back in 1800 had parasites. Heck yeah. Yeah. Wow. So there you go. You could lay on your yoga mat and have some squash seeds in your squash bowl and be parasite free. The healthiest of healthy. I mean, wow. I know. All because of this pie. That is incredible. Well, on that note, I'm going to take this over to the actual machine part and we're going to blend the heck out of this and then we'll be back and we'll all listen to Carrie crimp the pie crust. Oh, it's going to be an exciting time. And if we're lucky, Kristen will have more stories for us. I do. [Music] 

So, while Kristen was whipping all that into a frenzy, I have been carefully moving all the sharp instruments far out of her reach. Probably a good idea. Uh cuz zucchini Kristen, she crazy. Zucchini Kristen is cray. So, she whipped that and she whipped it good. Yes, I did. It is very liquidy. It is. But let's smell it. See what you think. Okay. It smells fresh. Yes. And vanillay. Very much. You don't smell zucchini at all. But it's a really unique fresh scent. It is. And it's almost just like the consistency of the evaporated milk. It's very thin. Very thin. And it's not lumpy at all. No. Now, I suppose it depends on how powerful of a food processor you have. That's true. When I blended this zucchini, pureed it last night, I pureed it for a very long time. It took a very, very long time for it to be really smooth, like baby food. Oh, right. Cuz again, nobody wants a chunk of zucchini. No. And it was raw, so it took a little bit longer. And I wasn't going to add any liquid to make it puree up better. So, no, it took a very long time, but I wanted to make sure it was smooth as heck. Well, and let's be honest, it's not like it's hard work to turn on the food processor. No, I just turned it on, annoyed my family, and walked off. I love it. Yeah, it was great. So, as I was looking up things that we could talk about cuz obviously courgette castanets are not going to take off the entire podcast, right? Yes. I found some bakers superstitions. Oh. Do you have any superstitions when you bake something? Like things you always do, when you put something in the oven or you're hoping that you have a good bake, you know, do a little happy dance. No, not that I can think of. Well, there was one baker on Reddit who says she always says, "Have fun" to her bakes when she puts it in the oven. I like that. Another one said, "When my bread rises, I compliment it, saying how much it's grown up. I feel like it helps build its self-esteem." Oh, you're such a good boy. You get so big. You're such a good boy. I do talk to it and I'm like, you aren't you a pretty little loaf. See, you do have things like that. But not every time. It, you know, just depends on my mood. Oh, I gotcha. There was this one person who says, "My co-baker at work tells her bakes, be good," when she puts them in. But this person is actually a little more vulgar. She says, "Good luck, effers." But in a loving way. But in a loving way. And she actually says the f word. Yeah. Well, yeah. You know, I've said the A word a couple of times on here. You've been swearing like a sailor. like an effort. That's funny. Oh my gosh. I thought that was funny. Good luck, effers. Good luck, effers. That's what we're going to say when we put this in. That's exactly what we'll have to do. Yeah. So, just a little fact here. Yeah. I have never crimped a crust before in my life. Really? Because you've done it all wrong. I I'm just kidding. I bake a lot, but not pies. Oh, well, I think it looks just like what mom used to do. Oh, great. Okay, so now let's pour this liquid in and see what it looks like. And then we get to top this with cinnamon and nutmeg. I mean, that's really the best part. It really is. Now, this makes me a little nervous about sprinkling on the cinnamon. Is that what it says? Just Yeah, we just sprinkle it on the top and then we do the nutmeg on the top. And I thought we'd be fancy schmanzy. And I have whole nutmegs here and a little grinder thingy that we're going to do fresh nutmeg on the top. That seems dangerous. Oh, no. That one's not dangerous. I do it all the time. But you do. Okay. So, now, just since I'm doing the cinnamon, be prepared for Kristen to take over any second now because she's going to do it all wrong. But let's see. Oh, that's too much. Nothing's come out yet, FYI. I I think that's plenty. She's such a joy to cook with I'm just teasing you And you And you all wonder why I sit back and chat. I know, right? So, let me put a little nutmeg on. All right. Oh, she got herself a new nut Okay, I'm watching her do this nut and it looks dangerous. Oh, not that dangerous. It's sliding right off. Let me get one of the ones that already has a groove in it. Can you guys hear it? I don't know why they wouldn't. That looks pretty good, doesn't it? I don't want to overdo it cuz it is fresh nutmeg. Can you ever overdo nutmeg? I think not. I think if you eat too much nutmeg, it's poisonous. It It's hallucinogenic. I think put more on. Yeah, I had a stoner boyfriend in uh in college. All the Kristen stories are coming out today. As it turns out, give her a little zucchini girl goes crazy. And he was trying to find out how many nutmeg nuts he'd have to eat to have it be hallucinogenic. I'm like, that would be a pungent way to have that would taste like burning. It seems very unpleasant. It does. Let's smell it. It smells awesome. Go ahead and get your nose down in there from here. Good. because I didn't want the tip to fall off into it. So that's So anyway, I was researching those um superstitions about baking and I realized that I actually have a superstitions book and I had to share some with you. Oh, it's from 1978 and it's called Take Warning, a book of superstitions. And they had one about pie. Oh, okay. That's appropriate. It is. It says if you eat the point of a piece of pie before you eat the rest of the piece, you will never be married. False. I know, right? Cuz where else do you start? That would be really weird. But then on Facebook, I found this um well post that said that it actually is a Scottish tradition to eat the crust first. So that the last bite on your plate is the little tip of it. and one would turn their plate counterclockwise three times and make a wish. I'll be doggone. Okay. But yeah, I like the crust. So, this is how I eat a pie. I eat the point. Yes. And then I take a bite of the crust. Oh. Because if the crust is delicious, I'm saving that crap for last. Sometimes I'll even push the crust down and eat all the filling and the little thin crust and save that amazing buttery crust for my last couple bites. Oo. Oh yeah, there's a method to it. But it all depends on what's the tastiest. That's a good idea. I mean, where's that in your book? Well, I do not have that. But I think when we go to taste this, we should do the Scottish tradition. Turn the plate three times and make a wish. Okay. Yeah. And then we're going to pop this in the oven and when we come back I will read you more superstitions. There's more. Oh, I have the whole book here marked off. Carrie, let's see. Holy cow. Yeah, there's one about pumpkin. There's one about the asthma. There's one about being a good cook. I'm looking at this book. She has little tabs in there. There's got to be like 75 Yeah. tabs. Yeah. You guys are going to enjoy every bit of this. It won't be as exciting as a courgette castanet, but wow. Holy moly. Okay. Can I leave them with a parting piece of information? Sure. Since we often do things from the kind of Midwest states. Yes. And obviously, you know, we're from Ohio and all of that. I was fascinated to find out that Do you know, I've kind of given it away. I don't. What state currently produces the most squash, including zucchini? No. So, up until 2023, it was California. Really? But in 2023, it changed to Michigan. Oh my gosh. Speaking of Michigan. Oh, I was I I was at a farmers market yesterday in Michigan. No. Oh, and I was standing behind these women and one of the women said to the other, "Oh, that's what any Michigander would say." And I went, "Okay, I'm going to be a pushy broad." And I said, "Did you just say Michigander?" And they said, "Yes." And I asked them about bumpy cake. Oh, hilarious. Yes. And they totally knew bumpy cake. They ate it for every birthday. They had to have bumpy cake. I hope they're listening to the podcast cuz they asked us where to listen and what the name of it was. They were so excited. They're from Detroit and they do not pronounce it Sanders Bakery. It's Saunders. You had asked. Yeah, I had poo pooed. Yeah, you're like it's Sanders, Kristen. Schmidt Sanders. Schmidt Sanders. Schmidt Sanders. Yep. I'll be doggone. Yes. And they were so so excited to hear that we made bumpy cake and it's their family tradition. They just had it while they were there a couple weeks ago in Michigan. That is hilarious. I really am excited cuz I want someone I know to have a baby so that I can take bumpy to the baby shower. that's way nicer cuz I wanted someone to get in a car accident so I could make them a bumpy cake. Oh, you got a little fender bender. A little bump there. Zucchini Kristen, everyone. We'll be back. Maybe. Good luck, effers. [Music]

Okay, we are back with the most beautiful looking pie. You know why it looks so good? Why? Whoever sprinkled that cinnamon on the top. Oh, it looks like too much to me, quite honestly. Really? No, I'm kidding. I thought he nutmeg kind of looked wrong. Oh, yeah. I guess we'll find out when we taste it, huh? Yes. When do we get to do that? Well, before we taste it, I told you that. I was going to read you some superstitions that you might like. Oh, you're right. You know, the bottom of the pie pan is a little bit warm. And of course, we always push stuff. We eat it before it's ready, right? But let's take a few seconds and I'll give you some take warning superstitions. Oh, Zucchini Kristen, she's got stuff. Yeah, baby. All right. All right. So, 723 tags. Yeah, I do. Um, this shouldn't take long at all. I'm going to pull up a chair and have a drink. So, I would not have wanted to have asthma back in the day when these superstitions came out cuz here were the solutions for your your asthmar. Okay. Okay. Put your head under water. No. Okay. No. Uh, but they're really gross. Oh, good. Yeah. To cure asthma, collect spider's webs. What do you do with them? Uh, you roll them into a ball in between the palms of your hands and swallow the ball.

You got the nasty stuff from your hands. The web sticking as it goes down. Yeah. Full disclosure. Yeah. I got out of the car last night. Yeah. I started walking into the garage, went to say something to my spouse. Yeah. Opened my mouth, walked through a spiderweb that went right into the mouth. Right in the mouth. And if that's not bad enough, Yeah. I got up this morning, got in my car. Yeah. There was a spiderweb in my car. Oh, also got into my mouth. And you know what, people? I don't have asthma. It worked. It worked. It worked. Clearly, you do not need the uh secondary cure, which is to put the head of a live frog into the mouth of the sufferer for a minute and the illness will pass into the frog. Oh, that's I think we should try that. Yeah. You think so? I look forward to that. Yeah, I think. Okay. So, Carrie, you often say that you don't feel like the best cook ever, right? What? No, I'm amazing. You're a good baker. You're a great baker. But okay, so it says if you can touch the forefinger and little finger of your left hand over the back of your hand, you will be a good cook. Nope. Over the back. I can't. Really close. Oh man. Oh, there. Oh, she did it. I had to use my thumb though. So that I don't know if that's true cuz I'm an excellent cook. Your husband does say everything you make is the most delicious thing he has ever eaten in his life. Absolutely. It's the funniest. I totally harass the man within an inch of his life. I love it. Mhm. What'd you have for dinner last night? Was it the best thing you've ever eaten? The answer is always like, "Yes, I have a good husband." Yep. Okay, so two more things, Carrie. I don't know if you know this, but it's unlucky to laugh before dawn. Who's up before dawn? That's what I'm saying. That's why I just freaking sleep in. Yeah, I have. I have. Yep. No problems there, people. I'm safe. And in order to remember it, folks, there's a little rhyme. Oh. Laugh before light, cry before night. Oh wow. And the last one, since Carrie is a Halloween baby, this is really important. It is bad luck to sleep in a room with a pumpkin. No It is. Does stuffed pumpkins count? Uh, do tattoos count? I was going to ask. I don't know. I don't know, Carrie. I don't know. You don't have any other tales to regale I had a bunch, but you were so mean to me that I'm ready to cut into this pie. Okay. Okay. So, I'm going to and There are special things about pies that we have to do today. That's true. It's the Scottish folk lore, right? That we have to eat the crust first. And then after the last bite, I believe we have to turn the plate. What did it say? Three times counterclockwise and make a wish. I'm just going to is this going to make us get married cuz I feel like we've done that. No, this is just a wish. Okay. Very good. We've been there, done that. Again, married to the best husband ever who likes my food, right? And you're married to a husband who makes the food. Makes the food. That's right. You know what? This texture-wise feels great. I don't It's not going to slosh all over the place. I don't think we cooked this sucker much longer than it said to. We did. You were supposed to be able to insert a knife and have it come out clean. This is shocking to me on a cream pie. I feel like we could stick a knife in now and it wouldn't come out clean. I agree. Let's take a picture of this. Look how freaking beautiful that is. I want to eat that crust that fell off. Give it to me. Give it to me now. Oh wow. This looks just like sugar cream pie from the side. That's beautiful. Oh my gosh. There's too much cinnamon on it. But other than that, it's gorgeous.

It's set up perfectly. Yeah. So, we put the pie in for three additional minutes and the knife still didn't come out clean. So, we did five additional minutes. Knife's still not clean. We did another five minutes. So, 13 minutes in total. And the knife was quasi clean. We're like, "Yeah, we're done. Good enough." Yeah. The pie crust though, when we first looked, it was barely brown. So, we just kept thinking, "If the pie crust looks good, we're good." Yeah. And the bottom was perfectly fine. Okay. Stop your jibber jabber. Do I get to go first on this one? Of course. But I have to eat it from the crust end, don't I? Okay. All right. She has her bite. She did not go gentle and take a small one. She went for broke. She's nodding. She's not grinning like it's the best thing she's ever had. This is the sugar cream pie of my dreams. This is mom's diner. I got the last piece and I refuse to share it with my mother. No. No. She's pensive. It's good. but it's no sugar cream pie. Really? Maybe it's the lard that my husband used in the crust. Did you think the crust tasted funky? I think the crust tasted very lardy. Yep. I think he used old lard. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, that's all right cuz our last bite is not from the crust end. That's true. Okay. So, I'm just going to take just the filling. Well, you can't eat it all right now. After you take a bite. I'm going to just take the filling. It's still warm. It is a little warm, isn't it? So, I didn't eat the whole crust and I took it from the crust end cuz I want my wish. Um, that's pretty good. The filling is delicious. I think it's the crust. I'm so sad cuz he makes a delicious crust. When he pulled that lard out, I was like, "How old is that lard?" And I saw he bought new lard. But he didn't use it on our crust. I think it is. Mhm. When you just have a little bit of the crust with the filling, it tastes fine. The filling is delicious. It's not sugar cream pie. Sugar cream pie is. Sugar cream pie is richer and thicker and stickier. Mhm. But this is delicious. Mhm. Okay. So, what do we do? Do we just each take a last bite? Do we? Yeah. Let's each take a last bite. But you can't eat the tip. Okay. So, we are now going to twist this counterclockwise. How many times? Three. Three. One, two, three. And make a wish. I hope people come back. Even though the pie crust had stinky lard. And even though Kristen made the most inappropriate episode ever, not safe for work. I hope Zucchini Kristen does not come back episode after episode. Oh my gosh. Now, who gets the last bite? You may have it, Carrie. Why? Because I love you. Really, though? I do. But also, it tastes like lard. Ah, just kidding. I like this better than sugar cream pie. Really? Well, I think the next time we ought to make a real live sugar cream pie for our next episode. What do you think? Maybe it turns out I actually like sugar cream pie in all this time. Yeah, I've just been avoiding it. Maybe. I think I actually like zucchini sugar cream pie better. Wow. Okay. It's not as sweet. No. No. It's not as sticky. That's true. The texture is better. You really get the cinnamon and nutmeg. It's just delicious. It is. Yeah. I really love that. But I think we need to taste test it with some sugar cream pie we need comparison. Oh, totally. Okay. All right. So, I guess that's it for this episode, folks. We will see you next time. And Kristen's gonna force me to eat sugar cream pie. Heck yeah. Wow. Is it never enough for you, Kristen? I give and I give. Never enough. Well, that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for joining us. Mark your calendars for November 17th. We will be making sugar cream pie. More sugar cream pie. It's the most delicious, tasty treat known to mankind. Don't miss it.

Thanks for listening to Mom's Wooden Spoon. If you like what you heard, don't forget to subscribe. If you want a copy of this recipe or to see the pictures and other items from this episode, go to our website, mom'swoodspoon.com. If you'd rather check us out on Facebook or Instagram, pick your poison. Don't say poison. We're making food. Boring Carrie is boring. Oh, let me turn my sound off. Carrie is boring. Carrie is boring. And she flips me off.